Worst Things to say to a police officer.

[Deathscythe]

Why did u pull me over officer i was just tryin to keep up with traffic as you can see there is none around so im pretty far behind.

Officer told me my eyes looked red and ask if i was high. I said no and ask ur eyes look glazed have u been eating donuts.

[Godmic18]

"Do you play Tactics Arena Online?"

[dirka dirka]

Officer told me my eyes looked red and ask if i was high. I said no and ask ur eyes look glazed have u been eating donuts.

Stolen much?

"I DID YOUR WIFE!"

"F***ING B**CH A** PIG!!" - i've said it ;)

[Jeffery]

Wow.

It's amazing how 5 seconds worth of searching could find a thread that not only had this topic, but those exact same jokes already.

[Godmic18]

Wow.

It's amazing how 5 seconds worth of searching could find a thread that not only had this topic, but those exact same jokes already.

You make me laugh. :cool:

[_Thunder_]

Another nooby pointless thread..

[Revenge]

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

[mushroom_girl]

You make me laugh. :cool:
*officer pulls godmic over*
Your carrying an illegal banner. Please, step out of the forums until you can get it under control.
:rolleyes:

[Revenge]

*officer pulls godmic over*
Your carrying an illegal banner. Please, step out of the forums until you can get it under control.
:rolleyes:
Truw his banner si too big.

[Blexican]

*officer pulls guy over*

:cool: <--(officer) : Your eyes look kind of red, have you been drinking tonight?

:eek: <----(man) : Your eyes look kind of glazed, have you been eating to many donuts?

[savanna]

*runs away* big banner!

[dirka dirka]

*officer pulls guy over*

:cool: <--(officer) : Your eyes look kind of red, have you been drinking tonight?

:eek: <----(man) : Your eyes look kind of glazed, have you been eating to many donuts?

Deathscythe said that in the first post, its from precinct 13. Stealer!!!!

[Medemia]

"I have a checkbook here that my pen is just itching to make love with. Speaking of that, why don't you just jump in and we'll go back to my place. Then you can earn that check."

[GreenS@murai!]

my friend has a really funny shirt with a lot of things about cops

the title was "10 things not to say to a cop"


1. Nice gun, wanna see mine?
2. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer
3.Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
4.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
5. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
6. Are we going to be on that TV show "COPS"?
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum
9. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist
10. Do you know how stupid you look in that costume?


edit: i didnt see that Jeffery already posted most of these. To tell you where we got them just go to google and search "things not to say to a cop"
all these were actually printed on a shirt once....

[max2k106]

Cop - "Bla bla bla, liscence and registration bla bla bla"

Driver - "F*** you" *drive away*

[swordking35]

my friend has a really funny shirt with a lot of things about cops

the title was "10 things not to say to a cop"


1. Nice gun, wanna see mine?
2. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer
3.Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
4.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
5. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
6. Are we going to be on that TV show "COPS"?
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum
9. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist
10. Do you know how stupid you look in that costume?


edit: i didnt see that Jeffery already posted most of these. To tell you where we got them just go to google and search "things not to say to a cop"
all these were actually printed on a shirt once....
:D Man this is funny ^_^ I LOVE stupid threads threads :D

[max2k106]

:D Man this is funny ^_^ I LOVE stupid threads threads :D

Man, this is funny ^_^ I LOVE stupid people people ;-)

[roamingstorm]

ive said this, and nearly got ticketed for it i bet that gun and badge make you feel mighty powerful, you know a superiority complex, like no one can touch you no wonder most cops are wife beaters its not stress its because they think theyre better than everyone else, do not ever say that to a cop,

[GreenS@murai!]

roaming storm thats a really cool banner. r you on a paintball team.