Mount Lascivious

[Sir Vival]

The jungle is full of the sound of rushing water and rustling leaves as you approach the golden temple on the top of Mount Lascivious. In continuing your approach, you cautiously walk through the temple entrance. When you get further inside, the tapestry-covered walls give way to an enormous courtyard, a tamed jungle. There is a waterfall in the background, hammocks, beautiful flowers, and tables with all sorts of food on them. But you hardly notice the amazing background, because in the center of this courtyard, lounging on mounds of soft cushions, are three goddesses- Vival, goddess of Love and Beauty, Amaroth, goddess of Wisdom and War, and Kalamady, goddess of Cavour. In between them (on a lower cushioned chair) is the lil demi-god Amado, basking away in the light radiating off of the goddesses. Attending the ladies are their enormous masses of slaves/servants/harem members. The laughter of the beings draws you in and you journey closer to them despite the butterflies in your stomach. The Goddess Vival looks up and motions you to come closer.

Come, we won’t bite...

*takes a quick glance at Kalamady and Amaroth*

Join us

[DeadFishGuy]

You disturb me.

[Kalamady]

You disturb me.
Are you afraid to join us DFG?

[T3km4n]

*comes closer*

[Asmodeus]

And where am I!!?!?

[Kalamady]

In hell.

[Asmodeus]

Post whore.
I'll be back I have to go help build a house.
If only I had uncles that were alive so I could pass them off for dead so I could skip this.
*sigh*

[Sir Vival]

T3k, please join us atop these wonderful pillows of love. You never know you might get more than a nice story.
*Begins to giggle and run away*

[Kalamady]

If you join us, you could get one of these spiffy banners.

[Sir Vival]

*Giggles*
A banner, whatever are you speaking of Goddess Kalamady?

[Kalamady]

I love Cavour.

[Sir Vival]

Oh, you're so silly Goddess Kalamady!
*Begins picking flowers*
I wonder when Goddess Amaroth will joinith us. She's been sleeping for a very long time now!
*Giggles*
You wanna f... with her?

[Kalamady]

*Giggles*
Not right now, she's been very distressed lately, she can't find a man.
*Giggles*
We should search for her.

[Sir Vival]

*Twittles her hair*
Find Goddess Amaroth a man? Oh, sounds like fun! But who could satisfy someone so beautiful. Well, not as beautiful as me, but prettier than you.

[Kalamady]

She's not even half as pretty as me.
*disgusted look on face*
I suggest the royal prince Jeffery.
*sighs*
He is so handsome.

[Sir Vival]

*Slaps*
Oh my god! I wanted Jeffery! Wow, this is such going to cause me to have a Bitch Fit!

[Kalamady]

Oh my God! Don't have a BF!!!! I changed my mind! We'll give her the crap man Sangreal!
Just don't have a BF!!
*worried look*

[Sir Vival]

It's to late now, I'm totally having a BF until I get a picture of Jeffery in my hand!
*Holds out hand*

[Kalamady]

*Hands picture* (http://img88.exs.cx/img88/6136/jeffery.jpg)

[Sir Vival]

*Giggles* He's so yesterday, actually. Where's my picture of that one guy, what was his name...Ca...

[Kalamady]

Oh my God! You can't be talking about who I think you are!
*Giggles*
The most handsome and sexiest man on the planet!
*Giggles*
Ca....Oh It makes me tremble to even try and say his name!

[Sir Vival]

*Jumps up* Oh my god, I remember now! It was Cafour!
*Head turns side ways* I think.

[Kalamady]

No you dumb hoe!
*Giggles*
The name was Cavour
*Giggles*

[Sir Vival]

*Blinks* Oh my god, you're right!
We better put our clothes on so we can go find this hot sexy Cavour guy!

[Sangreal]

I want a cool banner!
*giggles*
Please?
*giggles*

[Kalamady]

*straps on bra*
I think he stays just north from here.
*pulls up G-string*

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god!
*Grabs a towel and covers body*
There's a guy up here!
*Runs behind a large bush to change quickly before Sangreal sees anything*

[Kalamady]

Oh My God that pervert!!!
*slaps Sangreal*
Go get my mase!!

[Sir Vival]

*Giggles* You mean Mace the rapper? Oh I love his new song, how does it go again.
*Begins to boble head* Breath, stretch, date, let it go...

[Kalamady]

It's shake you dumb hoe!
*breaths*
*stretches*
*shakes*
*lets it go*

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god you did not just call me a hoe! If you're going to say those kind of mean words I'm so going to look for Cafour by myself!

[Kalamady]

Have fun finding "Cafour!"
I'm going to go look for Cavour.

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god no! I called Cavour first! It was a silly mistake!
*Chases after Goddess Kalamady*

[Kalamady]

*runs*
You'll never catch me!
*Giggles*

[Sir Vival]

*Bottom of heal breaks* Ah...
*Tumbles down hill* Oh my god you're such a bitch!

[T3km4n]

*Bottom of heal breaks* Ah...
*Tumbles down hill* Oh my god you're such a bitch!THAT part was hilarious.

[Kalamady]

*Giggles*
Oh...my...God...
Do you see that cute little puppy over there?

[Sir Vival]

*Gets up* Oh shutup!
*Hits with purse* Oh my god, you're telling the truth!
*Runs over and picks up the little puppy* Let's name it Tek!

[Kalamady]

That is such a pretty name!!
I wanna hold him!!

[Sir Vival]

*Runs* No, you're a complete and utter peanut head!

[Foundation]

i guess i shoundn't have cut all of your testicles off...

[Sir Vival]

*Stops* Oh my god! We never had testicles! We're the most perfect chicks around. We're chicks without d**ks.

[Kalamady]

*Runs* No, you're a complete and utter peanut head!
*chases*
Oh no! The town fool is here!
*sighs*
What do you want Foundation?

[Foundation]

i want your big boobs

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god! Do you really think her boobs are bigger than mine! That's totally unfair she's wearing a push-up bra!

[Kalamady]

Am not!

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god I saw you put it on!

[Foundation]

nvm my boobs are bigger now

[Kalamady]

It's not a push up!!!

[Sir Vival]

*Blinks* Foundation you don't even have boobs! You're not ever fat enough to have man-boobs!
*Looks into the distance* Oh my god, it's Cavour!

[Kalamady]

Is it really!?!?!?
*blushes*
I'm going to go freshen up.

[Foundation]

*kicks cavour*

[Sir Vival]

*Giggles* I don't need to, I'm already ten billion times better looking than you without make-up on! Not to mention this puppy will help me win Cavour's heart over.
*Puts the puppy down* Look he's even trained! Come on Tek!

[Kalamady]

*grabs puppy and runs*

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god!
*Looks at Cavour in the distance, then back at the puppy* Oh my god who do I truly love!
*Looks back and fourth* That's it you stupid hoe give me my puppy back!

[Kalamady]

He's MY puppy!!!

[Sir Vival]

No way I found him first!
*Reaches into purse and throws a tampon at Goddess Kalamady* Take that you stupid hoe!

[T3km4n]

:p

[Kalamady]

No way I found him first!
*Reaches into purse and throws a tampon at Goddess Kalamady* Take that you stupid hoe!
The puppy will always be MINE!

[Sir Vival]

*Giggles* Fine you can have the stupid puppy. Tek is a dumb, retarded name anyways! I call Cavour, though!

[DeadFishGuy]

This thread still disturbs me.

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god DeadFishGuy the village hunk is back!
*Thinking*
He isn't as attractive as Cavour or Jeffery, but he can entertain me until they get here...
You're so beautiful, I want to wax your muscles!

[Kalamady]

I'm already waxing them! Haha!

[DeadFishGuy]

Muscles? What muscles?

You must be thinking of someone else. I'm all skin and bones.

And Brains, too.


And now you are disturbing me more than ever. But it's funny.

[Sir Vival]

*Begins to cry* You're such a biotch!

[cs_zero]

There, There, Vival, its ok....*Huggles vival*

[Sir Vival]

*Thinking*Well, cs_zero isn't exactly the most attractive or smartest person in the world, but I need a man to entertain me until Cavour or Jeffery get here!
*Wipes Tears Away* Can I wax you then, cs?

[Cavour]

Wow... Lotsa shit happened while I was gone for a few hours...

I'm such a peemp.

[Kalamady]

Cavour!!!!
*blushes*
*Giggles*
Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God!!!

[Sir Vival]

*Jumps up and down* Oh my god Cavour is here!
*Pushes cs_zero away* Cavour can I please wax your muscles!
*Huggles Cavour*

[Kalamady]

Cavour!!!! Will you be my husband!?!?

[Sir Vival]

*Begins waxing Cavour's muscles* You know Cavour, she's wearing a push-up bra, they're really not that big. Now, mine on the other hand are 100% quality.

[Kalamady]

And 100% silicon.

[Sir Vival]

*Slaps* Oh my god you promised you wouldn't tell! I'm telling about the vibrating "relaxer" you purchased!

[DeadFishGuy]

This thread is both disturbing and amusing.

It's Dismusing!

[Kalamady]

For your birthday!

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god, but you used it more than me!

[Kalamady]

Only because you almost broke it!!

[AssassinOfLords]

No, this thread is just disturbing.

[Sir Vival]

*Sighs* Well you can have it, I won't be needing it anymore now that I've got Cavour.

[Kalamady]

You don't have Cavour! I do!

[DeadFishGuy]

No, this thread is just disturbing.

Go on, admit it!

You laughed at least once!

[Sir Vival]

No, you have DeadFishGuy, Cavour is mine!

[DeadFishGuy]

There's never a lightsaber around when you need one!

[Kalamady]

I don't want DeadFishGuy I want Cavour!!!

[Sir Vival]

Fine, you can have Cavour from the waste up. I get from the waste down.

[DeadFishGuy]

I don't want DeadFishGuy

That's good to know.

[Kalamady]

Sure is.

[Sir Vival]

*Giggles* Is that a yes?

[T3km4n]

*giggles*

OMFG! Get off my mountain!

[Sir Vival]

*Licks* You can be so silly T3km4n! If only you were as cute as Tek the puppy!

[DeadFishGuy]

*Licks*
???

[Kalamady]

How about you can have the ground Cavour stands on, and I get him?

[Frank]

JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!!! I only read the first page (that's all I could stand) and this has to be the GAYEST thread in the history of mankind!



Unless I'm missing a funny joke, in which case, count me in.

[Sir Vival]

JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!!! I only read the first page (that's all I could stand) and this has to be the GAYEST thread in the history of mankind!



Unless I'm missing a funny joke, in which case, count me in.
Correction, this (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9870&highlight=confession) is the 'gayest' thread in the history of TAO.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Growls* No damnit I've had enough! I want atleast half of Cavour, why don't I get his left side and you get his right?

[Kalamady]

No! His left side is the best!

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god I'm going to throw a BF if I don't get his f...ing left side!

[Kalamady]

Throw one!! The left side is mine!

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god it's so on you stupid fat hoe! You give me that left side or I'm overdosing on Birth Control Pills!

[Kalamady]

Do it!!!!!!!!!

[Sir Vival]

*Begins to cry* I'm going to sleep with Godess Amaroth, and god forbid if someone makes a movie about it!

[Kalamady]

I'm taping it!!

[Asmodeus]

Congratulation you both gone up 70+ posts spamming uncontrolably.
And you said my cyber chase story was bad.
Seriously, are you two trying to be idiots.

[Kalamady]

Actually, I posted 230 times today.


EDIT: This one makes 231...

[GoOgLe]

whooohoooooooooo

[GoOgLe]

im a godess!

[lostandconfused]

I was cracking up at many times! Haha, DFG is completely right. This was the only thread longer than 4 pages that was easy to read. Thanks for 10 minutes of entertainment. :p

[Sir Vival]

*Sits atop pillows, along side Amaroth* You know what, we need to kill that bitch Kalamady. She's taking all the Cavour from us.

[Kalamady]

Don't hate! Just because Cavour knows that I am the sexiest Goddess of them all.


*mumbles*
Damn whores.

[GoOgLe]

psst vival i can be your hitman i will take out LK!

[Sir Vival]

*Sad Face* I hate you! Hmph!
*Turns away*

[Kalamady]

Oh my God....I am soooo sorry.
*begins to cry*
I never meant to hurt you...


I NEVER MEANT TO MAKE YOU CRY...BUT TONIGHT...IM CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET!!



...

[Sir Vival]

*Turns Around* You really mean it?
*Puts Tampon back in purse*

[Kalamady]

Yes! I do!




But i'm still doing it with Cavour tonight.

[Sir Vival]

*Tear runs down cheek* Oh my god that's so completely nice of you! I don't mind that you're doing it with him as long as Amaroth and myself can borrow the vibrator.

[Kalamady]

You can have the vibrator.

[Sir Vival]

*Wipes tear from eye* Thankyou so much! We haven't sat back and relaxed in so long! Tell me how Cavour is?

[GoOgLe]

what about me?

[Kalamady]

*Wipes tear from eye* Thankyou so much! We haven't sat back and relaxed in so long! Tell me how Cavour is?
Oh I will.
*looks excited*

[Sir Vival]

*Looks over at Google* Would you be interested in being the servant of a Goddess?

[Cavour]

Nah dudes...

Icky...

[GoOgLe]

why cant i be a goddess...
but a servant is nice too

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god did Cavour just call us 'doodez'? That is so an insult!

[GoOgLe]

*straps cavour down to a bed* go get him goddess

[Kalamady]

Like...Oh...My...God...

I think i'm going to have a BF....

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god Cavour you take it back now before she has a BF! Google, quick get the relaxer!

[Cavour]

Nah... that's yucky... O_O

[GoOgLe]

*gets the relaxer* like oh my god kalamady dont have a BF!

[Kalamady]

Nah... that's yucky... O_O
Cavour, are we still going to do it?

[GoOgLe]

psst covour i will get you out of this mess if you give me 5$

[AssassinOfLords]

Nope, never even cracked a smile. I've lost so much respect for Vival, LK and...well, not google, I never had any respect for him.

[Cavour]

Cavour, are we still going to do it?
Nah... that's nasty d00d...

[Kalamady]

But we just did it...

[Sir Vival]

Oh my god! You did it, with Cavour! Oh my god! Was it good? I heard he sucked? Was it really as small as everyone says?! Oh, I wanna ride the Cavour!

[Kalamady]

She didn't close this one...


HAHSHAHSHAHSHAHS



SPAM!!!

[Asmodeus]

HAHAHAhahshsashahsHAHA!!!

[Kalamady]

This post is dedicated to spam. Just like the TWS.

[GoOgLe]

This post is dedicated to spam. Just like the TWS.
whoohooo

[thewiz]

lol. omfg. im actually laughing out loud.. i love you tarty. this needs to be continued.

[thewiz]

I was cracking up at many times! Haha, DFG is completely right. This was the only thread longer than 4 pages that was easy to read. Thanks for 10 minutes of entertainment. :p
THIS THREAD IS THE FUNNIEST THREAD IN ALL OF TAO.. IVE GONE BACK AND READ IT..SINCE IM GROUNDED..AND I HAVE NOTHING TO DO I KEEP READING OLD THREADS ILOVE THIS ONE!!

[DeadFishGuy]

*Shudder*

This thread is something I'd rather forget.

Which makes me wonder why I'm posting here.

But there's a good reason for that.

It's . . . ummmm. I . . . . . uh, hey look over there! *runs*

[Jeffery]

wiz, seriously get off Vivals balls. You've stuck your nose so far up his ass, you should be brown down to your waist by now.

[Yuratart1]

damn jeff...is it that time of the month already?

someone went on thewiz's name there..it wasnt him