The worst thing to say on a first date...

[TheBlazedAce]

I first saw this on the show, "Who's Line Is It Anyway?", and then Dragashi said something in another thread and I wanted to make this into a thread because it could be very funny! :D

So tell me what you guys think is the worst thing you can say on a first date. GO!

I'll try one first:

"How much would you charge for 5 minutes?"

[Godmic18]

"Would you like to see my dead scorpian? I had it dipped in gold to preserve it."

[Jeffery]

"Get in the kitchen and bake me a pie woman!"

[TheBlazedAce]

No, I'm not paying for this! My third wife left me with nothing!

[dirka dirka]

"I dumped my last girl cause she wouldn't have sex on the first date."

[Godmic18]

"Do you play Tactics Arena Online?"

[Dagashi]

Oh it's your sister who works at the strip club? I must have gotten you mixed up.

[dirka dirka]

"Do you play Tactics Arena Online?"
lol, rep

[dirka dirka]

Bump.

So, I named my left Mark, and my right Joe... <to make it worse> How about you?

[Godmic18]

"You ARE a woman, right?"

[TheBlazedAce]

"You ARE a woman, right?"
[to make things worse]Mind if I check? I have a hard time trusting your kind.[/to make things worse]

[nads]

Can you hold my spit cup for a second?

(For those of you who chew tobacco you know what I mean ;) )

[Godmic18]

"Don't mind my mother, she likes to watch."

[dirka dirka]

I wana be on you.

[Megabyte]

Want to dance?

*no*

So I guess a *uck is out of the question?

[roamingstorm]

ok baby think dollar menu, i gotta get a new pair of socks

can you pass me some of those chips in the couch cushions, they cotton makes them taste better

well hey at least you dont look like a man

im a dirty construction worker who makes 5k a year, and likes feet

[Godmic18]

Want to dance?

*no*

So I guess a *uck is out of the question?

lmao

"No Way!!! You don't look a day over 60!!!"

[TheBlazedAce]

*On the cell phone*

"Ya, thanks a lot man. I know! She's not fat this time either!"

[Godmic18]

"But moooooooooom"

[Ignition]

"Is that your ass or.....!?"

[Tama Drummer]

"I'm married."

"I am gay." (unless both people are gay, then it wouldn't be bad to say, I guess)


Meh, those suck.



"You duck."

[TheBlazedAce]

"Are those real?!"

[Snarr]

Sorry I'm late, I didn't think I would get that far with my other date.

[Ignition]

" put my wa?? in the wa? wa? "

[Godmic18]

"I have to go. I left a... food... in the oven."

[Ignition]

*Looks down*
"My hot-o-meter says your not as hot as you think you are..."
"Why not??"
"Believe me if you were hot, it would know"

[TheBlazedAce]

You're a virgen?! Well, your son here says otherwise!

Why would he lie?!
-The actor who played corky romano (I don't know his real name, but I saw a comedy routine of him once and this was something he said)
Edit: I apologize I forgot to give credit where credit is due.

[Snarr]

Look you in the eyes? That's not why I asked you out for!

[Spit_101]

Are those real?

[TheBlazedAce]

*Wearing the shirt that says "tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes"*

[swordking35]

" The last hunderd girls i dated would have sex with me so i dumped them"

[TheBlazedAce]

"Are those real?!"
Are those real?

Nice job spit, but I got it first! :p

[Ignition]

lol.

[Godmic18]

"lol"

[Ignition]

........... :roleyes:

"so......" *runs out door*

[TheBlazedAce]

"Before we get started I'd like to know how many STD's you have."

"Well, you did say yes to going on this date so you obviously have some."

[Ignition]

"Before we get started I'd like to know how many STD's you have."

"Well, you did say yes to going on this date so you obviously have some."
Rep if I can give you some.

[Jeffery]

Wow, you look just like my Mother.


So, want to go back to my basement?

[Godmic18]

"I call this dance, The Shermanator!"

[Spit_101]

Nice job spit, but I got it first! :pSorry, to lazy to read through. :cool:

[TheBlazedAce]

"I am the Sherminator, a futuristic sex-machine sent back in time to change the fate of one lucky lady." -Sherman (If it's not exactly what he said it's darn close)

[arendt]

"It puts the lotion in the basket, it puts the lotion on its skin."

"I hope you like to watch movies about gladiators"

"Sorry I'm late"

"wow your hair sure is different from your picture"

"You look just like Jody Foster (http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/hinckley/jfostercommun.HTM)"

"I can't believe we met on livejournal"

[Megabyte]

I hope you like square dancing and baked beans!

[Revenge]

"*Sits at table in restuarant* Me-Hey baby, you owe me $50 bucks by the way"
Girlfriend- "what, why?!?"
Me- "Well, im letting you go out with me you slut! i know i have 3 other girls so dont get that jealous, at least im not gonna charge another $19 to that $50.

[nomar]

"So, want to go halves on a bastard?"

Works every time!

[Dagashi]

With appologies to John Nash:

"I don't know what I have to say to get you to have sex with me, but can we both assume I've already said it, skip the talking and move straight to the intercourse?"

[S_K_O_F]

So...Would you mind picking up the check?
My valtrex bill wiped me out!

[.Vash.]

*Wheres the cream filling?*

Now thats the stuff.

~_^.

[thefreezing]

"Are you good in bed?!"

[Warcow]

Hi, I'm Jeffery :cool:

/Served :)

[Jehutyv.2.0]

"Hi, meet my girlfriend"

[nads]

"Excuse me, is my schlong hanging out?"

"No"

"It should be, cause I'm peeing"

[Warcow]

*Date opens door*

You: Can you tell?

Date: Tell what?

You: Only three weeks ago, I was a woman!

[nomar]

"Sorry, i'm hung like a chipmonk."

[Punishment Co.]

"How did you do that?"

(she asks 'do what?')

"Get so cute"

DUN DUN DUNNNNN

[Foundation]

you have snot on your nose ... do you need a tissue ?

[BlackSyphon]

"you could use some of these" *points to breast augumentation adds*

du

[arendt]

"can I have it back?"
"what?"
"my breath, you took it away."

more like the worst pick-up line but close.

[finalfantasyt]

"so, how do you feel about three-somes?"

[thefreezing]

"Hey baby, ya got any pepto-bismol with ya? I'm feeling a little gassy today."

[dirka dirka]

::Pulling out the chair:: "SIT BITCH!"

[CRX687]

"i hope you don't mind, i promised my friend we'd share!"

[TheBlazedAce]

"I absolutely HATE the OC!"

[dirka dirka]

"i hope you don't mind, i promised my friend we'd share!"
Nice, reppy.

[thefreezing]

*Silence in background*
*Farts*
Oops! :o

[kvon78]

the highest i go is 3 inches...wait what did you just say?

[Aro23r]

"I think you're ugly."

Why does no one just state the obvious?

[kvon78]

"i once stabbed a guy in the heart with a trident"

or

Wow you have a very appealing adams apple!

[dirka dirka]

"I think you're ugly."

Why does no one just state the obvious?
Thats a good one also, rep.

[T3 Terminater]

"Are you related to Dirka Dirka?"

[ko71991]

*ding dong*
*your girl answers the door*
Uh, hey dude, is your sister in?

[T3 Terminater]

*Pulls up on a trycycle*.
"C'mon women, your rides here!"

[Jeffery]

So, I guess your sister is the pretty one.

[ko71991]

*sniff*
*holds nose*
So, your the clean one in your family right?

[T3 Terminater]

"So your dad is the head cashier at McDonalds?"

[ko71991]

*sits in living room with her and her dad*
*cracks up*
Ha! I thought your dad was a pet or something for the first 10 minutes!
*sees dad mad*
*gets nervous and thinks of the most popular compliment to parents on first date*
its no wonder where your daughter got her looks. :)

[Cavour]

Nice job spit, but I got it first! :p
Ooh, I got one..

Are those real? :cool:

[ko71991]

*if your girl is a reporter*
*presses on her breasts*
What? It said press....

[TheBlazedAce]

Ooh, I got one..

Are those real? :cool:

Pozer!

Here's another one:

"My feet aren't the only big things on me." :D

[ko71991]

Heres another one....
Rosy O'Donalds?

[Cavour]

Pozer!

Here's another one:

"My feet aren't the only big things on me." :D
Or better yet!

"My feet are the only big things on me." :(

[ko71991]

"Say... Wanna pet my snouzer(sp?)? After that we can pet my dog*

[kvon78]

"i've met ko71991"

[ko71991]

"Kvon78?"
*slap*

[kvon78]

haha nice, rep.

Edit: ugghh nvm gotta "spread it" :rolleyes:

[Dagashi]

Different people will react differently to it, but the biggest turn off for me was, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?"

[Blexican]

Are you studying uglyology?

[.Vash.]

*To the pool*

*If you see a snake dont worrie it dont bite*

LOL >_<.

[ko71991]

*ding dong*
*girl answers the door*
Aww, aren't you a good boy! Whos a good boy? Whos a good boy? Now can you do me a favor and fetchy wetchy you owner?

[Blexican]

*watches girl smack the living *uck out of him* HAHA

[Amaroth]

"I eat babies. ALL THE TIME."

[ko71991]

"Does it make you look fat? Girl, it makes you look like a blimp!"
"Oh, you asked if the lakers as winning?"
"Eh, I'm still glad I got that out...."

[Blexican]

Do you have white herritage in you?
Would you like some *devilish look*

[ko71991]

"You! Bed! Now!"
*whip*

[.Vash.]

*Knock Knock*

Me:Hi

Girl:Hi

Girl:Come in

Me:Wow is that your mom?Or your dad?

Girl:My mom

Me:You sure becuase it looks like a guy with alot of hair.

Girl:.........

Me:Well I hope you dont look like that, becuase I dont like hairy girls that look like men.

[ko71991]

"Damn girl! You grew a mustache before me!"

[Jehutyv.2.0]

"So, how much for the lap dance?"

[.Vash.]

*Knock Knock*

Me:Hi

Girl:Hi

Me:OMG ITS MICHEAL JACKSON

girl:........

Me:Sorry micheal but im going to beat it >_<.

[Blexican]

So how much for your mom?

[ko71991]

*ding dong*
*girl answers the door*
me: Good evening Mr. <girl's last name>, is your daughter ready yet?

[Jeffery]

Here's a hanky. You got dirt above your lip.

[Jehutyv.2.0]

"So, yeah, I'm a unic. But hey, who isn't?"

[Warcow]

I wish I could grow a moustache like that . . . :(

[ko71991]

Ok, so 1 hour is how much again?

[Blexican]

Hey dont look at me woman this wasnt my idea, someone paid me.

[ko71991]

Can I poke them?

[Medemia]

Can we hurry? My wife is expecting me to tuck the kids into bed.

[Jehutyv.2.0]

"So this morning, I'm like, 'contagious?' and the doctor's like, 'extremely contagious'."

[ko71991]

Geez, could you put on any more make-up? I bet if I slap you, all that powder would make a dust cloud....

[Jehutyv.2.0]

*with disgusted look upon face* Daaaayuuuum!!!

[ko71991]

*snork* So, yeah, he told me I couldn't hack NASA coz I only had a .22917SbBADv8362 super capacity, but I extremely not so literally put egg on his face when I did. But secretly I just uploaded to a 67GJHAK0007568 capacitator, jacked it in my GBAKCD modem, and fired that sucker right up! hehehehehehehehe*snokr hehehehehehehehe *snork*. And the other day... <nerdish jiborish><nerdish jiborish><nerdish jiborish><nerdish jiborish><nerdish jiborish><nerdish jiborish><nerdish jiborish><nerdish jiborish><nerdish jiborish><nerdish jiborish>....

[Jehutyv.2.0]

"Oh, 'Puta fea'? It means, 'lovely woman'."

[TheBlazedAce]

"Oh, that was your mom? And that's your sister?"
"How much for all three of ya?"

Girl: "WHAT?!"

Me again: "Fine, if you insist we can let your dad in on the action, but it better be at a good price!" :D

[Glamdring]

"The last guy I dated had a porsche boxter. He sent me flowers every Friday, because he knew that was my least favorite day of the week. I dumped him though, because he wants to be like... an archeologist or something. HellOOOO, can we say subsistance living? SOOOO not for me. Are you taking me to a movie after dinner?"

[MokoToko]

"The last guy I dated had a porsche boxter. He sent me flowers every Friday, because he knew that was my least favorite day of the week. I dumped him though, because he wants to be like... an archeologist or something. HellOOOO, can we say subsistance living? SOOOO not for me. Are you taking me to a movie after dinner?"

Will you go out with me glam?

[psychofireman]

- how much do you charge for a blumpkin?
- Are you sure your husband won't wake up?
- I paid your bar fine, your mine for the night
- The chick in the other room only charged $20
- I didn't use a condom every time cause I didn't want to run out

[nomar]

"Yes, I have a fat girl fetish, and guess what. You fit the bill."

[S_K_O_F]

Different people will react differently to it, but the biggest turn off for me was, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?"

That is the absolute most uncomfortable question! Women should never ask it!

I am a Christian and could probably run circles around many girls, who would ask that question, with bible knowledge...And I STILL hate being asked that question!

ESPECIALLY on a first date

[Medemia]

How about you and I sign a suicide pact for next Monday? Wouldn't that be a great date?

[S_K_O_F]

"The last guy I dated had a porsche boxter. He sent me flowers every Friday, because he knew that was my least favorite day of the week. I dumped him though, because he wants to be like... an archeologist or something. HellOOOO, can we say subsistance living? SOOOO not for me. Are you taking me to a movie after dinner?"

spoken from experience???

[Medemia]

spoken from experience???
Wouldn't doubt it :)

And just for you Skof,

"I speak in tongues. Would you mind if I spoke to you tongue to tongue?"

[S_K_O_F]

Wouldn't doubt it :)

And just for you Skof,

"I speak in tongues. Would you mind if I spoke to you tongue to tongue?"

hmmm...*sticks tongue out*

[Godmic18]

"Arrrrrrrrrrr. I'm a pirate!"

[Dagashi]

"Yeah but it wasn't my fault, how was I supposed to know she was only 14?"

[nomar]

"I just got a Penis implant. Care to test it out?"

[thefreezing]

"I just got a Penis implant. Care to test it out?"
ROFL! :D Reppy!

[Zeratul]

dont mind the squirrel-suit, I just like to play with my nuts!

[Metal Gear Ray]

Me: "Girl I'm like a snow storm."

Her: "What?"

Me: "I'll give you 10-12 inches and you wont be able to leave the house for a week."

[Ignition]

“hey baby lets play carpenter, first we both get HAMMERED then I NAIL you.”

[Zeratul]

first on a t-shirt
second I TOLD YOU THAT ONE!

[nomar]

"Baby, your legs are like the weather. I want to see them Clear Up!"

[Zeratul]

*barf* oh god that was nasty

[Medemia]

You may know me from my internet fame as nomar. Oh, you don't have the internet? Wanna go back to my place and look for porn?

[nomar]

You may know me from my internet fame as nomar. Oh, you don't have the internet? Wanna go back to my place and look for porn?


;)

[Ignition]

"hey my name is *****, I am a normal peson that lives a normal life, we will fall in love. and you WILL LIKE IT !!!!!!"

[Zeratul]

HI! my name is Hellsing I'm a vampire.

[nomar]

"Baby, your parents must be retarded, because your special."

[Godmic18]

"Do you prefer a turtle or a rush?"

[ck1]

"I want to be on you."

[Jehutyv.2.0]

"I want to be on you."
That's from anchorman!

[dirka dirka]

That's from anchorman!

Wow, you noticed... You've just improved my opinion of you ten fold for noticing that, showing me your more intelligent then you put forth.

I got one - >

Saying it real quick = "Park your ass on the chair bitch."

[kvon78]

i can see dirka has no originality :rolleyes:

i've tried:
" wow if i think hard enough i can make you look like a dog with big boobs"
slap count: 3
and of corse
" **sniff**...wow you smell like beatuiful!"
slap count: 0
effectivness: 0... :o

[Blexican]

kvon, should you really be talkin to him like that?

[dirka dirka]

i can see dirka has no originality :rolleyes:

Uhm, don't insult me, ever again. I was posting quotes from the movie almost all day.

[kvon78]

kvon, should you really be talkin to him like that?

probably not but im just sick of seeing "sit down" as a bad thing to say...oh and blex i love the banner!

and if your insaulted by that i'd say your weak, but i dont want to offend you anymore. sawwwwy.

[Blexican]

Thanks, im just trying to not get you a red box there kvon and to save some embarressment.

[dirka dirka]

probably not but im just sick of seeing "sit down" as a bad thing to say...oh and blex i love the banner!

and if your insaulted by that i'd say your weak, but i dont want to offend you anymore. sawwwwy.
ROFL!!! How is "Park your ass on the chair bitch." not a bad thing to say!

[kvon78]

Thanks, im just trying to not get you a red box there kvon and to save some embarressment.


i appreciate your looking out for me, but im just asking for it.

[T3 Terminater]

Did you spend $650 on PhotoShop 7 like me?

[TheBlazedAce]

Bad math pick up lines that are famous at my school. I thought it was a good place to mention them:

"Baby, I want to be your derivative so I can lie on your curves."

and,

"You be cosine sqaured, I'll be sine sqaured. Together we'll become one."

I like the first one better myself.

[Glamdring]

spoken from experience???

You've been talking to ele, haven't you...

It was only ONE DATE, dangit... and even though it didn't work out, at least I got to ride in the boxter.

Completely unrelated note, if I could rep Godmic18 once for every post he's made in this thread, I would. His are absolutely hilarious. Or hillarious. Or however you spell that STUPID word that I can never get.

"HARRR!!"

[dirka dirka]

I got a good one...

"There are three things going threw my mind... Me and you.

[Medemia]

"My ex-girlfriend used to swear like a sailor, smoke like a chimney and eat like a sumo. Can I expect the same from you or should I be disappointed?"

[thefreezing]

"Hey I've been told that you do 1 night stand, right?"

[dirka dirka]

"My ex-girlfriend used to swear like a sailor, smoke like a chimney and eat like a sumo. Can I expect the same from you or should I be disappointed?"
sublte

[actgfin1234]

Me? I live with my mother. Don't you?

[Cuathon]

um my friend at school uses these all the time. in fact on our last field trip he went up to random girls and used them. he looked like a tomato for a week.

"Let's play house, you be the screen door and i'll bang on you all day."
"The word of the day is legs, let's go to my house and psread the word."
"If the left leg is Christmas and the right leg is Easter, i want to visit between the holidays."

[wolf rayne {D}]

ok...worst thing...well...
"i like to go both ways, how about your legs?"
i probably have worse. i just cant remember right now.

[savanna]

you DO know that you ARE paying for this meal, RIGHT?!

[dirka dirka]

you DO know that you ARE paying for this meal, RIGHT?!
Very nice, rep.

[wolf rayne {D}]

oh wait, i got another one.
" thank you for paying, now i know why everyone likes you, now, could i barrow a 20?"

[actgfin1234]

What? the chair? Aww, it's not THAT heavy, you should be fine.

[max2k106]

All you guys doing clever "worst things to say" . . . but heres one that is SURE to get you slapped or kicked in the nads:

"Come on b***ch, suck my d***, just like a lolipop"

>_<

[ko71991]

Hmm, hey you think we can do this quick and just go straight to bed. Bara-boom! Bara-bing! You know what I mean? But seriously though, lets do this fast, my mom is expecting me to be home by 10.

[Foundation]

mmmm...max

>.< :cool:

[ko71991]

Will you just shutup woman??? I told you, I'm too busy staring at your breasts damnit!

[Cuathon]

wow your mom was sexy beast!

[ko71991]

Wait, so your saying that was your mom last night?!?!?!? Oopsy...

[TheBlazedAce]

"Safety" :D :D

[Jehutyv.2.0]

"Will you marry me?"

[ko71991]

Sit the **** down! And your having a small salad and that's final missy! I don't wanna see that frown... GET RID OF IT OR YOUR GROUINDED! Don't try my patience...

[ShodoWielder]

Sit the **** down! And your having a small salad and that's final missy! I don't wanna see that frown... GET RID OF IT OR YOUR GROUINDED! Don't try my patience...


awww, but dad...

[ko71991]

Not you rose. You're special. :)

[Godmic18]

"Life is like a box of chocolates..."

[ko71991]

How the hell is life like a box of chocolates? :confused:

[ShodoWielder]

Date:When was the last time you were on a date?

You: Three hours ago

[ko71991]

When was the last time you were on a date?
me: I'm in one right now
Girl: Not counting ours silly!
me: I wasn't...

[Godmic18]

"Virgin?!?!? Hey, it still counts if you pay for it!"

[T3km4n]

"Hi."

[ko71991]

Hey, my name is ko.

[ShodoWielder]

"Hi."


isn't "hi" kinda requiered? or some veryasion such as "hello" or "hey"?

[ko71991]

:eek:
She said the 3 H word! Ban her! :p

[TheBlazedAce]

"I'm still a virgen. Anal doesn't count right?"

[Amaroth]

"I have a murder fetish."

[Jehutyv.2.0]

"So, yeah, I'm a necrophile. My, don't you look...lively tonight."

[ko71991]

*takes out jacket and put sleeve in fly*
Hmm, kidna chilly tonight, wanna wear this jacket?

[dirka dirka]

Got Milk?

[ko71991]

Lmfao!
Have a rep.

[laser y]

:) at a dance never say anythin stupid lol

[T3km4n]

"Wanna hear something funny? One time I read this thread that talked about stupid stuff you shouldn't say on a date and they said [insert joke]! LoL!"

[ko71991]

Where the hell did that come from? :confused:

EDIT: talking to laser

[Medemia]

Every since your mother got remarried, I've had to start fantasizing about other women. You have any suggestions?

[Jehutyv.2.0]

"Hi, I'm gay"

[falco88887]

"you say you're 12? well you're in luck, today's my last day being 17!"

"Does you're sister charge less, because i'd definately hit that."

stolen from my friend, "does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"what's your definition of date rape?"

[Chingy]

Hmm, in Hawaii people who live here usually talk like a local so it would go like this:

"Hey girl, like f*ck?"

..

>.>
<.<

[Ignition]

" Ok fine LEAVE !!!! I dont need you any way i can suck my own ****"

[Zeratul]

I have Multiple Personality Disorder but try to look at it like double dating.

[wolf rayne {D}]

"well, the voices in my head say your very pretty"

[ko71991]

"Did I ever tell you you look alot like my hamster?"

[Zeratul]

I had a Banana this morning, *burp* I'm just tasting it now.

[Ignition]

*Looks down*
"My hot-o-meter says your not as hot as you think you are..."
"Why not??"
"Believe me if you were hot, it would know"
Bump.
for all who missed the best one yet....

[ko71991]

girl: You got something on your nose.
Me: Really? Where? *zip*
Girl: What are you doing?
me: Huh? Oh you said nose? I thought you said hose...
Girl: SO why are you not putting that back in?
me: Too lazy, I'm pretty sure I'll need it later tonight anyways...
Girl: But my mom is right there...
Me: So? Its not like she doesn't have one of these...
Girl: Uhm. I said mom, not dad...
Me: I know.
Girk: How the hell would you know if she does????
Me: Hey, she came on, to me.

[dirka dirka]

girl: You got something on your nose.
Me: Really? Where? *zip*
Girl: What are you doing?
me: Huh? Oh you said nose? I thought you said hose...
Girl: SO why are you not putting that back in?
me: Too lazy, I'm pretty sure I'll need it later tonight anyways...
Girl: But my mom is right there...
Me: So? Its not like she doesn't have one of these...
Girl: Uhm. I said mom, not dad...
Me: I know.
Girk: How the hell would you know if she does????
Me: Hey, she came on, to me.

odd, but creative, rep

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ko71991 again.

[Medemia]

Whew. Tell me when you smell that!

[nomar]

This is for people over 18!!! Highlight at your own risk!

me: "Oh man! I had a crazy night yesterday."

girl: "..."

me: "Well, a few of my buddy's and I went out to a strip club. We talked 4 stripers to come on back to my place. Once we got there, it turned out to a huge orgy / coke party. One of the sluts snorted to much coke and we had to take her to the ER."

girl: "Did you hear that?"

Me: "No, but i wasn't done with my story...."

girl: "It's my phone, let me answer. I'll be right back"

10 minutes later....

me: "Hmm.....guess i'll order for the both of us."

[Ignition]

guy "my name is nomar"
girl "*screems*"

[Godmic18]

"Would you think of me any different if you knew I was wearing Depends?"

[nomar]

"Baby, you know that Mith "White men can't jump?". Well, that's true.....but we can hump!!!"

[dirka dirka]

So... missionary or doggy?

[Godmic18]

"Hold that thought, my 'roids are acting up again."

[ko71991]

"What are you doing?! I say when its over!"

[Zeratul]

ahh ha ha that was a good one.

I broke up with my last girlfriend because she wasn’t into bondage.

[Ignition]

YOU had a girlfriend ?!?

[savanna]

*cop sirens*
"sorry, gotta let you out here"

[Godmic18]

"Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

[ko71991]

me: "I don't normally do this first date, but you just so special. I never even believed in love at first sight 'till I saw you..."
girl: "That's way too fast, but I know exactly what you mean. <gets all dramatic and cries> Yes I will marry you!
me: I'll do anything for you, even put you on T.V.
Girl:You don't have to do that, your undying love is enough...
me: Well, too late, your on T.V. now...
girl: Wha?
me: 'Coz you're on MTV's Punk'd! *cracks up* Hahahahahaha! You should've seen your face! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I can't believe you fell for that!

[TheBlazedAce]

me:"Oh my God! You so remind me of my 15th Ex!"

girl:"That's because I am your 15th Ex."

me:"...Oh ya." *long awkward silence*

"So I was thinking we could go to that fancy place next to the cleaners. I've never been there before."

girl:"That's what you said on our first date."

[Jehutyv.2.0]

Me: Oh, Joe thinks I'm crazy, but he's the crazy one.
Girl: Who's Joe?
My hand: Don't listen to him! He's nuts! Completely wacky!

[Catra]

"You! Bed! Now!"
*whip*


Hmm, you stole mine!!

~Cats

[Warcow]

Sorry,

You must be this tall to ride

---
|
|
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[ko71991]

Hmm, you stole mine!!

~Cats

Prolly, I was too lazy to read other posts. :p

[kvon78]

"stfu troll"

[ko71991]

"You! Down there! Now!"

[Godmic18]

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Carrot Top."

[ck1]

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm godmic."

:)

[Godmic18]

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm godmic."

:)

LMFAO! It's so true.... It's especially awkward when they don't know what a godmic is.... :(

rep

[ck1]

"Julia is so much hotter than you."

:)

[Ignition]

"god with that face, I'm even hotter then you!"

[ck1]

" I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner."

[Ignition]

" I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner."
how is that something bad to say ?? unless you were completly not an acter of any kind

[ck1]

:rolleyes:

[Godmic18]

"I'm too sexy for my pants, too sexy for my pants..."

[swordking35]

" I love to f*** so supply or Good Bye"

[nomar]

"How about you lick my balls tonight?"

[ck1]

"Are you having a killer time?"

[dirka dirka]

You: "Oh look, there's a message in my cereal. It says oooo."
Girl: "Those are cheerios..."

[nomar]

"Don't worry. My genital warts are in the dorment stange. If i wear a condem, you should be ok."

[Elektra]

"i have a yeast infection"

"my vagina bites"

[Megabyte]

"i have a yeast infection"




no no no, too simple.

Better line:

"Is it alright if I take off my shoe? I have this fungus on my foot that needs air."

[wolf rayne {D}]

"i have a growth [edited for content]"
this is in a movie if youve ever seen it, its not a date line, but its kinda funny:
Bubba-Ho-tep

[Ignition]

movie or not... its wrong.

[wolf rayne {D}]

"i have a growth [edited for content]"
this is in a movie if youve ever seen it, its not a date line, but its kinda funny:
Bubba-Ho-tep
happy?

[Ignition]

you do relise it was just a joke...
but I guess that's a little better to follow the forum rules

[nomar]

spelled comdom wrong.

I got that in my rep. If someone is going to critique my spelling. Please spell it right in my rep, and add your name ;) Thanks for the positive rep though. Would like to return it!

back to the subject...

"Hey those are pretty shoes"

"thanks *smiles*"

"They'd look even better if they were the only thing on you!"

[Jeffery]

"So, how old were you when you had Nomar?"

[nomar]

"So, how old were you when you had Nomar?"

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jeffery again.
;)

[Godmic18]

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You're EMO!?!?!?!?!?!"

[dethbunny]

"Wow! i like it when you were a skirt, i can see your nice legs, next time where short shorts!"

[TheBlazedAce]

"Oh ya. Dating your daughter was one of the best relationships I ever had."

[kvon78]

"do you belive in aliens? i do....they created this world you know...and so did it was fun....we had fun...do u like fun?"

" hey hey i gotta joke! how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a....I LOVE YOU!"

or

" hey do you know how to one three three seven dollor-sign p e four k? ;) "
(leet speak)