Intellectual Discussion Thread [Archive] - Tactics Arena Community Forums

abyaly

10-09-2004, 11:27 PM

This thread is dedicated to trying to have intellectual discussions about completely stupid topics. Just the other day, when a fre friends and I were talking about using zombies to take over the world, some guy comes in with a crazy idea about zombie jellyfish body condoms. That was when someone remarked on how difficult it was to have an intelligent discussion about zombies.

So, if you wanted to use zombies to take over the world, and you could only afford -one- zombie to start with, which would you start with? Keep in mind that arthropods cannot be zombies, since their bodies decompose too easily. This is about sci-fi zombies, not fantasy zombies (this means they are not created through magic, but some far-fetched scientific scheme). One bite spreads the zombie disease to another host. The zombies do not bite each other. Your average zombie is too stupid to think about turning on you.

Idea one: Human Zombie
Advantages:
The classic human zombie is the least expensive.
Disadvantages:
Slow and suspiscious-looking. The zombie walks up to someone to try to bite him, and the guy backs away slowly, or shoots the zombie. You're unlikely to even get a population of more than one zombie, since people will notice when there's a groaning zombie slowly walking up to them to try and bite them.

Idea two: Homeless Zombie
Advantages:
The same thing as a normal human zombie, except you kill a homeless person and give it his clothes. Therefore it's jsut as cheap as a normal human zombie. It's wont look as suspisciois for a homeless person to be stumbling around and groaning. It could cause an entire soup kitchen to be quickly infected, since they all crowd together so much.
Disadvantages:
Smells worse than a normal zombie, and just as slow. After you have your first soup kitchen infected and a small wave of homeless zombies, you will already have people running for their lives and getting guns to blow the heads off of your hard-earned zombies. Once that happens, they might all get wiped out.

Idea three: Wi-Fi Zombies
Advantages:
An army of wireless zombies, recieving a signal from the zombie control satellite you launched before (you do remember that satellite you launched.. right?) doesnt need it's head. Once it's head is blown off, it can keep on moving, due to the GPS tracking system and the satellite signal. This makes your zombies much more durable. Hell, it can just walk over, pick it's head up, and throw it at the shooter in order to bite him.
Disadvantages:
It's hella expensive to launch a satellite. You probably wont even be able to afford a zombie, much less install the control system. The sheer amount of money needed to pull this off doesnt make it feasible

These are a few (but less than a quarter of) the ideas brought up before the conversation degraded. I would like to hear other people's thoughts before I continue.

xerent

10-09-2004, 11:31 PM

Entropy would be a problem.

Your maitnence overhead will be to great to make this feasable.

abyaly

10-09-2004, 11:32 PM

Maintenance? Once you have more than one zombie, they're expendable. Let them rot.

xerent

10-09-2004, 11:33 PM

Having two zombies make them both expendable?

abyaly

10-09-2004, 11:34 PM

Having two zombies makes one of them expendable. Anyway, you want a strategy that doesn't cause you to have two zombies. The idea is to jump from one to fifty.

xerent

10-09-2004, 11:37 PM

Right. Fifty zombies.

You could do quite a few things with 50 zombies. Start a book club... Join a bowling league.

I'm liking this idea.

abyaly

10-09-2004, 11:42 PM

So we're back where we started. What is a cost-effective way to get an arsenal of zombies?

DeadFishGuy

10-10-2004, 01:43 AM

My guess would be to try and find out how the zombies infect others.

If it were some sort of venom, you could extract a lot of the stuff from your first few zombies, then spike peoples' drinks with it. Instant mass zombies.

If it was a condition of zombie teeth that caused the person bitten to change, rather than injecting a substance, you could figure out what property of the zombie teeth causes this change to take place.

Cavour

10-10-2004, 06:29 AM

I'm liking DFG's idea... If you could find out HOW the zombies spread the disease, whether it be through saliva, venom, etc., you could collect a fairly large quantity over time and say... slip some into a town's water supply? And if you couldn't get a large enough supply you could work in small dosages and put some of the virus on a blow gun's dart, or slip a few drops into a family's dinner or something... The problem in this being that you'd probably have to kill a zombie to collect what you need, and if you didn't have enough cash to hook yourself up with another one, it's complete do or die.

DeadFishGuy

10-10-2004, 06:35 AM

Well, what you could do is use the stuff you get out of one zombie to create 10 more zombies, kill one, use it to make ten more zombies, then kill one, use that to make another ten zombies, and so on and so forth.

Now the main problem is just how they spread their infection.

doubledown

10-10-2004, 06:36 AM

it probably would be best to start off staying under the radar so to speak. Infect animals first. Look how effective the black plague was, but since people learned from that you cant use rats anymore. I'd say use pigeons...I mean look at any large city and you have tons of em and the people are used to them. If you infect the pigeons first, then you get the whole Alfred Hitchcock Birds thing going and can infect entire cities at a time.

DeadFishGuy

10-10-2004, 06:38 AM

Originally posted by doubledown
it probably would be best to start off staying under the radar so to speak. Infect animals first. Look how effective the black plague was, but since people learned from that you cant use rats anymore. I'd say use pigeons...I mean look at any large city and you have tons of em and the people are used to them. If you infect the pigeons first, then you get the whole Alfred Hitchcock Birds thing going and can infect entire cities at a time.

That's a very effective way of spreading it, but you first need to figure out how to manually infect the pigeons.

Wurtil

10-10-2004, 06:49 AM

One of the easiest ways to create a large amount of zombies in a short amount of time is to simply treat the matter as if it were a large corporation. Simply put, advertising and celebrity endorsements are always an easy way to reach a massive amount of people. If one's budget is extremely short, all it takes is a simple ad in the newspaper or whatnot advertising free food and beer in a secluded and extremely backwater location. From there, it is simply a matter of showing them the basement where all the food and beer is, and locking the door behind them. The homeless will flock to it, as will the college students. Both of these are poor targets, as the cash they drop when turning into zombies is very low seeing as they are indeed homeless or poor and in college. However, a third type of person will come as well. . .the middle aged man who wishes he was in college again. You'll recognize him by the insane amount of collogne he will be wearing and the Funkmaster, Inc. chain around his neck. He will provide an ample amount of money to increase your advertising campaign.

After coaxing the middle aged and penny-less, it is time to move onto bigger targets. Celebrity endorsements are all the rage, so pick yourself up one. Mick Jagger is always a prime target of mine for zombie world conquest. Not only does he not decrease in speed, but nobody seems to notice anyway. From there, a celebrity zombie will not only be a rally figure for the rest of your zombies, but will also be able to bite any and possible all adoring fans of said celebrity. In addition, this makes it easier to recruit more celebrities into your campaign, seeing as there are always benefit dinners and award shows to go to. Just make sure your celebrity nevers bites any political figures, as it wouldn't be more than a week before Al Franken and Pat O'Reilly will release a book detailing who-bit-who and how American is better/worse off because of it.

(editor's note - the cheapest way to get many zombies is always going to be hiring some fresh-out-of college kid with a deformed back and a larger then normal cranium to simply extract the bodies from graveyards and bring them to your laboratory. This process is much slower than simply going to Zombie Co. and buying your own zombie, but it pays off in the long run.)

Hugh Junit

10-10-2004, 06:56 AM

Originally posted by Wurtil
If one's budget is extremely short, all it takes is a simple ad in the newspaper or whatnot advertising free food and beer in a secluded and extremely backwater location.

I'm not sure that a scam like that would be effective. I know I'd never fall for it.

* begins walking toward extremely backwater location *

doubledown

10-10-2004, 06:56 AM

Whoa! The Dark Lord has spoken. With such a well thought-out plan for zombification of the world, I can see now how really evil he is.

Leigh

10-10-2004, 07:48 AM

We NEED a poll to see who people think is the funniest poster..... the one that makes you fall down laughing everytime you read his stuff...

Course... We knowwho would win Hugh :)

Serge

10-10-2004, 10:18 AM

Zombies? I always called them politicians...

Seriously though, you'r thinking too much in to it. It's rather easy. You make one zombie, you send him to Utah, in a matter of days the entire state will be infected. While most states would be smart enough to fend off the attack, Utah is the exception, you then move on through the states hitting all the prime targets, North Dakota, South Dakota, Florida, Poland, West Virginia, Alabama, and so forth. Attack the weak and it will make you stronger. Although an Alabama zombie is significantly dumber than say a Massachusetts zombie.

abyaly

10-10-2004, 11:17 AM

The problem I see with Wurtil's and DFG's plans are messy criminal investigations. Once they're on to you, you'll have a very hard time plotting a world take-over, and you may even end up with some James Bond and/or Batman types after you. (And noone wants that)

Also, zombie-ism is spread through blood. A zombie has rotting sores in it's mouth. When it bites, the blood from the sores mixes with the blood of the victim. I'm also pretty sure that if you have sex with a zombie, you'll be infected (I haven't tried this so I'm not sure).

Another Idea. Suppose you start with a zombie chihuahua. It's small and yappy, so people don't notice it. It would quickly bite other dogs, and then run around nipping at people's ankles!

T3km4n

10-10-2004, 01:02 PM

Date-Rape, Zombie drug?

abyaly

10-12-2004, 05:14 AM

You're the only one that wants to date rape a zombie, t3 :rolleyes:

T3km4n

10-12-2004, 05:45 AM

Originally posted by DeadFishGuy
My guess would be to try and find out how the zombies infect others.

If it were some sort of venom, you could extract a lot of the stuff from your first few zombies, then spike peoples' drinks with it. Instant mass zombies.

If it was a condition of zombie teeth that caused the person bitten to change, rather than injecting a substance, you could figure out what property of the zombie teeth causes this change to take place. I meant this.

Northwind

10-12-2004, 09:09 AM

OK, it’s good to see so many ideas regarding world zombification. I was especially heartened to see Wurtil’s well thought out reply. Clearly he has given this topic the attention it so clearly deserves.

I, however, have another plan. Let’s look at the facts as they stand: 1) We don’t have a lot of money, 2) we want to create many zombies, 3) human zombies are slow and easy to spot, 4) we don’t want to let messy legal investigations get in our way, and 5) arthropod zombies decay too quickly to be truly useful. (Am I missing anything?). I have also inferred that human zombies are a strain on the budget. BTW, what’s a good human zombie run these days anyway? Are we talking a few hundred dollars or is this like buying a car? Anyway, my six-point plan for zombifying the world does not rely on the initial outlay of cash for a human zombie.

1) Buy one zombie rat (these have got to be pretty cheap, right?)
2) Shave said rat
3) Buy one thousand mosquitoes from your local mosquito supply store (Mosquitoes ‘R’ Us would be fine)
4) Smuggle said hairless rat and bag of mosquitoes into a large sporting or entertainment event. As Wurtil mentioned, a Rolling Stones concert is not a bad idea as Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and the rest of the band are difficult to distinguish from zombies already.
5) Place mosquitoes into box with hairless rat.
6) After the mosquitoes have had a chance to bit the rat (and thus turned into zombie mosquitoes), release the mosquitoes into the crowd. Thus, even if the mosquitoes decay quickly, they would have time for at least one bite before they crumbled to dust.

In no time, you will have a crowd with hundreds of zombies. These zombies then bite their fellow-concert goers (who can’t run and have left their shotguns at home) who, after the Zombie Stones perform an ironic cover-version of “She’s Not There” by the band “The Zombies”, then spill out into the streets and all hell breaks loose. One or two zombies can be easily stopped with a well-placed shotgun blast. 40,000 zombies singing “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” and biting everything that moves would be truly impossible to stop. As an added bonus, at the Zombie Stones and their zombie roadies go on a “Spread the Decay” tour and the rest of the plan unfolds as Wurtil predicted.

I challenge any of you to find a hole in this plan. Yep, I think we have finally solved the age-old dilemma of how to populate the world with zombies. Just another day of work for the Mighty Northwind!

S_K_O_F

10-12-2004, 09:13 AM

but northy

how do you control said zombies?

Northwind

10-12-2004, 09:18 AM

Why would one need to control them? Zombies bite people, it's just what they do. So all you have to do is to create the zombies and let them have at it. See the elegance of the plan?

And, as an afterthought, I notice that SKOF is always shooting down my plans for world zombification and hasn't proposed a plan himself. Yeah, it's far easier to sit back and criticize instead of doing the hard work yourself. What do you have to say about that SKOF, huh, punk?

S_K_O_F

10-12-2004, 09:25 AM

producing a plan to zombify the world would be a feeble attempt by my unintelligent mind

i say screw zombifying the world...lets just nuke it

ArcPaladinZero

10-12-2004, 09:26 AM

I suggest doing that to the entire middle east. Clear out all the non-terrorist people and turn the place into a giant parking lot.

S_K_O_F

10-12-2004, 01:08 PM

Originally posted by ArcPaladinZero
I suggest doing that to the entire middle east. Clear out all the non-terrorist people and turn the place into a giant parking lot.

the terrorists would see it coming and move along with everyone else

then they would be living next door to each and every one of us

i dont know about you...but i really don't want a man living in my neighborhood who's god is telling him to kill me because I believe that Jesus Christ was the Messiah and I don't believe in muhammed as a prophet of god

Jeffery

10-12-2004, 02:05 PM

Originally posted by S_K_O_F
the terrorists would see it coming and move along with everyone else

then they would be living next door to each and every one of us

i dont know about you...but i really don't want a man living in my neighborhood who's god is telling him to kill me because I believe that Jesus Christ was the Messiah and I don't believe in muhammed as a prophet of god

How about someone living next door who's god is telling him to kill you because you don't take Sunday's off in reflection of god's will to have that as a day of rest????

back to the Zombie:

Just have a few zombies go to a large airport with flights to places all over the world. Have them bit people heading to different locals.
By the time the police realise that they have zombies in custody, the victims would have already dispersed throughout the world.
Since it takes time for the zombiefication to occur, they would be well spread out before turning to zombies and attacking others.

The e[idemic would be unstoppable unless Dustan Hoffan was around.

S_K_O_F

10-12-2004, 03:30 PM

Originally posted by Jeffery
How about someone living next door who's god is telling him to kill you because you don't take Sunday's off in reflection of god's will to have that as a day of rest????

???

im not sure where in the bible God says that

perhaps you could enlighten me

Jeffery

10-12-2004, 04:33 PM

Originally posted by S_K_O_F
???

im not sure where in the bible God says that

perhaps you could enlighten me

But the seventh day [is] the sabbath of the LORD thy God: [in it] thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that [is] within thy gates: For [in] six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them [is], and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it." (Exo. 20:10-11)

" Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it [is] holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth [any] work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people. Six days may work be done; but in the seventh [is] the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth [any] work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death." (Exo. 31:14-15)

" Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death." (Exo. 35:2)

" Six days shall work be done: but the seventh day [is] the sabbath of rest, an holy convocation; ye shall do no work [therein]: it [is] the sabbath of the LORD in all your dwellings." (Lev. 23:3)

Excaliber

10-12-2004, 04:41 PM

I love intelectually disscussing random and pointles stuff! :cool:

cs_zero

10-12-2004, 04:45 PM

The best zombie take-overness army would be 200 zombies, so that even if half of them die, u still have 50 left to conqure with.

What r u talking about jeff?:D

Jeffery

10-12-2004, 04:48 PM

Originally posted by Excaliber
I love intelectually disscussing random and pointles stuff! :cool:

This is not a random discussion. this is an intilectual discussion on the best way to make zombies take over the world.
The side diatribes are for informative purposes only.

And cs_zero, that post is EXACTLY why i singled you out as a useless spammer. Your post not only added NOTHING to the thread and conversation, and only served to further show yourself as a spammer with nothing worth saying.

Northwind

10-12-2004, 06:50 PM

People, people! What are you doing? The zombie problem has already been solved (see my earlier post). Now we must move on to another, more important, topic. I suggest that we consider the design problem inherent in dogs.

On a hike several years ago, my beagle, James, ran up to a pile of leaves to smell it. Unfortunately for James, the pile of leaves contained a copperhead snake which promptly bit him on the face. Luckily, James lived, though it was a very unpleasant afternoon for all of us. This clearly reveals that dogs are poorly designed. Lacking hands or any tool grasping appendages, they must check things out with their face. This leaves their face vulnerable to attack.

How should dogs be designed to correct this flaw?

I suggest that if dogs had a horny protuberance on the end of their nose (about two feet long), they could smell things without making themselves vulnerable.

Oh right, and I suppose you have a better idea? Let’s hear it.

abyaly

10-12-2004, 07:14 PM

Dogs are already able to smell things from a distance. Their nose is much more sensitive than ours. The design flaw with dogs is that they are too stupid not to shove their face into mystyrious places while sniffing around. What dogs need is bone plating on the outside of their head so that when they stupidly shove their nose into things, nothing can easily penetrate it - unless they're sniffing a train track or something along those lines.

Jeffery

10-13-2004, 12:07 AM

I think the best way to solve the design flaws inherent in dogs is to visit the local taxidermist and have the dog stuffed and mounted.

ChingyDTP

10-13-2004, 01:00 AM

Seven zombies, quite a few things you can do with seven zombies, I could throw a poker game! Now all I gotta do is find my satellite, it's probably near my legos.

abyaly

10-13-2004, 05:12 AM

But jeffery, if you have the dog stuffed, it's no longer waterproof. It's important for a dog to be waterproof, but that can be solved by wrapping the dog in ceran wrap after it's stuffed. Next, to compensate for it's reduced mobility, you need to attach motorized roller skates to it's legs that are waterproof and can be operated by remote control. Next, it's sense of smell is gone after the stuffing, so you need to install an electronic sme--oh, to hell with it. That's too expensive. The ideal way to get rid of the inherent flaw in dogs is to visit Northwind's palace and beseech him to get the dog zombified.

S_K_O_F

10-13-2004, 06:13 AM

Originally posted by Jeffery
But the seventh day [is] the sabbath of the LORD thy God: [in it] thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that [is] within thy gates: For [in] six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them [is], and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it." (Exo. 20:10-11)

" Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it [is] holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth [any] work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people. Six days may work be done; but in the seventh [is] the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth [any] work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death." (Exo. 31:14-15)

" Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death." (Exo. 35:2)

" Six days shall work be done: but the seventh day [is] the sabbath of rest, an holy convocation; ye shall do no work [therein]: it [is] the sabbath of the LORD in all your dwellings." (Lev. 23:3)

oh yeah...the old testement...(God's covenant with the Jews)

I am a Protestant...our religion is based off of the new covenant God made with the world as laid out in the New Testament

EDIT - do you have many Jews for neighbors?

T3km4n

10-13-2004, 06:14 AM

Originally posted by cs_zero
The best zombie take-overness army would be 200 zombies, so that even if half of them die, u still have 50 left to conqure with.

What r u talking about jeff?:D Did anyone notice this?

Was this on purpose?

I sure hope so.

Half of 200 is 100 bud.

Northwind

10-13-2004, 08:50 AM

Aby- Clearly, addressing the dog design issue is only a temporary measure until the world is zombified. OBVIOUSLY, my dog will eventually turn into a zombie (On a side note, if zombie Keith Richards were to bite my dog, that would be the second time that Keith bit one of my pets. I won’t go into the other unfortunate situation.) Anyway, what I am talking about is what we should do in the meantime.

You and Jeffrey both propose some interesting ideas. However, I see problems with both approaches. As you yourself admit, Aby, the “bony plate” idea would not prevent a dog from getting hit by a train. And Jeffrey’s “taxidermy” idea, while presenting some clear benefits, would make playing with your dog much less fun, and so is not the ideal solution either. (I’m betting that it wouldn’t take long before you would tire of taking your stuffed dog for his daily drag.). So, we need a solution that keeps dogs from sniffing moving trains and that does not unnecessarily impede one’s ability to enjoy spending time with said dog.

It is an interesting idea that it is the dog’s natural stupidity, and not their design, that is the ultimate problem. Therefore, we either have to design the dog to protect it from it’s own stupidity or make the dog smarter somehow. As I’m not sure how to make the dog smarter, I will focus on the design issue. What if dogs were simply born wrapped in multiple layers of bubble wrap (with the large, rather than the small bubbles). That way, a snake’s fangs couldn’t penetrate all the way through and being hit by a train would simply bounce him out of harm’s way. The bubble wrap would continually grow and slough off like shark’s teeth. As an added benefit, whenever you needed to package something up, you could just tear off some excess bubble wrap from your dog and use this. What do you think?

EDIT: Maybe having some visuals would help us decide. Amaroth - Could you draw up some MS Paint versions of the various designs proposed?

cs_zero

10-13-2004, 11:31 AM

Originally posted by T3km4n
Did anyone notice this?

Was this on purpose?

I sure hope so.

Half of 200 is 100 bud.
the 200 was originaly a 100, but wanted more zombies, so i changed it, but i forgot to change the 50 as well

S_K_O_F

10-13-2004, 11:46 AM

Originally posted by cs_zero
the 200 was originaly a 100, but wanted more zombies, so i changed it, but i forgot to change the 50 as well

i love the excuses that everybody comes up with on this board

it makes it very intertaining:D

cs_zero

10-13-2004, 11:47 AM

dont you mean entertaining?? ;)

Serge

10-13-2004, 05:05 PM

I am assuming the dog problem is solved. Now I think we should focus are superior-intellect, that does not include you, cs-zero, on the serious problem being called Bunitis. As you know, hotdogs, the food, you twit, come in packages of ten, while buns for said hotdogs, come in packages of eight. This leaves us with two bun-less hotdogs. Now if you happen to be babysitting a little kid who eats two hotdogs, cut-up, without buns there is no problem. However, this requires you to babysit one child for each package of hotdogs, which seriously impedes any fun-having there is to be had at a Bar-B-Que. I would appreciate some solutions to this dilemna, and remember neither the hotdog companies nor bun companies will change their numbers.

Foundation

10-13-2004, 05:10 PM

lol bullet-proof monk ? that movie was horrible

to solve the bun problem buy 4 buns and 5 sausages :D

Jeffery

10-13-2004, 05:12 PM

Originally posted by Serge
I am assuming the dog problem is solved. Now I think we should focus are superior-intellect, that does not include you, cs-zero, on the serious problem being called Bunitis. As you know, hotdogs, the food, you twit, come in packages of ten, while buns for said hotdogs, come in packages of eight. This leaves us with two bun-less hotdogs. Now if you happen to be babysitting a little kid who eats two hotdogs, cut-up, without buns there is no problem. However, this requires you to babysit one child for each package of hotdogs, which seriously impedes any fun-having there is to be had at a Bar-B-Que. I would appreciate some solutions to this dilemna, and remember neither the hotdog companies nor bun companies will change their numbers.

There is also the fact that hot dogs are shorter than the buns, unless you pay extra to get 'bun-length" hotdogs.

The solution to your dilema is to by hot dogs in 3lb bulk packs, and buns in the packs of 12.

Also, there are many hot dog brands that come 8 to a pound, which would match your 8 bun pack perfectly.

The overall solution is to be a better shopper.

Serge

10-13-2004, 05:18 PM

Damn, I must really suck at shopping...

Okay...so...uhh...at least my zombie idea was good! I think it would work better than North's!

S_K_O_F

10-13-2004, 10:42 PM

Originally posted by Jeffery
There is also the fact that hot dogs are shorter than the buns, unless you pay extra to get 'bun-length" hotdogs.

The solution to your dilema is to by hot dogs in 3lb bulk packs, and buns in the packs of 12.

Also, there are many hot dog brands that come 8 to a pound, which would match your 8 bun pack perfectly.

The overall solution is to be a better shopper.

actually...the solution is to have bigger bar-b-ques

when you buy 10 pack hot dogs...buy four and then buy 5 packes of buns

# of buns = # of hotdogs

any other questions that need solving...i will give you the least economical answer

Northwind

10-14-2004, 09:13 AM

The hotdog problem is so easy it's ridiculous.

1) Place all ten hotdogs into a blender and puree them.
2) Open all 8 buns and pour your hotdog puree into them equally.
3) Wrap each filled bun in Saran Wrap (TM) and freeze them.
4) Remove them from the freezer as needed and toast them in a toaster over or, less appetizingly, place them in a microwave until heated.
5) Ta Da! Kick back and enjoy your creation.

Note: For extra time-savings, simply place ketchup, mustard, relish, chili, etc. into the blender with the hotdogs. That way you do not have to add it to each one individually after you heat them.

EDIT: And, for the health conscious among you who might not want to consume the nitrates and processed meat products in hot dogs, you can also substitute blended fish as a bun filling. I suggest a fattier fish such as salmon or swordfish. You don't even have to scale or clean the fish - the blender will take care of all that!

DeadFishGuy

10-14-2004, 09:50 AM

Pure genius.

Well, that's that problem solved.

Now onto this:

How do you get a sample of Caesium into a person, thereby causing them to explode due to the Caesium reacting with the water (it's an "Alkali Metal") without it reacting whilst in the mouth or before it is even inside the person at all?

S_K_O_F

10-14-2004, 09:59 AM

Jeffery

10-14-2004, 11:29 AM

Originally posted by DeadFishGuy
Pure genius.

Well, that's that problem solved.

Now onto this:

How do you get a sample of Caesium into a person, thereby causing them to explode due to the Caesium reacting with the water (it's an "Alkali Metal") without it reacting whilst in the mouth or before it is even inside the person at all?

The same wasy you get Cyanide into a person without them dying immediately.

Assassins had trouble with cyanide due to the immediate death of the target. So the encapsulated the cyanide in another sustance. This allowsed the subject to consume the cyznide, and once the coating was disolved, the person died.

A similar method could be used for your Caesium.
Personlly, I would surgically implant a large ammount in the chest cavity, then wait for thne fun.

abyaly

10-14-2004, 04:01 PM

Northwind - I doubt your Saran Dogs will hold together after heated and unwrapped. Personally, I wouldnt want to eat them wrapped, frozen, or pureed. The simplest solution of them all, which so many people seem to have overlooked, is to eat the excess hot dogs at a later time.

cs_zero

10-14-2004, 04:04 PM

that would be good aby.....but wasnt the problem that they didnt want to eat them without buns?
( i know what i wanted to say, but i dont think that came out right)

abyaly

10-14-2004, 04:09 PM

Originally posted by cs_zero
that would be good aby.....but wasnt the problem that they didnt want to eat them without buns?
( i know what i wanted to say, but i dont think that came out right) cs_zero, what are you doing here? You eat them at a later time.. that is, after you have more buns.

Frank

10-14-2004, 04:30 PM

Originally posted by Jeffery
The same wasy you get Cyanide into a person without them dying immediately.

Assassins had trouble with cyanide due to the immediate death of the target. So the encapsulated the cyanide in another sustance. This allowsed the subject to consume the cyznide, and once the coating was disolved, the person died.

A similar method could be used for your Caesium.
Personlly, I would surgically implant a large ammount in the chest cavity, then wait for thne fun. The only tricky part is getting the pharmacy to encapsulate it for you. My friend was talking about how a terrorist could take a water balloon or some other container that eventually loosens and opens, filling it with caesium, and flushing it so it destroys either lots of public plumbing or a water treatment facility. My only question is, how are you going to get the caesium?

xyxaxyz2

10-14-2004, 04:41 PM

. (http://www.goodfellow.com/csp/active/gfPDetail.csp?result=1&UpdateParam=1~~)

Jeffery

10-14-2004, 04:54 PM

Originally posted by Frank
The only tricky part is getting the pharmacy to encapsulate it for you. My friend was talking about how a terrorist could take a water balloon or some other container that eventually loosens and opens, filling it with caesium, and flushing it so it destroys either lots of public plumbing or a water treatment facility. My only question is, how are you going to get the caesium?

Trust me, anything can be boughten for the right price.

Aro23r

10-14-2004, 05:19 PM

High school chemistry labs are good places.

cs_zero

10-14-2004, 05:26 PM

Frank is getting more, and more suspisous every time he posts.
Aby: after u bought the eight buns, and eight the 2 hot dogs then u would have 6 buns left. then when u buy 10hot dogs, u woud have 4 extra which is even worse than 2.

Frank

10-14-2004, 05:29 PM

Does anyone else feel the urge to give cs a good smack in the face?

cs_zero

10-14-2004, 05:30 PM

no we dont
as for the capsules, u could just empty a tylonal capsul, and put it in there.

abyaly

10-14-2004, 05:55 PM

Zero, stop posting in this thread.

Anyway, look at xyx's link. There are several people selling it there.

Aro23r

10-14-2004, 06:02 PM

and it's 99.9% pure. Hooah!

cs_zero

10-14-2004, 06:58 PM

no, all my posts are relevant in this thread, so there.

Jeffery

10-14-2004, 07:06 PM

Originally posted by Aro23r
and it's 99.9% pure. Hooah!

I wonder if you cut it with baking powder and cooked it if you could have the newest form of crack????

abyaly

10-14-2004, 07:08 PM

It's somewhat flammable. If you cooked it, you would have the newest form of fire.

Cavour

10-14-2004, 07:12 PM

Originally posted by Frank, then edited to perfection by Cavour
Does anyone else feel the urge to light cs_zero on fire?

Jeffery

10-14-2004, 07:14 PM

Originally posted by abyaly
It's somewhat flammable. If you cooked it, you would have the newest form of fire.

If cooked WRONG you have fire. Cooked right would be a cool new drug.

abyaly

10-14-2004, 07:19 PM

A cool new drug that you could sell at Zombie Stones concerts to burn people (and zombies) from the inside, thus preventing Northwind from taking over the world.

T3km4n

10-14-2004, 07:25 PM

Rob Zombie concerts?

Jeffery

10-14-2004, 07:45 PM

Tek, no offense here. But is that your real picture for your avatar? Cuz thats pretty much what I figure you look like.

T3km4n

10-14-2004, 07:46 PM

Originally posted by Jeffery
Tek, no offense here. But is that your real picture for your avatar? Cuz thats pretty much what I figure you look like. That IS pretty much what I look like, but I have a nose. And I wear makeup.

Don't get me started about your scary clown.

Northwind

10-14-2004, 07:55 PM

Originally posted by abyaly
A cool new drug that you could sell at Zombie Stones concerts to burn people (and zombies) from the inside, thus preventing Northwind from taking over the world. Whose side are you on Aby? You ask for a way to infect the world with zombies and I give it to you. Then you want to stop me???? Fine. I will then invent a sun-proof vampire that will be unstoppable.

Now if I could just figure out how . . . .

Jeffery

10-14-2004, 08:00 PM

Originally posted by Northwind
Whose side are you on Aby? You ask for a way to infect the world with zombies and I give it to you. Then you want to stop me???? Fine. I will then invent a sun-proof vampire that will be unstoppable.

Now if I could just figure out how . . . .

In think the better answer is to simply invent a series of satelites that would expand sails that linked up and blocked all sunlight from reaching the earth to begin with.

Northwind

10-14-2004, 08:05 PM

Ahhh. The Mr. Burns answer.

But then it would be so dark that the vampires couldn't find their way around. Not to mention that it would be hard to get a tan and everyone would go around all pasty and white all the time (well, at least the white people)_

Alright, you want a real pseudo-intellectual discussion? If you could choose only one of the following two superpowers - flying or invisibility - which would you choose and why. Be careful in answer, your choice and reasoning are psychologically revealing.

T3km4n

10-14-2004, 08:07 PM

That is what Tanning Salons are for! On a side note: It is pretty funny, getting my ASB sticker at my school get me 10% off of a fake tan...:rolleyes:

abyaly

10-14-2004, 08:09 PM

Oh? I already had a zombification method thought out before I made this thread. The idea is to let one zombie pirana loose into a school of them. The pirana then zombify all fish that migrate through their river. The fish get eaten by sharks, which get the insides of their mouths bitten. Soon, the entire ocean is full of zombies. Anything that eats fish soon becomes infected (bears, various jungle cats, birds) as long as they get some sort of cut in their mouth while eating the zombie fish (not unreasonable). The bears and jungle cats, which have naturally evolved into hunting machines, make sure that everything from deer to squirrels are infected. Of course, while this goes on, some humans get infected as well, but they don't spread it with anywhere near the efficiency of dumber animals. Once all the edible animals are zombies, you stage various raids on soy growers. After you control the world's supply of soy, people's only source of protien will be the zombie animals. Those that do not become zombies die of malnutrition.

Jeffery

10-14-2004, 08:10 PM

Originally posted by Northwind
Ahhh. The Mr. Burns answer.

But then it would be so dark that the vampires couldn't find their way around. Not to mention that it would be hard to get a tan and everyone would go around all pasty and white all the time (well, at least the white people)_

Alright, you want a real pseudo-intellectual discussion? If you could choose only one of the following two superpowers - flying or invisibility - which would you choose and why. Be careful in answer, your choice and reasoning are psychologically revealing.

Thats easy.

Invisiability- One word reason- Girls Lockerroom.

T3km4n

10-14-2004, 08:12 PM

Invisibility. If you could fly, there is no end to the fame you would get, and therefore you would be killed by someone.

abyaly

10-14-2004, 08:13 PM

Why limit the choice of superpowers? I would want the power to know anything I want the moment I want to. This ability has near infinite uses :cool:

Northwind

10-15-2004, 06:12 AM

Originally posted by abyaly
Why limit the choice of superpowers? I would want the power to know anything I want the moment I want to. This ability has near infinite uses :cool: This is cheating. (Cheater!) You have to choose between the two options given and state your reasoning. I will say that it is a common response to the question for people to immediately start trying to bargain for more and better superpowers. (e.g., If I can fly, would I also be bulleproof, etc.). Flying or invisibility people! Stick to the question! Don't make me come down there and open up a six-pack of whoop-ass on you.

DeadFishGuy

10-15-2004, 07:13 AM

Flight, because of the sheer sense of freedom. And the fact I'm a lazy *bleep*er!:D

However,the fame thing would be kind of inconvenient. I get lots of fame for beatboxing at my school, but it's annoying as hell.
Then there's the assassination thing. Although, if you can fly, you could probably dodge most assassination attempts.

Invisibility will have it's uses too, but are we talking permenant invisibility or the type you can switch on/off at will?

Northwind

10-15-2004, 07:43 AM

hmmm. . . .

Let's say it's just like flying. You can fly when you want to but don't have to fly all of the time. So you can turn invisibility on and off at will. However, the power would not extend to your clothes or non-organic parts of your body. (Which would make piercings, fake hips, and pacemakers inconvenient.)

And for Jeffrey --
Isn't going around invisible in the girl's locker room as pointless as going to a strip club? Isn't that like going to a restaurant and getting to look at the food all you want, but not being allowed to eat it? (Sorry for the sexist objectification of male/female relationships, but thought that analogy worked best.)

Frank

10-15-2004, 07:02 PM

Originally posted by Northwind
And for Jeffrey --
Isn't going around invisible in the girl's locker room as pointless as going to a strip club? Isn't that like going to a restaurant and getting to look at the food all you want, but not being allowed to eat it? (Sorry for the sexist objectification of male/female relationships, but thought that analogy worked best.) NORTHWIND IS G@Y!!!111one Jk. But some people get more out of that than going to a strip club because in the locker room the girls don't know they're being watched, and because it's probably awkward to be in a strip club where everyone can see you while you watch the girls (which is why it's usually darker in the seating areas.)

abyaly

10-15-2004, 08:38 PM

Originally posted by Northwind
This is cheating. (Cheater!) You have to choose between the two options given and state your reasoning. You're only calling it cheating because I am familiar with the question and have deftly dodged your psychological probe :cool:

ArcPaladinZero

10-15-2004, 08:41 PM

I want invisibility. There, probe the crap out of that one.

Cavour

10-15-2004, 09:46 PM

Originally posted by Frank
NORTHWIND IS G@Y!!!111one Jk. But some people get more out of that than going to a strip club because in the locker room the girls don't know they're being watched, and because it's probably awkward to be in a strip club where everyone can see you while you watch the girls (which is why it's usually darker in the seating areas.)
Frank's the authority on skeevy strip clubs. :cool:

Jeffery

10-16-2004, 12:51 AM

Originally posted by Northwind
hmmm. . . .

Let's say it's just like flying. You can fly when you want to but don't have to fly all of the time. So you can turn invisibility on and off at will. However, the power would not extend to your clothes or non-organic parts of your body. (Which would make piercings, fake hips, and pacemakers inconvenient.)

And for Jeffrey --
Isn't going around invisible in the girl's locker room as pointless as going to a strip club? Isn't that like going to a restaurant and getting to look at the food all you want, but not being allowed to eat it? (Sorry for the sexist objectification of male/female relationships, but thought that analogy worked best.)

Let's put it this way. If you are unethical enough to sneak into the locker room, what is to stop you from eating some dinner while there?

DeadFishGuy

10-16-2004, 01:30 AM

Originally posted by Northwind
hmmm. . . .

Let's say it's just like flying. You can fly when you want to but don't have to fly all of the time. So you can turn invisibility on and off at will. However, the power would not extend to your clothes or non-organic parts of your body. (Which would make piercings, fake hips, and pacemakers inconvenient.)

On top of that, you'd have to go around naked, which is a problem if you accidentally deactivated the invisibility.

With that in mind, I'm sticking with flying. Far less inconveniences.

Well, there might be more, but we haven't discovered them yet.

abyaly

10-17-2004, 09:21 AM

Once, on the simpsons, there were a rat and a pigeon with their backs stitched together (they flew into a building, fell, flipped over, and the rat tried to crawl into a hole too small for the pigeon to get through.. very sad animal). What is the best possible combination of animals using this method?
I like the idea of an Owl-Cat. The cat always lands on it's feet, in case of a rough landing. They both eat rats. They both have excellent right vision. The only problem is that the owl might rotate it's it's head around and try to peck at the cat.

Wurtil

10-18-2004, 05:53 PM

The Dark Lord's personal preference would be the Dolphin-Rabbit. Combining the fact that the dolphin is the only proven non-human that enjoys having sex for fun with the simple and elegant time frame of the rabbit's birthing results in a near infinite supply of Dolphin-Rabbit meat to use for anything from minion rations for World Domination to creating a spicy jerky for early morning mountain hikes. Wait, you mean stiched together, not genetically engineered. Hmm, the best stiching pair Wurtil has seen would be the rhino-cockroach. Yes, a strange combination, but by strapping a small nuclear devise to the rhino, you can easily bomb anywhere you please. Naturally, the rhino will die, but the nuclear-enhanced cockroach will provide a sufficient clean-up crew for who or whatever lived through the alpha strike.

Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord,
Wurtil

Northwind

10-18-2004, 07:54 PM

You guys are all thinking too small. How kickass would am elephant/shark be, just trampling and eating everything in sight. What would be scarier than seeing an elephant/shark roaming your neighborhood looking for meat? (Apart from a tyranosaur/shark, but I didn't think that would be fair, because you couldn't actually make one of those, as tyranosaurs typically don't survive the animal amalgamation process.)

abyaly

10-18-2004, 08:32 PM

Well, northwind, stitching animals together doesnt make either able to breath things they normally can't. Your elephant shark wouldn't last long. Here's an idea: TWO turtles! The turtle's only weakness is that it has a hard time getting off of it's back. With two of them stitched together, it would be unstoppable!

Warcow

10-18-2004, 08:35 PM

Originally posted by abyaly
Well, northwind, stitching animals together doesnt make either able to breath things they normally can't. Your elephant shark wouldn't last long. Here's an idea: TWO turtles! The turtle's only weakness is that it has a hard time getting off of it's back. With two of them stitched together, it would be unstoppable!

Which sides would be stitched together? The front or the back? either way its flawed, if you stich their stomachs you get one impenatrable ball of immobility. If you stitch their backs or sides, they are still going to get stuck, and would be even more stuck than before. Therefore this idea is fundamentally flawed

abyaly

10-19-2004, 05:07 AM

No, you stitch them back to back. If it's on it's side, there are still four legs it can use to walk. If it' on their respective ends, then it rolls onto it's side, and it can walk. No matter what you do, you cannot stop it! Well, it's primary weakness is still duct tape. If you manage to duct tape the shells closed, you've beaten it, but not otherwise.

Jeffery

10-19-2004, 05:18 AM

I would like to see a cross between a horse and a police dog.

Cops could ride it, AND make it bite your ass. (Note: I would also sew it shut so it couldn;t take shits)

abyaly

10-21-2004, 07:22 PM

Wouldn't it explode?

ArcPaladinZero

10-21-2004, 09:53 PM

EXPLODE?!?! Here's something intelligent... (http://www.randomimage.us/files/414dd13cd46b1.gif)

Cephas

03-04-2005, 06:45 PM

A skunk/eagle. Just think of the havoc it could wreak upon unsuspecting crowds of shoppers! It also facilitates the zombification of the world, because no one would notice the rancid odours of the zombies, no?

(This thread was too good to let it sit around, especially after NW brought it to my attention)

abyaly

04-18-2005, 07:33 PM

Hi. It's Me. I'm here again, and I have a new, incredibly stupid topic of discussion for us to talk about as if it wasn't completely stupid. Here it goes: (follow along on this, please; and if you have time afterwards, rep me, since I haven't had much chance to stock up -- mostly due to lack of posts)

First, close your eyes.
On second thought, you wont be able to read the rest of this if you close your eyes, so open them if you closed them, and if you were planning to read ahead without following my first instruction, shame on you (even though it was probably for the best).

Ok, first (for real this time), think of a medical condition. Some sort of unfriendly disease or crippling illness.
Think of the name, then put the word 'explosive' right before the name of the condition. It can help if you say it aloud.
My theory is that no matter how bad a disease is, if you put the word 'explosive' before it, it becomes much worse.

Explosive:
Diabetes
Arthritis
Diarrhea
...and many more!

Duffman

04-18-2005, 07:36 PM

Explosive Spontaneous Combustion?

Warcow

04-18-2005, 07:37 PM

abyaly

04-18-2005, 07:52 PM

Explosive Spontaneous Combustion?
Since when is that a medical condition, disease, or crippling illness? That's just a natural phenomenon and it doesn't count. The real pain comes witht he explosive herpes.

Northwind

04-18-2005, 08:52 PM

Hey, it DOES work. And that would explain why I've gone through quite a number of chairs lately, due to my severe care of EXPLOSIVE HEMORRHOIDS. :eek:

Liquid Swordsman

04-18-2005, 08:53 PM

:bad:

dirka dirka

04-18-2005, 09:02 PM

Thats kinda like saying... Adding the prefix mal to a word will make it sound bad....

xerent

04-19-2005, 07:38 AM

It's kind of true.

Malcontent
Malady
Malice (Bad ice? ^^)

Duffman

04-19-2005, 07:42 AM

Malspontaneously combust?

I'll be damned if it isn't included!

abyaly

04-19-2005, 08:30 AM

Duffman

04-19-2005, 09:45 AM

Whereas Explosive Asains....

dirka dirka

04-19-2005, 09:58 AM

Mal means bad. Explosive doesnt mean bad. Saying that to put the word 'bad' in front of another makes it worse is nothing like saying putting the word 'explosive' in front of it makes it worse. 'Explosive' is a perfectly neutral word which gives very negative connotations to medical conditions. Mal is a prefix that means bad.. by the definition of mal, anything that uses that prefix is bad..
Indeed, and by definition explosive is bad. Although it can be used for good, not in a medical standpoint. Therefore what I said holds water. Adding explosive to a medical condition can not be good, same with adding mal.

And....!
Mal + Asian = mal-asian. Malaysian.
The 'Mal' theory fails. Malaysians are not the spawn of satan.
You formed a new word, if looked at in context knowing the prefix mal was used, it sounds bad to me.

Cephas

04-19-2005, 11:05 AM

Hm... Explosive Schitzophrenia? It doesn't seem to lend itself very well to psychological conditions. Explosive ADHD? Can we have another prefix here?

How does the mal thought lend itself to medicine now? Can we substitute mal with explosive? I tend to agree with abyaly here. Malpractice is what happens when a doctor does something wrong (or one of my music students practices in the wrong manner--MUCH more painful, if you ask me!), Explosive Practice is what happens when a suicide bomber drops in for his annual checkup before going to the supermarket, and hits the red button while the doctor is taking his temperature rectally. Ick...

dirka dirka

04-19-2005, 11:12 AM

Medical conditions though..

Mal-Schitzophrenia its almost implied.

AssassinOfLords

04-19-2005, 11:29 AM

Explosive Genital Warts...
Explosive Acne...
Explosive Herpes...
Explosive Syphallis...
Explosive Bone Fracture...
Explosive Chancre...
Explosive Jeffery...
Wow.

dirka dirka

04-19-2005, 11:32 AM

With acne... it may be a good thing, it would go away quicker... that is.

AssassinOfLords

04-19-2005, 11:35 AM

It depends on the size of the explosion. It would also be quite unconveniant to have a pimple explode in the middle of class. Or in the middle of a date.

It would probably be more likely to leave a scar too, which would suck.

dirka dirka

04-19-2005, 11:38 AM

True.

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 05:21 PM

i would like to bump this, one of my favorite threads,

now lets get on the topic of psychology, what do you think is behind the psychology or the difference in the thought patterns of someone labeled as psychotic, vs. someone laveled as normal?

Jeffery

05-16-2005, 05:30 PM

Clinically speaking, the definition of a person as a "psychotic" is due to a difference in their thought processes that prevents them from knowing right from wrong. Some even know what they are doing is wrong, but just don't care.

The essence of not knowing right from wrong is also the basis for the legal defense of "innocent by reason of insanity". But many states are considering changing that plea to "guilt, but circumstances due to insanity" so that peoiple who commit horrible crimes, then claim to be crazy, will not be let back out onto the street after a few years of "normalcy" from treatment.

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 05:37 PM

well take for example, what if there is a situation deemed wrong by society, commited for a right reason, would he still be considered psychotic for performing the wrong act because he knew it was wrong, but benefited himself or someone else? or would it be ok because it was with reason?

Realist

05-16-2005, 05:42 PM

What crimes occur for reasons other than "difference in thought processes that prevents knowing right from wrong"?

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 05:44 PM

it depends on the severity of the psychotic episode, sometimes murdre rape, some times beatings, or petty theft

edit: i though you were saying something else, well it depends, people will do things to see if they can get away with it, i wouldnt call that psychotic, example, 4.6 gpa eagle scout senior in central WI two years ago murdered a man who lived alone and had little family to see if he could get away with it, its not psychotic that is a god complex where they think they can do anything

Jeffery

05-16-2005, 05:44 PM

Shoplifting occurs (mostly) when a person knows it is wrong, but does not care.
Speeding occurs when people know it is wrong, and don;t care.

Most crimes occur when someone knows it is wrong, but think they can get away with it anyway. there is a difference betweenthat and not knowing the difference between right and wrong.

TheBlazedAce

05-16-2005, 05:44 PM

What crimes occur for reasons other than "difference in thought processes that prevents knowing right from wrong"?

Why do you think pleading insanity is such common practice?

Realist

05-16-2005, 05:47 PM

If one truly knows the difference between right and wrong, they will not do wrong. People only do wrong when they think they are justified in whatever way they justify themselves. All crime, therefore, is "psychotic" to a certain degree by Jeffery's definition--the only difference being the extent to which the criminal's views of right and wrong differ from society's.

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 05:49 PM

incorrect, alot of people as jeffrey stated know the difference but do not follow it, some people actually do not know what is right and wrong, because they werent raised to know, they are incapable mentally, (retardation) or soforth

Realist

05-16-2005, 05:55 PM

No one who knows the difference between right and wrong does not follow it.

The justification can be "it gives me pleasure" or the justification could simply be that your mind thinks in a different way than most people, but people always think that what they are doing is right at the time that they are doing it, or they wouldn't do it.

People are not intentionally and purposelessly evil.

Northwind

05-16-2005, 06:02 PM

Being found "not guilty by reason of insanity" is actually extremely rare. Different states have different standards of "legally insane," though an inability to distinguish between right and wrong is the most common.

Not that anyone's asking, but I find the idea of "guilty but insane" to be absurd. "Insane" means that they were not able to rationally act (they were literally "out of their mind"). How would it be remotely fair to hold someone criminally responsible for actions when they did not have control over their actions? That would be like convicting a baby of murder if he accidentally pushed a radio into a bathtub and electrocuted his mother. She still died, but would it be fair to say that the baby had an ability to understand the gravity of the situation?

Did anyone else notice that this thread started off with a fascinating and thoughtful discussion of zombie breeding and has now degenerated into . . . an actual intellectual discussion? Shame on you people! :nono:

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 06:04 PM

well example have you ever wondered, " should i really be doing this"
that is an example of not knowing, which brings about an inquiry, if you choose to ignore it you could be very well commiting what you are defining a psychotic episode but that is also the conscience if someone does not consult themself with such a question when they wonder can be considered not knowing

sub the hendrix

05-16-2005, 06:04 PM

Being found "not guilty by reason of insanity" is actually extremely rare.
Not in Hollywood!

Realist

05-16-2005, 06:15 PM

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 06:17 PM

if you question yourself about an act, that is an example of not knowing, or being unsure, short easy

Realist

05-16-2005, 06:18 PM

Different states have different standards of "legally insane," though an inability to distinguish between right and wrong is the most common.

"Insane" means that they were not able to rationally act (they were literally "out of their mind")...they did not have control over their actions

How are these definitions equivilant?

Northwind

05-16-2005, 06:27 PM

How are these definitions equivilant?
Actually, you're right. I sort of reverted to the other main definition of "insane." Sorry. Still, the basic idea is that someone is either not capable intellectually or is unable to control their actions. Either way, you can make a good case for the fact that they are not able to rationally decide on a moral (or, more to the point, legal) action.

And the idea of "justification" is different from the idea of being unable to tell right from wrong. If I steal a car because I lost my job and need the money, I might be able to rationalize that I have made a reasonable decision given the circumstances, but I will know that it is the "wrong" thing to do (i.e., I will understand that my actions are illegal and that I could get in trouble if I get caught). An "insane" person might simply see the car and take it without thinking that it is 1) wrong to steal or 2) that he might be arrested for doing so.

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 06:28 PM

im not sure, its almost a paradox, (fun thread) it makes sense, but it also contradicts itself, i think he is explaining under law, different states charge people differently on an insanity claim, while the dictionary definition of insane is that

savanna

05-16-2005, 06:30 PM

why wouldnt we have some attack pigmes thrown in with the zombies? not having the odd creatures would SURELY be uncanny.

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 06:33 PM

oddly random *hug* i like you

wr4th4

05-16-2005, 06:37 PM

why wouldnt we have some attack pigmes thrown in with the zombies? not having the odd creatures would SURELY be uncanny.

Err, I have to ask, savanna, what in the world is your fascination with pygmies? and your nasty habit of spelling pygmy wrong

Realist

05-16-2005, 06:37 PM

Northwind,

I think the most important point you made were the stuff you put in parenthesis; i.e, that its not an ability to distinguish right from wrong that matters but an ability to distinguish what is legal from what is illegal.

Yeah, that makes sense.

savanna

05-16-2005, 06:43 PM

Err, I have to ask, savanna, what in the world is your fascination with pygmies? and your nasty habit of spelling pygmy wrong

awe, there is nothing wrong with pigmes, and they are awesome. but, i spell it pigme, not pygmy.. ;)

oddly random *hug* i like you
thanks, i needed one. i am always random.

Liquid Swordsman

05-16-2005, 06:48 PM

thanks, i needed one. i am always random.

There is a difference between random and annoying spam.

savanna

05-16-2005, 06:49 PM

yes, there is. your posts are.. annoying spam?

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 06:49 PM

it wasnt that bad, i think the worst was cheats fake goodbye thread, that was bad

Liquid Swordsman

05-16-2005, 06:49 PM

yes, there is. your posts are.. annoying spam?

Yes, all those posts I've been making as of late.

savanna

05-16-2005, 06:51 PM

ah, rep for you LS!

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 07:50 PM

back on intellectual subjects

revert to an old thread, can christianity be considered a monotheistic religion?

xerent

05-16-2005, 07:58 PM

back on intellectual subjects

revert to an old thread, can christianity be considered a monotheistic religion?
I have thoughts on the issue. But first tell me:

Why does it matter?

Realist

05-16-2005, 07:59 PM

Yeah, it just depends on how you want to define monotheistic. Arguing over definitions is stupid because it doesn't actually mean anything.

roamingstorm

05-16-2005, 08:12 PM

a religion that believes in only one supreme being

its interesting to get other points of view, if you think about the cycle of progress, progress is hard to make with first a complication, if it is good why try to change it, if you have been proven wrong, then you can adapt with the help of someone else

Cephas

05-17-2005, 10:22 AM

That makes two topics in a row that do not belong in this thread. Debating whether Christianity is monotheistic belongs in the thread of almost the same name, or in the religious debate thread, not here. Discussion of psychosis, as NW stated, is not the realm of the intellectual discussion thread.

Now, if we assumed that macro-evolution was a reality (not up for debate here), and further assumed that while humans didn't evolve but maintained status quo for the next million years; which group of animals would give the humans the greatest run for their money in the dominion of the earth, and why?

I'll try to post my opinion later on...

Northwind

05-17-2005, 11:14 AM

Cephas –

Pfft. That one’s so easy, it’s not even worth my time. It is clearly squirrels. Had squirrels been born with even the tiniest bit more of intelligence, we would be toiling under their cruel whips while working night and day in the acorn mines.

Think about it. Have you ever tried to keep a squirrel out of something? It can’t be done. (Just ask Moko). They can climb up or down any obstacle and even cling to bare walls (I’ve seen them scampering over stucco walls like Snork at a buffet). They can solve any puzzle before them, and can even climb a thin pole that has been greased with Vaseline (failed plan #302). Were their brains the teensiest more acute, we would be worshipping our squirrel overlords and praying for death to come quickly to end our hellish existence.

To add to their terror, they are virtually hollow inside. How do I know this? I was once visiting a friend at the University of Florida when a squirrel climbed the screens on the outside of the windows of the room. He then began peeing through the screen and into the room. The volume of urine contained in that tiny animal was astonishing! That squirrel peed more than Hugh after he (slowly) drank a six-pack of beer. Think of the weapons or explosives they could store in there!

Truly, we are one mutated gene away from being the dogs of the squirrel dominion. I don’t know about you, but I don’t fancy fetching squirrel newspapers with my mouth and endlessly playing that stupid “I’m throwing the ball for you . . . oh wait, I didn’t actually throw it and yet you started to run anyway!” game. Death to squirrels before they get the chance to take over!

Repeat after me: “We’re here! We’re queer! We don’t want anymore squirrels!”

sub the hendrix

05-17-2005, 11:24 AM

Just because they can climb stuff doesn't mean they would overpower the Bighorn Sheep. Now those things can climb, AND they have big horns. Honestly, where would you place your bet in a fight?

Devlin777

05-17-2005, 11:32 AM

I'd put my money on the squirrels, since they'd have numbers and could hide up in trees and camp (it's a legitimage strategy)

But you're both wrong, Humans would find themselves enslaved by giant rats (or maybe raccoons, those things are nasty)

xerent

05-17-2005, 11:34 AM

Dolphins already possess much more intellect than squirrles, and are in fact only one opposable thumb away from COMPLETE world dominion, both above ground, and in thier deep, watery secret lairs, which were quite planned for construction several millenea ago, but construction was halted due to a lack of building permits.

This threw the Dolphin race into a catch 22, as they could not obtain a building permit without a building permit office, and could not build a building permit office without a biulding permit. Now they work tirelessly on evolving the opposable thumb to take control of our pre-existing building permit offices.

Quickly! We must burn the beaurocracy! Prevent hostile takeover!

Devlin777

05-17-2005, 11:37 AM

Exactly what would that thumb oppose?

"Snorky make man talk now" ~ Snorky, King of the Dolphins on the Simpsons

sub the hendrix

05-17-2005, 11:49 AM

Godmic18

05-17-2005, 12:10 PM

But opposable don't solve the problem of where would they build the permit office? Certainly not underwater, everyone knows you can't build a permit office underwater, it's against zoning regulations. But they can't bulid it on land, because a human zoner would never give a permit to a *shudder, snort, patronize* Dolphin!

No, colleagues, I don't think Dolphins pose much of a threat at all

Are you kidding?

I'm fairly certain the Dolphins hired out the entire race of Panda bears to build and run their zoning office..

That's right. Panda bears.

Hence the reason they are so scarce. They are all living and working in an evil underground volcano layer for the benefit of the dolphins. The squirrels are just working for the bears. They act as spies and assassins.

Build your bunkers now, humans!!! The age of the dolphins approaches!!!

Cephas

05-17-2005, 01:08 PM

I think we're not taking into account the underdogs of the animal kingdom here, people. The problem is, you are all thinking in a manner that is simply two dimensional. As animals evolve (again, not up for debate), is the only thing that will change intelligence? I think xerent is proceeding along the right vein when he brings up the feverish effort on the part of the dolphins to evolve opposable digits.

What else, on a hypothetical evolutionary scale, might change? They might develop intelligence (let's assume for the purposes of intellectual discussion that it won't go beyond human intellect--not too difficult these days), perhaps they will grow opposable digits, or become massive in size. Try not to limit yourselves people, what remains the same is traits and characteristics.

Cats could dominate, they already do.

Ants would have a good run for things considering the non-stop work.

Just about any animal species that is led by females would be able to dominate mankind...

...
...

We're in trouble! :eek:

sub the hendrix

05-17-2005, 01:33 PM

Are you kidding?

I'm fairly certain the Dolphins hired out the entire race of Panda bears to build and run their zoning office..

That's right. Panda bears.

Hence the reason they are so scarce. They are all living and working in an evil underground volcano layer for the benefit of the dolphins. The squirrels are just working for the bears. They act as spies and assassins.

Build your bunkers now, humans!!! The age of the dolphins approaches!!
Pandas obviously are not smart, because they allowed themselves to become endangered.

Would you trust them to build something?

doubledown

05-17-2005, 02:41 PM

Actually in all seriousness, the next evolved species is already here.
The Humanzee http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/ethics/2005-04-30-chimera-research_x.htm
Human intelligence with the ability to crush a man's skull in the palm of his hand.
If you arent already sucking up to your local man/animal hybrid....now is the time.

The Cheat

05-17-2005, 03:03 PM

Godmic18

05-17-2005, 03:57 PM

Pandas obviously are not smart, because they allowed themselves to become endangered.

Would you trust them to build something?

No they're not. The smart ones all migrated to underwater cities. They left their weak and slow behind.

roamingstorm

05-17-2005, 06:55 PM

i think the smartest and most devious of all animals are

be afraid (http://www.cats.alpha.pl/funny/goldie1.jpg)

Be very afraid (http://www.techimo.com/photo/data/500/1116cat-med.jpg)

Devlin777

05-17-2005, 08:16 PM

What about artificial intelligence? "Demon Seed", HAL, ..um...Bender! People, we're fighting the wrong war (again!)

Demonic_Rabbit

05-17-2005, 08:19 PM

Cats, there sneaky, have nine lives, and always land on their feet. they'll eat the dolphins then who would the pandas rely on not the squirrels. They're natural predators

Godmic18

05-17-2005, 08:21 PM

Cats, there sneaky, have nine lives, and always land on their feet. they'll eat the dolphins then who would the pandas rely on not the squirrels. They're natural predators

Cats can't fly. :cool:

EDIT: Also, the smart Pandas are armed. They only rely on Dolphins for food. Thos ecats would get lazered from above AND below.

Demonic_Rabbit

05-17-2005, 08:23 PM

No but if they get into a fight with a squirrel in a tree and falls of who lands on their feet.

Godmic18

05-17-2005, 08:25 PM

No but if they get into a fight with a squirrel in a tree and falls of who lands on their feet.

Dolphins don't have feet. They just gotta land on the cat's feet. :cool:

And they can fly.

Dove

05-17-2005, 08:35 PM

Dolphins don't have feet. They just gotta land on the cat's feet. :cool:

And they can fly.

Whoa. Deeeeeeeeeeep...
:confused:

Devlin777

05-17-2005, 08:36 PM

Whoa. Deeeeeeeeeeep...
:confused:

So deep, I gotta put my boots on! ;)

Godmic18

05-17-2005, 08:40 PM

So deep, I gotta put my boots on! ;)

Those won't save you. :wacko:

Northwind

05-17-2005, 09:02 PM

People, people! What in the world are you talking about? Bighorn sheep, dolphins, pandas, cats? Please.

The squirrel is indisputably on deck to become the next dominant species. Let’s say the mutation happened and squirrels suddenly equaled humans in intelligence. We are then completely screwed. Where are you gonna go? What hiding place can you imagine that a squirrel would not immediately penetrate? The can climb Anything. An-Y-Thing! No foxhole, no high rise, no reinforced bunker would be safe from their infestation.

Their nimble hands can grasp any squirrel-sized tool and use it to make incredible tiny and complicated devices of human destruction. They have their own built-in Air Force. Have none of you heard of flying squirrels? Think of a few dozen of those babies, filled with explosives, kamikazying themselves into our cars, houses, tanks, and aircraft carriers. Our weapons are made to fight people-sized targets, not tiny squirrel-sized ones. In the unlikely event that you could get a bead and take out one super-intelligent squirrel, how long do you think you have before you are overcome by hundreds of her compadres?

Oh ho ho! Laugh all you want at the crazy Northwind as he prophesizes your doom. Shrug him off like some loon you see poking around the bins at the Salvation Army. Mark my words! I’ll have the last laugh when I see you squirming helplessly under a pile of enraged furballs as they claw the arteries out of your neck!

And the dolphins? Come on. Dolphins are so disorganized they couldn’t put together a simple PowerPoint presentation on the superiority of water-based life forms. (And even if they could, their computers would keep shorting out in the water.) No, my friends, we have nothing to fear from the pathetic dolphin.

All hail the coming domination of the squirrel! Make way for the golden age of the tree-dwelling rodent! Bow before them or be destroyed like a trailer before a hurricane!

(I have a suspicion, however, that they might be able to be bribed by the sacrifice of unfettered access to the bird feeder. It just might be the thing that saves humanity. Plus, they do tend to chase each other around and around the trees. Maybe they’ll be too busy to take over the earth as long as we provide them with sunflower seeds and plenty of trees.) Sunflower seeds and trees all around! It is our only hope.

Krome

05-18-2005, 09:49 AM

I don't think I should really post here as I am a bit dumb and cannot talk intellectually.

Lord Shinok

05-18-2005, 10:02 AM

I don't think I should really post here as I am a bit dumb and cannot talk intellectually.
Then don't post! :p

Krome

05-18-2005, 02:31 PM

That is what I said didn't I?

Jeffery

05-18-2005, 02:49 PM

All of you have taken a thread about intelligent thinking, and proved that you do very little, if any, of it.

Congratulations.

X-Takhisis

05-18-2005, 03:55 PM

I agree with NorthWind but u guys forgot about cockroaches ( sorry about anny misspelling, i suck at spelling). They are supposed to be the only spicies to survive a nuclear exlposion. If they got mutated and had human intelegence they could kill us all in like 10 minutes. They could slip into a nuclear base and nuce all the other nuclear bases and therefore kill everything but themselves. This is why cockroaches could totally dominate us all and no ammount of trees and sunflowers could save us

Lord Shinok

05-18-2005, 07:48 PM

That is what I said didn't I?
Why bother telling us that you don't think you'd post in this thread (which you did) as you are a bit dumb and can't talk intellectually? That doesn't make any sense at all, if you don't think you should post in this thread, then don't? You didn't have to tell us? :dry:

roamingstorm

05-18-2005, 08:27 PM

i say *insert intelligent speech here*

in conclusion *intelligent conclusion*

any questions?

X-Takhisis

05-19-2005, 07:35 AM

Krome

05-19-2005, 03:15 PM

Well duh !!!

xerent

05-19-2005, 03:35 PM

Long winded post <here>

Oh come come! Listen not to this fool and his fool-speak. His prophetical times can never be. I invite you, friends, to view the almighty dolphin as your new lord and masters, for it is only a matter of time before they rise and defeat our mightiest bastions!

I now unviel their ultimate plan of world conquest! Global Warming!

Oh yes! For quite some time now our underwater lords have been leaving secret plans of coal operated power plants, gasoline powered automobiles, and farting cows underneath the pillows of select individuals of the human race. While we go about depleting our ozone, we give precious acres of land to their cause.

The squirrels may have provided some resistance, but alas... they cannot swim.

All hail the mighty Flipper!

Cephas

05-19-2005, 05:33 PM

For all of the debate, I think my dreams have some bearing on this. I dreamed a few nights ago about a pair of baby squirrels, and they were totally dominating me. They kept nibbling on my fingers (ouch!) and escaping traps that I set for them. It had all the appeal of a warner brother's cartoon from the '80s. Hm... Maybe I need to write one...

All hail the squirrel overlords!

X-Takhisis

05-19-2005, 05:47 PM

you are all wrong. It would be so easy for a cockroach to penetrate a government missile base and set them all off. They can even use humans and other larget animalls for shells for there eggs and then there will be a little cockroach in all of us. We will transport them into all the high security areas with out us even knowing about it. The only way to stop them is to squish them and there are way too manny of them to stop as soon as they get orginised. The only way to stop them now is not to let them hear about thier abillity to surbibe a nuclear explosion

Serge

05-19-2005, 08:04 PM

All hail the mighty Fungi! No _animal_ nor plant could possibly be the rightful heirs to the planet. Nay! The Fungi shall envelop all! Too long have they decomposed our wastes, soon they will decompose us and finally complete the circle of life!

Godmic18

05-19-2005, 08:20 PM

Northwind

05-19-2005, 08:47 PM

I'll admit xerent, you had me worried there. I had neglected the dolphin's insidious "global warming' plan which not only increases the amount of earth's surface covered by water, but also makes squirrels quite hot with their little furry coats. I truly underestimated the dolphin. I will not do this again.

That being said, however, squirrels will still inherit the earth and its treasures.

First, squirrels live in trees. They can easily climb them if the waters rise.

Second, dolphins lack hands. Thus, no matter how intelligent they are, they will be unable to construct factories and machines necessary for acquisition of land-based powers.

However, squirrels do lack fluid swimming abilities and will be nearly useless in the water. The only answer here is that squirrels and dolphins will work out some sort of power-sharing arrangement in which squirrels have dominion on terra firma while dolphins reign supreme on terra wetta.

Thus, there will be no place for use humans to hide.

*bows to the new rulers of Planet Dolphirrels*

(I am a bit worried about the cockroaches. What can be done about them?)

Hugh Junit

05-19-2005, 11:08 PM

(I am a bit worried about the cockroaches. What can be done about them?)

To put it bluntly, nothing.
They can survive both land and sea.
Any terrain.
Any temperature.
Global Warming? They'll huddle in cracks and laugh while the rest of the world's creatures squirm like slugs in the sun. Ozone Layer? They'd rather we didn't have one. A security blanket, necessary only to the survival of the puny, lesser races.
They are simply waiting, biding their time. These miniature monsters are more cunning, resourceful, intelligent and hungry ( for total world power and domination ) than we will ever know.
That is, until it's too late....

*checks cupboards*

X-Takhisis

05-20-2005, 12:02 AM

To put it bluntly, nothing.
They can survive both land and sea.
Any terrain.
Any temperature.
Global Warming? They'll huddle in cracks and laugh while the rest of the world's creatures squirm like slugs in the sun. Ozone Layer? They'd rather we didn't have one. A security blanket, necessary only to the survival of the puny, lesser races.
They are simply waiting, biding their time. These miniature monsters are more cunning, resourceful, intelligent and hungry ( for total world power and domination ) than we will ever know.
That is, until it's too late....

*checks cupboards*

finally somewon gets it. cockroaches will rule all and there is no ammount of planing u can do about it. The only way to kill them all is to fill the air with raid but that will also kill all air breathers and polute the water killing the dolphins. The squirls will die allong with the humans and other air breathers. So there is no way to kill them. And if u are thinking of gass masks they can take refuge in a human who does hav one and share the hoste and plug the holes with flesh untill the raid is gone.

sub the hendrix

05-20-2005, 10:10 PM

(I am a bit worried about the cockroaches. What can be done about them?)
Nothing, unfortuanetly.

Of course, maybe we can try and outlast the little buggers. I'm sure that's quite a solid strategy.

Oh, wait... :eek:

I think this guy has it right: Click (http://www.astonishingtales.com/thought/cockroaches.html)

X-Takhisis

05-20-2005, 11:03 PM

yes but he left out the part when the cockroaches decide to take over the world and creat the atomic halacost and make a deal with the space vampires that they can hav earth in exchange for a smaller less important world because lets face it. Why would the cockroaches need a huge planet lik earth. All they need is to be transported to venus or even well i do not want to say it because i will spell it wrong but u get my point.

bullcat0

05-22-2005, 01:04 AM

Yes, We better watch out for those roaches we may try and blow them up and just kill our selves. :p

X-Takhisis

05-22-2005, 01:07 AM

hey bullcat good to see u on the forums

Northwind

05-26-2005, 12:23 PM

X-Takhisis

05-26-2005, 09:38 PM

No matter of festering apendages will save the dolphend from the cockroaches.

sub the hendrix

05-26-2005, 10:09 PM

I think that those arguing for dolphins (http://theonion.com/slideshow/index.php?show=7&slide=5&issue=4121) are probably laughing their heads off right now. Go ahead and laugh! You'll die along with the rest of us!
That's just a load of crock. Everyone knows the media, especially the "renowned" news journal The Onion, has long been controlled by "finned elitists" who would like us to beleive such nonsense.

Honestly, next time try a real news source, like Fox.

X-Takhisis

05-26-2005, 10:25 PM

All the media is controled by the cockroaches. They do not want you to know about them because they are hideing in the shadows and waiting for the right time to unleash thier small brown furry.

oh and p.s If the squrals do rebel, thier leader will be foamy. The cockroaches can easly take him out. They will take over the beggal and cream cheas industry and drive him insane. Without thier leader they will be dissorginised and vonarable and will easlly be taken out.

p.s.s And the dolphens. HA do not make me laugh. For years the roaches hav left plans to produce billions of tons of waste and despose it into the ocean and thusfor poluting the ocean. It may cause deformation like the thumbs but still, they will soon fall and leave the roaches to rule.

KBHoleN1

05-27-2005, 08:35 AM

All the media is controlled by the cockroaches. They do not want you to know about them because they are hid-ing in the shadows and waiting for the right time to unleash thier small brown fu-ry.

oh and p.s. If the squirrels do rebel, thier leader will be foamy. The cockroaches can easily take him out. They will take over the bagel and cream cheese industry and drive him insane. Without thier leader they will be disorganized and vulnerable and will easily be taken out.

p.s.s. And the dolphins. HA do not make me laugh. For years the roaches have left plans to produce billions of tons of waste and dispose it into the ocean and therefore polluting the ocean. It may cause deformation like the thumbs but still, they will soon fall and leave the roaches to rule.

Birthday:
September 30, 1990

I think a 14 year-old should be able to spell "cheese." Please, if you can't spell, use a dictionary, or try for single-syllable words.

LondonJack

05-27-2005, 08:49 AM

*gives KBHoleN1 a gold star for his tireless efforts in the war on improper spelling and grammar*

Wear it proudly son, you've earned it :*pioneer:

Cephas

05-27-2005, 09:11 AM

*Takes away KBHoleN1's star*

He missed correcting the p.s.s. PS stands for post script, therefore PSS stands for post script script, a phrase nearly as nonsensical as LJ. It should have been changed to PPS, for post post script, as in the script that comes after the post script...

Do I get a star now? :dry:

LondonJack

05-27-2005, 09:24 AM

no, but you can have the rest of this bag of M&M's if you want it

KBHoleN1

05-27-2005, 09:29 AM

Sorry Cephas, I was limited to 17 corrections per post, and that would have taken me over my limit :bigsmile: .

But you can't take away my star, I already ate it.

sub the hendrix

05-28-2005, 01:40 AM

Sorry Cephas, I was limited to 17 corrections per post, and that would have taken me over my limit :bigsmile: .

But you can't take away my star, I already ate it.
Now, what if everyone else wishes to eat a star?

With my basic knowledge of the laws of economics, I would conclude that since there are far more stars in the universe than people, a dramatic price-war would ensue between the providers of edible stars.

The bottom would fall out of the market, and mayhem would ensue. Only one provider of stars would be left, and, having a complete monopoly on the star market, this provider would jack up prices. However, the provider would overestemate the inelasticity of the demand for stars, and no consumer would be able to pay the outrageous price, much less want to. By this time stars would be completely pase.

Life would continue as normal, except that a large chunk of stars from the vicinity of Alpha Centuri would no longer be present, and the constelation Orion would be missing a leg and his bow.

All because you had to go and eat that star. :nono: *tisk*

sub the hendrix

05-28-2005, 03:47 PM

Double post bump.

X-Takhisis

05-28-2005, 04:10 PM

Can we get back to the animals?

sub the hendrix

05-28-2005, 04:13 PM

Can we get back to the animals?
No. Economics is more fun. And nice spelling on that post, no editing or anything. I'm proud.

Inigo

05-28-2005, 08:31 PM

First since I joined in late I'd like to at least mention the zombie world order...
I think we've been misled into thinking that zombies mass produce based on some sort of molecular level. It may be possible that some sort of malevolent spiritual possesion comes into play. If this is the case then determining the root of transferrence would be difficult to the average person. Also, it puts a damper on creating our first zombie from scratch. Oh well..

Now to a more recent train of thought. Squirrels are the children of the Anti-Christ and should be treated as such. They shall never be allowed to survive! Death to the squirrels!!! In truth I try to destroy the little mogrel demons at every opportunity. I have successfully rid the world of 27.

Has anyone thought of the fact that global warming may be caused by human beings directly? Meaning, not that we accidently punched a hole in the ozone, but that there are 5 billion people on the planet. Think about it; 5 billion little furnaces all pumping out 98.6 degrees of heat.

X-Takhisis

05-28-2005, 10:47 PM

No. Economics is more fun. And nice spelling on that post, no editing or anything. I'm proud.

So is everyone in agreement that the cockroaches is the moste lickely animal to rule the world? Becuase if you are then I am glad that everyone got the point.

And thank you Sub the Hendrix

sub the hendrix

06-10-2005, 10:47 PM

So is everyone in agreement that the cockroaches is the moste lickely animal to rule the world? Becuase if you are then I am glad that everyone got the point.

And thank you Sub the Hendrix
Bump.

And if by subtly capitalizing my name, you intend to prove me a hypocrite, it is obvious to me that you do not understand the subtle cultural crytique involved in the highly conscious decision to spell my name in all lower-case. To anyone with an intellectually developed cranium it is obvious that I am completely bulshitting this response.

Have a nice day.

Catra

06-10-2005, 10:55 PM

I have often found myself wondering if you intentionally did not capitalize your name. Now I know the answer to a question long pondered. Thank you.

And I, for one, find your use of a thesaurus quite amusing sub the hendrix.

Realist

06-11-2005, 05:29 AM

And I, for one, find your use of a thesaurus quite amusing sub the hendrix.

If he was using a thesaurus he'd spell the words right.

BlackSyphon

06-11-2005, 09:16 AM

Hahaha...that was a nice follow up Realist... I expect no less from Catra though :)

du

sub the hendrix

06-11-2005, 10:21 PM

If he was using a thesaurus he'd spell the words right.
Seeing as the response was directed at X-taxhisis, by mispelling a few words, I was simply communicating in a form that he could easily understand. I regret any implication that either I needed a thesaurus, or that I did anything but intentionally misspell the words.

22woger22

06-11-2005, 10:22 PM

Seeing as the response was directed at X-taxhisis, by mispelling a few words, I was simply communicating in a form that he could easily understand. I regret any implication that either I needed a thesaurus, or that I did anything but intentionally misspell the words.
*checks thesaurus and dictionary* Nope, didn't do anything wrong, sub :p

Dove

06-11-2005, 10:25 PM

The first "mispell" only has one "s". The second has two.

EDIT: I like you sub :)

22woger22

06-11-2005, 10:26 PM

The first "mispell" only has one "s". The second has two.
I need to get a better dictionary :p

sub the hendrix

06-11-2005, 10:33 PM

The first "mispell" only has one "s". The second has two.

EDIT: I like you sub :)
I know. That was the joke Dove. Thanks for ruining it. :rolleyes:

Dove

06-11-2005, 10:36 PM

Dang, my mistake. Indeed, my corrections have gotten in the way.

Nice work of irony though, misspelling "misspell". I give it an easy A.

P.S. It's two "s"s which I actually messed up on myself. Oooooops...

Catra

06-13-2005, 06:43 PM

*ahem*

I am sorry good sire, I did not mean to imply you did not have the intellect to come up with that by yourself, so let me retract my previous statement and for the record:

And I, for one, find your use of vocabulary quite amusing sub the hendrix.

sub the hendrix

06-14-2005, 04:55 PM

Northwind

10-19-2005, 10:44 AM

Looks like Abyaly's zombie creation plan must be working (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41676).

cuckoo

10-19-2005, 10:51 AM

"Children need to be taught from preschool that they might have to put a bullet between the eyes of their own undead mother," Fulci said. "'Destroy The Brain' banners should be hung above the entrances of schools, churches, and town halls everywhere."

Cornelius recommends that Pittsburgh residents prepare a "go-bag" containing a Glock 17 pistol and 50 rounds of ammunition. If leaving the house is not an option, Cornelius advises residents to barricade all first-story doors and windows, and have at least one method of suicide prepared, should zombies successfully breach the home.

I can bet there will be some people who take that part a bit too seriously.

Office_Shredder

10-19-2005, 10:57 AM

50 rounds of ammunition and a pistol? Go to Arkansas, I bet everyone's got a pair of shotguns and a closet full of shells

Sounds like they don't want you to be prepared enough in Pittsburgh.... makes you wonder whose side Cornelius is really on

green97sierra

10-19-2005, 12:05 PM

... i hate you all... my mom died of a horrible zombification expirement gone wrong. she was supposed to be the very first zombie. but she had an allergic reaction to mold and sneezed herself to death.

Jeffery

10-19-2005, 12:21 PM

Yeah, but that happened before you were born, so it shouldn't have mattered THAT much to you. Yes, she died before you were born. We know the truth.

dirka dirka

10-19-2005, 01:02 PM

Intellectual Dicussion? I think not!! Not as long as I'm alive!

Cephas

10-20-2005, 07:50 AM

Intellectual Dicussion? I think not!! Not as long as I'm alive!
If you are incapable of engaging in intellectual discussion of the topics at hand, then feel free to go elsewhere.

Now, I intimated to Northwind that I had some startling news to share for discussion here, and he has nicely set the stage for this (dance, my puppet, DANCE!). But first, some background.

I was having an email discussion with a friend and we came to some startling realizations. He is a writer, and stated that he 'fully intend[ed] to stop writing... shortly after [he was] dead and buried.' That brought to mind that when a composer dies, he decomposes, so I asked him what happened to a writer.

The response was that while alive, a writer is misquoted, but dead, a writer is edited. (Apparently, something like being audited, but more painful.)

Here's where the conversation turned to what is important for us:

I proceeded to misquote and edit his statement, and inferred that since he was both misquoted and edited, he must be partially alive and partially dead, therefore making him the living dead.

Following the irrefutable logic of Cephas, he came to understand that misquoted edits explain some of the vampires around. Zombies are obviously misquoted and edited songwriters, they're decomposing after all!

We continued by examining artists (paint, etc), and concluded that if someone stole an artists work by copying it, it would be like stealing his soul, making him a wraith.

Ghouls feed on flesh, making them plagarizers, he reasoned. Further on that though, the music industry is ripe with plagary, which explains all of the brain-eating zombies.

To recapitulate, here is what we've discovered:

Undead Writers - Vampires
Undead Composers - Zombies
Undead Composers who Plagarize - Brain-Feasting Zombies
Artists (painters, sculpters, etc) - Ghouls
Plagarizers - Ghouls

Can anyone add to the list? I'm curious to see if we can determine the true origin of all undead beings...

Walrus

10-20-2005, 07:59 AM

hello chaps, i was just in passage from within my automobile and my eyes glimpsed upon this absolutely spiffing thread. top hat i say! i would dearly regret however, if the ferrero rocher's supply has been diminished, one is utterly ravanous.

dirka dirka

10-20-2005, 11:43 AM

If you are incapable of engaging in intellectual discussion of the topics at hand, then feel free to go elsewhere.

... you've got to be kidding me. Judging from that post, right back at ya.

Pyromaster

10-20-2005, 03:16 PM

Hey wazzup. Ive jus joined this thread so sum1 update me

Godmic18

10-20-2005, 05:10 PM

Intellectual Dicussion? I think not!! Not as long as I'm alive!

Wait, are we having an intellectual discussion or are we discussing intellectuals?

dirka dirka

10-20-2005, 05:11 PM

Wait, are we having an intellectual discussion or are we discussing intellectuals?
The second.

Cephas

10-20-2005, 06:42 PM

... you've got to be kidding me. Judging from that post, right back at ya.
Your arrogance is only exceeded by your ignorance. Before you deign to post in a thread and share your incapacity to comprehend the nature of the thread with everyone, be so good as to make an effort to understand it. Allow me to offer you a hand, this is the very first thing written in the thread:
This thread is dedicated to trying to have intellectual discussions about completely stupid topics.
I honestly don't understand what your problem is. Everywhere you go, you insist that you are right and everyone who holds another view is wrong. You seem to think that you are absolutely incapable of wrong in thought, word and deed. Reality check here, you are not infallible, and your attitude is simply annoying.

I fully expect you will go on to rant and try to justify yourself as you have done in the past, and honestly, I probably won't even bother to read it, and there is even less chance that I will respond. I have expended far too much effort on trying to teach a churlish whelp manners already.

dirka dirka

10-20-2005, 06:44 PM

Your arrogance is only exceeded by your ignorance. Before you deign to post in a thread and share your incapacity to comprehend the nature of the thread with everyone, be so good as to make an effort to understand it. Allow me to offer you a hand, this is the very first thing written in the thread:

... allow me to not read the very first post, and laugh at your attempt of an "intellectual dicussion." Take my advice, and comprehend what someone says, before you respond to it. That inherently would create a intellectual dicussion. In other words, not understanding my first post here yet still responding to it, is not very intellectual. Sucks, don't it?

Glamdring

10-20-2005, 07:26 PM

dirka dirka

10-20-2005, 07:48 PM

dirka, you're being irrational and reactionary.

He flamed you for being moronic. You flamed him for a post that follows the thread topic. He flamed you for not comprehending the thread topic. So you... flamed him for not comprehending your original post? In which you were moronic?

This whole thing is depressingly typical of the forums nowadays.

My original post wasn't moronic (atleast, in my opinion, but I guess you could call it moronic, regardless though). My original post was just random, not needed, and kinda like 99% of my posts completely a joke. If someone else posts something along those lines, I ignore it, kinda like I expect everybody to do when I post something like that. The fact that he choose to flame it.. I just don't see why he even choose to reply to it... so I decided to keep it going, and see where we'd end up.

Shiny Flors

10-21-2005, 10:57 AM

Dirka,

When you make a post that is a joke, especially sarcastic jokes, it is helpful to include a smilie. This clarifies the intent of your post was not to offend but rather a crude attempt at sarcasm. Since not everyone is at the same level of mental sophistication and tend to misconstrue the intent of many posts, an extra click on a yellow face provides the necessary trigger in some persons brains to take the post lightly and not critisize your vastly superior intellect. You also get more positive rep and less negative rep for making jokes rather than for starting fights.

:)

abyaly

12-13-2006, 09:12 PM

Disagreeable people aside, lets continue the discussion of who will inherit the earth. In the comments before mine, noone has realized that one animal needs only a slight change in order to become a living weapon of mass destruction. I am referring to pigeons, of course. And the evolutionary change they would need to take over the world? Acid rain. Well, not exactly rain, but from the perspective of someone on the ground, it seems to come from the same place.

With organized bombing runs, pigeons have the natural edge in a war with any other species. Squirrels will have nothing to eat once all their trees have dissolved into steaming pools of pigeon doo. Dolphins have even more of a problem with it since they live in the water.

With a little practice, organization, and information gathering, pigeons could execute an assassination on a person in a third floor basement! You will regret every kick you tried to deliver to a pigeon, because they are already keeping a list. If you repent and dedicate the rest of your life to serving your future pigeon masters, you might be able to avoid a fate worse than death.

Serge

12-14-2006, 05:47 PM

That's bologna! It's so obvious, and the true heirs to the throne have even made jokes about it.

Hawks will inherit the Earth. All they need is to become mythical creatures by gaining another set of wings, making them Double-Hawks! Sure they're awkward, but they're indestructable, or something.

green97sierra

12-24-2006, 10:39 PM

ok, so by just reading this last post, is it safe to assume that we are no longer having an intellectual discussion?

shatterstar

12-24-2006, 11:33 PM