What is your favorite breakfast food?

[ALF_hates_you]

This is totally irrelevant to TAO, but this is general discussion. Alot of people are probably going to think this is dumb; so send your responses!

[Wurtil]

ALF_hates_you, I shall now share with you what countless adventurers have sought, the true secret to becoming a Dark Lord, such as myself. Your petty joke about eating pants for breakfast may amuse many who are less knowledgeable than us Dark Lords, but the truth is, pants provide all the necessary evils in a well-balanced and delightfully diabolic meal. By eating a pair a day, one rids him or herself of all heroic notions, and only then does the true path to despondence begin. There are, of course, countless following steps that must be taken to ascend to the power to ultimate darkness, but your intuitive nature has provided you with the first clue to the full path. Eat well, my apprentice, and soon all shall bow before your almight wrath!

Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord,
Wurtil

[ALF_hates_you]

thanks for your advice. But its getting cold now and i'd much rather wear my pants then eat them.

I prefer relaxing in the summer, sitting down and enjoying a nice cup of homemade gwajaw-pants.

[Wurtil]

Wear your pants instead of eating them? Mortals say the darndest things. Indeed, I should have expected as much, for few are truly capable of following the dark path so readily. To paraphrase my former master, once you go dark, you never go back. In time, you may come to realize your calamity, but for now, fear the power of retribution.

Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord,
Wurtil

[ALF_hates_you]

I have pants.

[Eldar[TN]]

You should eat your pants early, and often!

[Ri'Orius]

Originally posted by Eldar[TN]
You should eat your pants early, and often!

I hope you mean different pairs of pants, because the only ways I can think of to eat the same pair of pants often are disgusting.

[ALF_hates_you]

Okay. I shall eat my pants more often.

[Jingleheimer]

Pants?
What is the deal with all of this talk of pants?
Why eat pants when you can eat short shorts?


Who eats short shorts?

[ALF_hates_you]

shorts are dumb.

there like the non-fat pants.

non-fat suck

[ALF_hates_you]

And don't even get me started with short shorts.
Fuck.

[Wurtil]

Shorts are the same as non-fat pants? Brilliant ALF_hates_you, absolutely brilliant! The Dark Lord's Queen will be most pleased to know that the Dark Lord Wurtil plans on losing 20 pounds in the following few weeks. Praise be to you ALF_hates_you, I shall make certain that my clerics speak your name in this week's blessing.

Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord,
Wurtil

[Ri'Orius]

Originally posted by Wurtil
I shall make certain that my clerics speak your name in this week's blessing.

Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord,
Wurtil

Is it just me, or is it a bit odd that a Dark Lord would have clerics giving weekly blessings?

[ALF_hates_you]

WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS? Yes, we wear short shorts

duh duh duh da doo da duh.

Good luck with the weight loss.

[AzN_GuY]

Oh not at all.

[Wurtil]

Just because pure, unadulterated evil resides within me, does not mean that I can not have clerics converting non-believers to my dark following. To become a Dark Lord, one must obviously have Dark Serfs.

Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord,
Wurtil

[ALF_hates_you]

You guys need to cool it down, ok.

[Ri'Orius]

Originally posted by Wurtil
Just because pure, unadulterated evil resides within me, does not mean that I can not have clerics converting non-believers to my dark following. To become a Dark Lord, one must obviously have Dark Serfs.

Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord,
Wurtil

Well, obviously. But I don't think a Dark Lord's cleric should convert people by giving out blessings. A Dark Lord inspires fear in those who work for him, and his clerics should reflect this. A Dark Lord's cleric should not bless people, but instead threaten to curse them should they not immediately bow down to their new lord and master.

[Half-Mad]

Originally posted by Ri'Orius
Is it just me, or is it a bit odd that a Dark Lord would have clerics giving weekly blessings?

Not at all.
Saying there are no dark clerics is the same as saying there are no dark Gods.
Ever heard of Neutral-Evil?

[Griphon]

I have a question for the dark lord. What about other articles of clothing... such as socks or tshirts? Can they substitute a pair of pants?

[Wurtil]

First among my teachings for today, to Ri'Orius I must say that the power of intimidation is not the only tool at a Dark Lord's disposal. Is the enchantresses power of seduction not also a form of evil itself? Trickery and false hopes are a few of the many evening activities about which I daydream while managing Dark Lord, Inc. To an unimaginative Dark Lord, then yes, a cleric's role is to inspire fear amongst the populaces. But to the Dark Lord Wurtil, a cleric is the means by which every wish is granted, and then so taken away.

Secondly, to Griphon I must say that there is no true substitute for a good pair of pants. To a true connoisseur, a clip-on tie can add a slightly more elegant touch to the said pair of pants, but I assure you that no Dark Lord worth his salt would settle for less than a delicious pair of pants.

Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord,
Wurtil

[Ri'Orius]

Originally posted by Wurtil
First among my teachings for today, to Ri'Orius I must say that the power of intimidation is not the only tool at a Dark Lord's disposal. Is the enchantresses power of seduction not also a form of evil itself? Trickery and false hopes are a few of the many evening activities about which I daydream while managing Dark Lord, Inc. To an unimaginative Dark Lord, then yes, a cleric's role is to inspire fear amongst the populaces. But to the Dark Lord Wurtil, a cleric is the means by which every wish is granted, and then so taken away.

Ah, of course. Excuse my shortsightedness; I have very little experience with Dark Lords.

*bows to Wurtil's expertise*

[Wurtil]

Your apology has been noted, but I fear that any further unjustified verbal assaults upon my clerics shall result in. . .oh bother! I do believe I have run out of imaginative and thought provoking ways to use the word pain and all synonyms that follow it. You clearly see the picture, none the less.

Your friendly neighborhood Dark Lord,
Wurtil