My Book is Finished...

[Twelve]

...now I just have to get it published.

I've been working like crazy on a project for that past 2 years, a book. I finished last week. I write like crazy, and it only took 2 years because as many of you know I crossed the Atlantic recently and it took me awhile to get that "writer's peace" again and rediscover my muse.

My dream is to be a writer and I've been doing it since I learned how to spell. Since then, I've put together a huge portfolio of a wide variety of writing, but never did I have the time or stability to put a book together until after college.

But now I've done it. It's a book of the fantasy genre, which I'm SERIOUS about getting published. I will not rest until I have a contract with a major publisher (because I already have a book published with a minor one...my advice to all is not to go that route), and as of this week I will begin that process.

I must first make sure the book is airtight. Then I need to find someone to edit it (already have an idea as to who will do this, but I need to grill her to make sure she's professional first), and that will cost a lot of money. Then it's off to finding agents and publishers...to "sell" the idea of my book to them.

I've been keeping this very hush-hush for awhile, but now I'm so excited about actually being DONE that I had to tell people...just had to!

I would like to know of other writers in the TAO world, and what you're doing!!!!

Let's talk!

12

[Godmic18]

...now I just have to get it published.

I've been working like crazy on a project for that past 2 years, a book. I finished last week. I write like crazy, and it only took 2 years because as many of you know I crossed the Atlantic recently and it took me awhile to get that "writer's peace" again and rediscover my muse.

My dream is to be a writer and I've been doing it since I learned how to spell. Since then, I've put together a huge portfolio of a wide variety of writing, but never did I have the time or stability to put a book together until after college.

But now I've done it. It's a book of the fantasy genre, which I'm SERIOUS about getting published. I will not rest until I have a contract with a major publisher (because I already have a book published with a minor one...my advice to all is not to go that route), and as of this week I will begin that process.

I must first make sure the book is airtight. Then I need to find someone to edit it (already have an idea as to who will do this, but I need to grill her to make sure she's professional first), and that will cost a lot of money. Then it's off to finding agents and publishers...to "sell" the idea of my book to them.

I've been keeping this very hush-hush for awhile, but now I'm so excited about actually being DONE that I had to tell people...just had to!

I would like to know of other writers in the TAO world, and what you're doing!!!!

Let's talk!

12

When it's published I want to know the name of the book and the author. I look forward to reading it.:bigsmile:

[I BEAT MATHEWS]

When it's published I want to know the name of the book and the author. I look forward to reading it.:bigsmile:

I do to 12, dont leave us out. :p

[speaker4thedead]

all tho im at a young age i used to write a LOT but for some reason i just stoped... i would like to read your book 12. when its published im gonna bye on (bearing in mind i wont if i have to go to a differnt country ;) ) but if i can get hold of a copy i will

[Jeffery]

Can you email me a copy of the book to read? I promise to forget I ever read it afterwards.

[The Exile]

It's always a pleasant feeling to complete any project you've been working on for years. It's also good to still have something to do afterwards.

Congrats 12.

[Learz]

Whats an optomistic idea on when it'll come out?

[Godmic18]

Whats an optomistic idea on when it'll come out?

15 minutes.

[Pixel]

Congrats 12. This is very exciting. I have read parts of it and it is really good. I look forward to reading the whole thing. :bigsmile:

[Forest_Archer]

Very cool.

How long is the book and are you thinking about selling it to the public or just for some close friends?

[The Exile]

If it's going to a major publisher, I'm expecting the former. :rolleyes:

[Jeffery]

I also want to know what book you have with a minor publisher (and what defines minor/major publishers to you).

[Twelve]

Word, I appreciate the encouragement guys. It's been a long time coming and the truly hard part now begins.

The book is well over 100,000 words, most likely closer to 150,000. On a 12 inch font, the manuscript is 142 pages, which means depending on the format the finished product should LOOK like 350-400 pages in book form.

I would have begun today to go through and make it airtight...making sure that everything makes sense from the beginning to end of a 2 year work. But I got to bed really late last night and I'm dragging...

I'm not sure how long it would take to edit...I guess it depends on the editor.

I'm really hoping that this work will be perfectly done by Jan '06.

As far as when it will be PUBLISHED...hehe...I'll be trying my best to get that done ASAP.

Who else is writing stuff? I honestly want to initiate a writing thread here, if possible.

12

[Twelve]

I also want to know what book you have with a minor publisher (and what defines minor/major publishers to you).

The book I just finished is actually a sequel to the book I already published, which I hope to re-publish in a "major" way.

For me, a "minor" publisher is one that offers no contracts and doesn't help to promote a book...there are thousands of those around.

I want to avoid internet publishing, self-publishing...I want to go big-time. I want a contract for someone to BUY my work, and then I want them to help promote it.

12

[***Duo***]

I can't wait.
I love reading novels.
Get that thing Published!!
:rtfm:
:wink2:


-Duo

[kegsworth]

..

[Twelve]

Im a massive writer

Ack! Don't leave without telling us what you're working on!!!

12

[The Exile]

Do we get to find out the book's name or what it's about? :wink2:

[Forest_Archer]

I've written some small stories that have went to State competitions and things like that. One of them was called "The Mouse and the Cheese." Original title, I know, but we were thinking of making it into a picture book and getting it published.

[kegsworth]

..

[Xenon]

Sounds cool 12, get that book of yours published as soon as possible... Or else :D

[finalfantasyt]

Congrats, 12! I love fantasy books, I look forward to reading yours as soon as it comes out. :)

I enjoy writing, but I've never been able to get very far in a project. The most I've ever done for one story is about three chapters. I just can't get involved in a big idea for a story...but with short stories etc, I'm pretty good.

[Hellblazer]

When it's published I want to know the name of the book and the author. I look forward to reading it.:bigsmile:
Dude! Congrats. I want to read it too.

PS: In maybe a year I'll have my book finished.

[Realist]

Extremely cool. :cool:

I write all the time, but I don't have the dedication to write anything big. I'm currently working on a few minor projects though.

What's the book you already have published?

Good luck!

[Gnosis]

I'm a writer on the side I guess. ;) I would write all the time but I am uber busy as of late.
I am in the middle of a project (fantasy) that I have been doing for almost a year now. Its coming really slow. I only have twenty pages done so far. The thing is, I started the projct thinking I was skilled enough to write an intelligent decent novel. Being still in high school, I find myself gathering more insight into writing every month, causing me to go back and edit it every time I have a chance to write. So every step I go forward in the story, I end up two steps backwards.

Its coming though.. heck it took Hemmingway ten years to finish The Old Man And The Sea, and its only a hundred pages!

[Daemon Bloodmaw]

I read a ton as a kid, always wanted to write and now I'm just having trouble committing.

I've got the characters laid out, a plot, everything. Just need to force myself to sit down and do it.

I was working on a website for the characters but never uploaded the finished files. Hm.

[Sage Thief]

12...I cant believe we have a writer here in OUR forums plp!!!Make sure to edit in the book real quick puting us in theyre like at the end give a shout out to us or something like this"thanks for the support from TAO":D you dont have to but it would be cool eh?
I bet afterwards youll become filthy famous and forget us..:cray:

[old_man_killer]

Congrats 12, I look forward to purchasing a first edition which I'll send to you for the proper autograph.:)

[Sage Thief]

Good idea OMK I think ill do the same...:bigsmile: and then send it to get autographed by you.:cool:

[old_man_killer]

Hmmm, 12 you might want to get yourself a bigger mailbox. LOL:rolleyes:

[Sage Thief]

Maybe he has the mailbox thing thats on his door..;) :cool: :D

[Warcow]

Very cool Twelve, I also have some aspirations to be a writer one day, so I'm incredibly jealous you're out there doing it right now.

I'm also incredibly pleased that it's in the fantasy genre, which is what I like to read and write.

What I'm trying to say is that the moment your book hits the shelf, I'll be your first customer.

[bludhoundz]

Love fantasy books, so (like Realist said) what is the title of the first one?

For those of you who don't know who the author will be.. its at the end of this post (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showpost.php?p=554802&postcount=10001)
Yes, I am helping you advertise that post also :)
Good luck with the major publishing Twelve :)

[emerald slasher]

meh put in a ps thanks all taoers/netjakers in the author biography :p

seriously man i can hardly wait for this thing to hit the stores or me having to order it via email.

can we have the title atleast?...or do i have to bug pixel :p

[>C H A l N]

Yeah, cool, congratulations and umm Put "Tux Man" in all caps on the cover ok? Ok, thanks dude.

[dirka dirka]

Cool, cool... can you summerize it up at all? Maybe give us some plot insight?


... or is that not allowed?

[Hellblazer]

Cool, cool... can you summerize it up at all? Maybe give us some plot insight?


... or is that not allowed?
That would be on the back cover anyway. Please, give us a sneak peek.

[Madars]

Wow,i never knew you are writing a book. :dry:

Anyway.....

Im not a writer myself,in fact i hate writing,but my mom is doing the same (or simmilar) thing you are.She hasnt been a writer too long but shes writing all the time,she is just trying to get something published or sponsored or whatever you call this shit.

And 12,you got my word i will buy your book if i see it being sold anywhere....as long as it doesnt cost too much :p .........

Well good luck with getting it published man.

-Mad-

[ironhorse123]

Major props 12. I really hope you do well with this book, and if it comes out, I would love to read it! Again, congrats. I hope you find a good publisher! :bigsmile:

[Hydrant]

whoa. awesome

Ive always wanted to write a screenplay, but could never get motivated to do more than a few scenes

so bully for you for actually finishing!

[HorNeT]

...now I just have to get it published.

I've been working like crazy on a project for that past 2 years, a book. I finished last week. I write like crazy, and it only took 2 years because as many of you know I crossed the Atlantic recently and it took me awhile to get that "writer's peace" again and rediscover my muse.

My dream is to be a writer and I've been doing it since I learned how to spell. Since then, I've put together a huge portfolio of a wide variety of writing, but never did I have the time or stability to put a book together until after college.

But now I've done it. It's a book of the fantasy genre, which I'm SERIOUS about getting published. I will not rest until I have a contract with a major publisher (because I already have a book published with a minor one...my advice to all is not to go that route), and as of this week I will begin that process.

I must first make sure the book is airtight. Then I need to find someone to edit it (already have an idea as to who will do this, but I need to grill her to make sure she's professional first), and that will cost a lot of money. Then it's off to finding agents and publishers...to "sell" the idea of my book to them.

I've been keeping this very hush-hush for awhile, but now I'm so excited about actually being DONE that I had to tell people...just had to!

I would like to know of other writers in the TAO world, and what you're doing!!!!

Let's talk!

12
Is that wy you type so much in every post? :p

[Oisin]

Great! I can not wait to read this. I'm a huge fan of fantasy. Who knows, you could become the next Christopher Paolini. But older.

[Hugh Junit]

That's awesome, Twelve. Congratulations on a major accomplishment.
I'm a huge fan of fantasy novels, so I expect an oppurtunity to read yours.
Of course, once it's published, that won't be a problem.
:cool:

[Madars]

12,you should make a fantasy book called Harry Pothead.That would pawn....i could also be in it.:)

-Mad-

P.S Dont forget us when you are famous!

[Sage Thief]

12,you should make a fantasy book called Harry Pothead.That would pawn....i could also be in it.:)

-Mad-

P.S Dont forget us when you are famous!


Dont ever....ever...ever steal a name from a show/movie or whever you got that again...That just wasnt cool...:dry:

but anyways still got mad respect for ya bro

[Dove]

12, awesome job, bro. I'll be expecting a signed version as a birthday gift when I turn 17 in December.

[Elentari]

That sounds sweet, Twelve. *repeats what everyone else has said*

When I was about 12, I think, I decided to write a romance novel. I got to about "Charlene was a girl." and decided that maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

Anywho. I wish you luck with the editing and publishing :). Hope to read it soonish.

[emerald slasher]

hehehe o and i want a signed copy :p

[ko71991]

Dude...

I want:
-A free signed copy of the book.
-A lampshade to read under.
-And 2 weeks to read it.

:)

[old_man_killer]

I think some of you people are missing a serious point here. Twelve wants to be published by a major publishing house.....hence, he wants to get paid! Giving away free copies would defeat the purpose.:mad:

[Dove]

I think some of you people are missing a serious point here. Twelve wants to be published by a major publishing house.....hence, he wants to get paid! Giving away free copies would defeat the purpose.:mad:

...

:(

Fine. OMK, I'll be expecting you to purchase a copy of Twelve's book, pay for him to autograph it, and send it to me for my birthday when I turn 17 in December.

[old_man_killer]

...

:(

Fine. OMK, I'll be expecting you to purchase a copy of Twelve's book, pay for him to autograph it, and send it to me for my birthday when I turn 17 in December.


:confused:

[Jeffery]

Damnit, I am already willing to buy his first book. He won;t tell me the name though.

[andalite]

Awesome :) I look forward to seeing it on the shelves :)

[22woger22]

Will they be for sale in Australia?

Can you include something about me in the book? Since it's a fantasy genre, how about you create a super god called TuTu with magical powers that can fry clowns that are crispy enough to eat?

:wink2:

Hope it becomes a best-seller. :)

[kegsworth]

..

[old_man_killer]

OK now you've all done it. You silly bunch of Twelve stalking groupies have scared him away. :mad:

[kegsworth]

..

[Shiny Flors]

Hey Twelve,

I'm writing a book too, kinda. I'm writing a thesis for the research I do for my Master's degree that will eventually be put into a book. Other parts of the research will be published in a scientific journal once more of the story is figured out. So while I won't get any money by selling the book to a publisher I'll have my name on a few journal articles. I know not as exciting as a fantsy novel but it is still a book, kinda.

Good luck with your novel. I guessed you were writing a book of poetry based on your title "poet-gamer" but a novel is exciting too.

[Twelve]

Once again, thanx for the props guys, and the encouragement. I'll need it. I began the second phase this morning of "tightening" my work. A much faster process than actually writing it but it'll still take some time. Got through the prologue and chapter 1 this morning. 49 chapters in all.

Do we get to find out the book's name or what it's about?

It's hard to condense the book in anyway (did a word count this morning and it's 110,000 words) but I'm going to "sell" it to the publishers by saying, among other things, that it's something of a combination of the Matrix and the Hobbit. Think of fantasy in two worlds, though set in medieval times. The name I'm thinking of giving it at the moment is "The First Epistle of Peleg"

I've written some small stories that have went to State competitions and things like that. One of them was called "The Mouse and the Cheese." Original title, I know, but we were thinking of making it into a picture book and getting it published.

Awesome! I encourage you to do so and tell us of your experiences! It's hard to make a picture book, though...because it's really hard to find an artist who's willing to go all the way with you without being payed for their work.

12,
I have written a plethra of small to medium sized stories that have been entered into state competitions-similar to Forest_Archer- that have won a few trophies. What has kept me busy as of late is my band...i write the lyrics as well as playing the drums. I would love to write a book but I dont have the kind of patience that that kind of thing entails...lol. If you wanna give me feedback on my band then that would be awesome...ill give you the url:http://www.christianitytoday.com/mus...ts/pax217.html
Best of wishes with your book and please post the title when you are finished...lol

A BAND? Dude...you've got a whole other artistic field that you're on and it looks to me as you've got a heck of a good start. Personally, I would forget the book for not and focus on that!

What's the book you already have published?

I'm not happy with that book, so I would rather keep that undercover to be honest. :bigsmile: The publisher really screwed me over with it and didn't do what I expected with the presentation... my goal is to re-publish that eventually. But for right now, I would rather just keep that book in the closet!

I am in the middle of a project (fantasy) that I have been doing for almost a year now. Its coming really slow. I only have twenty pages done so far. The thing is, I started the projct thinking I was skilled enough to write an intelligent decent novel. Being still in high school, I find myself gathering more insight into writing every month, causing me to go back and edit it every time I have a chance to write. So every step I go forward in the story, I end up two steps backwards.

Let me ask you...

Do you have the entire story already summarized on paper? A brief outline of what happens in each chapter?

I've got the characters laid out, a plot, everything. Just need to force myself to sit down and do it.

Can I refer the same question I gave to Gnosis to you?

For those of you who don't know who the author will be.

That's my real name, but I'm most likely going to write under a pen name. There's a very good writer out there named "Avi" and I'm probably going to do something short and sweet like that.

Cool, cool... can you summerize it up at all? Maybe give us some plot insight?

Obviously I don't want to say too much since if indeed a publisher buys it, they're not going to want to have the story out on the internet. But it is fantasy work and it contains elements and idealism that might be found closest in works such as the Matrix and the Hobbit. But even that is just the best comparison I can make.

Damnit, I am already willing to buy his first book. He won;t tell me the name though.

I really don't want anyone buying the first one. That was my "experiment" in the publishing world, and I've learned my lessons. I want to keep those private. :blush2:

Will they be for sale in Australia?

Heck yeah. Don't worry about that.

hey 12,
if your ever at a signing convention please post when and where...im sure everyone here would love to be there.

Key, I plan on letting everyone know the major steps of this process...which is why I began this thread. I wanted to have a writers discussion here.

Hey Twelve,

I'm writing a book too, kinda. I'm writing a thesis for the research I do for my Master's degree that will eventually be put into a book. Other parts of the research will be published in a scientific journal once more of the story is figured out. So while I won't get any money by selling the book to a publisher I'll have my name on a few journal articles. I know not as exciting as a fantsy novel but it is still a book, kinda.

Good luck with your novel. I guessed you were writing a book of poetry based on your title "poet-gamer" but a novel is exciting too.

See, scientific writing is a very TOUGH thing to do...I applaude your efforts man. Let us know when it's published!

When I used the expression "poet" in my sig, I was just using the general meaning of the word. :) I actually hate poetry...lol.

Thanx guys...this means a lot and I'm actually feeling like you guys are my friends.

12

[Jeffery]

I refuse your refusal of your first book.

And, since you are not the Alex T. that wrote those two children books in the religious market, I'll have to assume you didn;t use your own name then either.

But I will find it. I WILL

[Daemon Bloodmaw]

It's all written down in my head if it counts ;)

[Twelve]

Actually, Jeff, I DID write those two children's books. I just found out this morning that they've been published...lol! What a surprise! I wrote those back in Switzerland but I never knew that they were actually published. I googled my name this morning and found out that they were! LOL!!!

No, serious...this is a surprise to me.

You probably will find the other non-children book I wrote but I do ask that you keep it to yourself if you do. Seriously, bro.

Daemon, see, that's my point...I assure you that you'll actually finish that work if you write an outline of the entire story first. Just a quick review of every chapter.

Then, when you actually write it, you don't have to waste energy and time figuring out how things will go anymore. You have the plot in your head...not just get a wee bit more specific and outline each chapter.

12

[kegsworth]

..

[tarvos 6]

Ive been told many times that I should be a writer, but I was also told it doesnt pay very well. Im still sticking to my plan of winning the lottery. Congrats on the book, hope its a best seller.

tarvos 6

[Twelve]

Ive been told many times that I should be a writer, but I was also told it doesnt pay very well. Im still sticking to my plan of winning the lottery. Congrats on the book, hope its a best seller.

tarvos 6

Winning the lottery and actually being a well-paid published writer are both comparable chances, man. :)

Thanx.

Kegs, pm me right quick.

12

[Learz]

How to write a best selling fantasy novel.

Every since "The Lord of the Rings", epic fantasy novels have been high on the bestseller list. Every thought of writing one?
WELL HERE'S HOW.

Structure

1. Create a main character.
Most of the people who read your book will be unconfident males. So make your main character a Loser. Aimless, shy, cowardly, guilty, ill, lazy, rural - any of these will do.

2. Create a Quest.
Out of the blue, the Loser must be suddenly told that the fate of the whole world – or some other world - rests in his incompetent hands. To save the world he must perform some task, confront some nameless foe, learn some mysterious skill etc.

3. Create a Motley Bunch of Companions.
The Loser/Hero must have a Motley Bunch of Companions drawn from different human species e.g. dwarf, elf, Rotarian etc. Each of these companions will have one particular skill such as sword fighting, lasso twirling etc which will come in handy at a particular part of the story.


4. Create a Wise but Useless Guide.
The Guide is wise adviser who knows all about the Quest, but never fully reveals it. He also appears to have immense powers but will not use them when they are most required.
(See Part 7: "Make it Long.")

5. Create the Land
The first thing the Motley Bunch must do is travel some phenomenal distance through an assortment of vastly different terrains and climates. All Fantasy Lands have every conceivable form of climate and landform - mountains, deserts, swamps, glaciers, forests - arranged randomly across the landscape contrary to any known principles of geography or ecology.

Note: All fantasy worlds are roughly square. i.e. the shape of the double page of a paperback.

6. Create the Enemy
Every Fantasy Land has a Dark Enemy, an almost omnipotent ArchVillain who is trying to utterly destroy it. It is not clear how the ArchVillain benefits from this. This Villain always has access to vast armies which require no food, payment or other provisioning and can travel thousands of mile and lay siege to cities without any need for a catering corps. For all this, the Enemy is completely dependant on some insignificant object such as a ring or a piece of rock for his power.

7. Make it long.
The important thing about an epic fantasy novel is that the reader must be exhausted at the end of it. They must feel that they have overcome as many obstacles in getting through the book as the heroes have in fulfilling the quest. So the book must be as difficult to read as possible. To do this:

(a) Tell the story in incredible detail. Describe every day of the journey, how far they walked, what they ate, the weather, where they slept, especially days where nothing happens.

(b) Fill every dramatic situation with lengthy introspection. At every moment of crisis the hero must minutely examine his feelings, perceptions, identity, whether he left the gas on etc.

(c) Never take the easy way out of a crisis. For example, if the Wizard Guide holds great power, he will never use it to solve a situation. To illustrate.

WRONG

Groll turned his grisly head and raised the black shaft to strike. ‘Use the Gnarlstone" cried Stephen. "No worries" said Gordian and the venerable wizard raised the orb and muttered the Arnic words "Hastalavista". A bright flash flared and the Troll King slumped into a pile of grey-green mush.

RIGHT.

Groll turned his grisly head and raised the black shaft to strike. ‘Use the Gnarlstone" cried Stephen. "No" said the wizard sagely. "If we use the Gnarlstone for harm we will only increase the power of the Enemy." Then the shaft struck and Gimlet the Dwarf fell cloven."

If Wizards and Lords actually used their magical powers they wouldn’t need the Loser/Hero to save them and the book will be over in a hundred pages. So, although wizards can bring trees to life, summon spirits from earth and sky, they have to use guile to defeat the stupidest troll.

At the same time you will need to find ways to:


8. Skip the hard parts.
Despite the need to keep the book long, some bits are just too hard to write. A thousand mile journey by foot is long, but easy to write. Battles on the other hand are hard because there’s a lot going on and you probably require some knowledge of military strategy. So if you’re writing a battle scene and it’s just getting too hard, simply have the hero suffer a wound and lapse into unconsciousness: e.g.

"… then suddenly his head exploded and a mist enveloped him and he felt himself falling down into an ethereal tangible blackness. Badcolds’s sword, still swinging through the air, seemed caught, imprisoned in time. The sound of the battle was suddenly a long way away but just as he closed his eyes and the black cloud engulfed him he thought he heard someone crying from the grassy knoll, "The Toasters are coming. The Toasters are coming."

Voile. Next thing our hero wakes on a white alabaster slab in the Healing Room where the Pure Maiden Warrior (see "Characters" below) tells him that the battle is over and, Guess what? They won! Result: you've saved 50 pages of intricate military description.

For other difficult plot points such as Impassable Mountain Ranges see "Caves" below.

9. Lead up to a cataclysmic battle.
Although the Enemy’s powers are magical, for some reason he must always try to defeat the good guys with good old fashioned hand to hand combat. No matter how much magic power a wizard, king or queen has, they will always end up charging around a battlefield slashing away with a sword.

10. Kill almost everybody.
The Loser/Hero must achieve his goal, gain the power, discover the secret word or whatever only at the last possible moment when all seems lost. To do this it will be necessary to make him fall down and twist his ankle, have an identity crisis, become enchanted etc continually on his way to the goal. Most of the Motley Bunch must die in terrible pain and degradation before the Loser/Hero gets his act together. This is to keep us mad at the Enemy, thought it is basically the Loser/Hero's fault for being so slow and incompetent.

Okay. Now let’s look at some other key points.

Bad Expendables.
It will be necessary to create Bad Expendables. These are the orcs, goblins, trolls, dragons, wights or any other creatures that we are happy to kill in their thousands. They are usually black, hairy, sweaty or in some other way unacceptable by middle class Caucasian standards. Often they are deformed, based on the traditional belief that an ugly body reflects an ugly soul. It is our way of doing a service to the sick and disabled by reminding readers that people who are disfigured look that way because they’re evil.

Note that in Fantasy Lands the concept of reform or rehabilitation is unknown. All allies, minions, vassals and instruments of the Enemy must be summarily killed even if they served their master primarily out of fear.

Tough Old Warriors
All fantasy novels must have an elite brotherhood of highly trained, pathologically loyal, hereditary fighters. These are invariably sturdy, sullen and have livid scars, one eye missing, only one arm etc. Contrary to reality, the more injuries they bear, the greater their fighting skills.

Pure Maiden Warriors.
Losers are scared of sexuality or dependency in women, so women in fantasy novels are so powerful and pure they make Joan of Arc look like Pamela Anderson. They are strong, noble, loyal, brave, high-bred and usually die in the end – well what else are we going to with them? They’re too scary to marry, and no one in Epic Fantasy Novels ever has sex.

Body Types.
Skinny people are wily and intelligent, big strong bear-like people are invariably dumb.

[Learz]

Character Names.
To make Character Names, just run some nonsense syllables together until it looks like a foreign language. If they are unpronounceable they will be seem even more authentic. "Y"s, "H"s and apostrophes add an exotic feeling. Words like "Dn’a’brht", "ynhazzmhn", "jbreheh’m" are all acceptable.

It is a good idea to throw in a few names which are just normal English words combined randomly: "Rusk Montana", "Heron Alibi" or "Ermine Dayglo".

Technology
Fantasy Worlds always have inexplicable gaps in their technology. They are ruled by councils of venerable sages who are the guardians of the accumulated learning of thousands of years and yet have never got around to inventing anything that might actually help them against wights, trolls and orcs - such as a .44 Magnum. Many Fantasy Worlds possess fine metal working, word-working and the ability to make crossbows, catapults and elaborate secret trapdoors but have no wheeled transport.

Note: Fantasy Worlds never have working economies. Very few people work, there is little agriculture and it is not clear where food comes from.

Magic
When wizards shoot blasts of magic at each other the Good Wizard's fire is always blue, and Bad Wizard' is always green or red.

Dwellings
There are three sorts of dwellings in fantasy novels – caves, huts and castles.

Caves are the fantasy writer’s best friend. They are the locations for hidden weapons, centres of wisdom, hide-outs of monsters etc. They require very little description and can be joined together to make a labyrinth. As in Hollywood, all caves have flat floors.

Caves are also useful if you find you have written yourself into a corner by creating an insuperable geographic obstacle such as an Impassable Mountain Range etc. This can be simply solved by taking the Motley Bunch of Companions underground. When they emerge from the tunnels- after days of walking in pitch darkness - they find themselves miraculously on the other side of the Impassable Mountains or whatever. The writer has also saved writing fifty pages of detailed description.

Huts are always in remote locations. Anyone who lives in a hut is simple and good.

Castles are always "hewn from the living rock" whatever that means. Rooms in castles are almost completely bare with a minimum of decoration.

The Enemy's Stronghold.
The Loser/Hero must eventually penetrate the Enemy's Stronghold. This is never particularly hard to do. Stronghold sentries are never alert and Loser/Heroes can always approach to within 20 feet of the most heavily guarded installation without being detected.

Even the most heavily fortified stronghold always has small unguarded side door where the garbage goes out. Once inside the Enemy's Castle there is only a smattering of people walking casually about. The Loser/Hero will be able to penetrate right into the Enemy's most inner sanctum without being detected.

Note: the Enemy's fatal flaw will always be that he is over-confident.

That's all you need to know.

So get writing and start your career as an Epic Fantasy Novelist today.

:p



(Props to Zarex.)

hmm....... 10901 charecters. Sorry about the double post.

[dirka dirka]

Obviously I don't want to say too much since if indeed a publisher buys it, they're not going to want to have the story out on the internet. But it is fantasy work and it contains elements and idealism that might be found closest in works such as the Matrix and the Hobbit. But even that is just the best comparison I can make.
Woo... actually sounds like I might be reading a book for once.

[Twelve]

Learz...haha....

That sounds more like a Dungeons and Dragons videogame than a book. And every writer knows those rules...trick is to be original. You can't go too far from certain basics, but...

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[WaCk-HeAd]

Consider me pissed of.

I feel left out! Why all you could tell us was to shut up about it and not give us details while throwing it all over the forums only a few days later without even telling us?!

Though I'd freaking LOVE to read it and want to have the manuscript! Please don't make me have to steal it.

[old_man_killer]

i was wondering......lol...cuz i found those childrens books too....i also found what i think to be your other book.....lol...no worries...you secret is safe with me.

Kegsworth, I can only find the name of one of the childrens books, so PM me the other names.:bigsmile:

[kegsworth]

..

[Twelve]

Wack-- Way to make me feel guilty, bro! Heck, if you want I'll send you a paragraph or something...lol.

Keg--Seriously, I'm not proud of my first book...and one of the reasons I kept hush-hush about any of my writing is due to this. But I figured it was time to at least begin a writing discussion. But I trust you all that if you do find it you'll keep it to yourself, and I appreciate the fact that there are those who HAVE found it and ARE keeping it to themselves. Word.

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[Shiny Flors]

I just finished a first draft to the introduction of my thesis. Anyone want to critic it?

[kegsworth]

..

[Twelve]

Huh? Where am I supposed to be offended? Lol.

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[allstarGL]

Madd props twelve. I wish I could, wtire a book. You r a champ. I hope you will let us know what it is so we can purchase it and make you bigger then stephen king :p

[Twelve]

Thanx, Allstar. I plan on updating this thread with any significant progress I make with this mission. I'm currently still in the "check book over for any plot holes" stage.

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[kegsworth]

..

[old_man_killer]

I'm offended. I want to get those early works before you get famous!

[Megabyte]

Good for you 12, takes some serious dedication to get a solid book written out. Best of luck on gettin the publishing deal you're hoping for.

[the gray]

So, here we are, a little over a year later . . . any books or writings that you'd like to share with us? Thought we'd forget, did you? ;)

Oh, I forgot the traditional *Bump!*.

:)

[Twelve]

Oh...dang...has it been a year?

Woah...

Wow, well, it's funny you bring this up because today I re-started my search for an agent/publisher of this work. Odd.

I had to take a break from this hunt to search for and orient myself with a new job. (Writing a book doesn't make money unless it's actually published...hehe). Now that I've done that, I've returned to the hunt.

It's not easy. I had an editor go through and make sure the manuscript was airtight. But the hunt for an agent is a long one...I've brought this work to a professional level over a year but still have not managed to get an agent to truly bite.

But I'm not giving up.

As for other works, I've only written public speeches and the occasional game review here and there.

But like I said, today was the day when I began to get back into the hunt. We must have the same muse, Gray.

Peace and thanx for asking,
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[the gray]

Oh...dang...has it been a year?

Woah...

Wow, well, it's funny you bring this up because today I re-started my search for an agent/publisher of this work. Odd.

I had to take a break from this hunt to search for and orient myself with a new job. (Writing a book doesn't make money unless it's actually published...hehe). Now that I've done that, I've returned to the hunt.

It's not easy. I had an editor go through and make sure the manuscript was airtight. But the hunt for an agent is a long one...I've brought this work to a professional level over a year but still have not managed to get an agent to truly bite.

But I'm not giving up.

As for other works, I've only written public speeches and the occasional game review here and there.

But like I said, today was the day when I began to get back into the hunt. We must have the same muse, Gray.

Peace and thanx for asking,
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Hey, it's great that you're still motivated in that direction. Especially after finding a new job, and life's usual trials. After finding this thread, I was intrigued as to what your next work of art was going to be . . . perhaps you could give us a brief description? :)

Best of luck finding an agent, and let us know when it hit's the big-time! I wanna be one of the first to buy it and have it autographed.

Have a good weekend. I'm out 'til monday.

[Cuathon]

i want to see this book of yours or the older one. whats the title of one of them?

[Elentari]

Cuath, did you read the thread? Twelve obviously does not want people to find or read the older book. He already said what the title of the newer one would be, but I think he'd have to publish it before you could read it.

[speaker4thedead]

Many people wouldnt think it of me but I can be serious when I want to, and have written my book and some "agents" interested in it but I pulled out due to being to busy with my girl friend and familly problems, So when ya get a release date let me know 12.

[Jeffery]

Cuath, did you read the thread? Twelve obviously does not want people to find or read the older book. He already said what the title of the newer one would be, but I think he'd have to publish it before you could read it.
I happen to have bugged him enough to get the name of his first book.....

I keep forgetting to order a copy though. :(

[Zander]

When it's published I want to know the name of the book and the author. I look forward to reading it.:bigsmile:
-_-

[mantis33]

This book sucks. ;)

So... I didn't read it, is it any good? :p

[speaker4thedead]

None of us have read it moron.

[Hugh Junit]

.........

[Lordofzrings]

Congrats 12, check your PMS!

I am obviously a Fantasy reader and writer check out my stuffs

http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25327

http://Lordofzrings.deviantart.com

[mantis33]

None of us have read it moron.

Apparently you havn't read the dictionary where it has "sarcasm" either. ;)

[Cuathon]

Cuath, did you read the thread? Twelve obviously does not want people to find or read the older book. He already said what the title of the newer one would be, but I think he'd have to publish it before you could read it.

i read it when it was first made but that was long ago.

i wonder if my super secret search technique can help me find the old one.

to my annoyance all i can find is the childrens books. time to actually read the thread.

i believe i have found the story but i wont tell anyone. it did take me nearly 30 minutes. but once i was able to access my brain(i was so dumb lol) i found it easily.


man the place i bought your book from charegd my nearly 23$ including shipping and handling. maybe i bought it in hardcover.

[Eindeg-Dein]

This is 12 logging in real quick from a job-related trip in Alabama...I don't have time to go through all of the posts and reply until later(and I'm logging in as this account to save my other posts), but...

Cuathon, I REALLY hope that you didn't get the book because I really didn't want people to read it. It's un-polished and published through a company that did a poor job with its presentation. It's full of flaws. Seriously, I hope you didn't get it.

I have to fly now but I'll be back. Dude, refund that mess...SERIOUSLY. I'm not fooling. Thanx for wanting to get it but it's an embarrassment to me.

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[Soda]

It is better than what we will ever make Twelve, so don't worry. :)

[sayter]

grats, twelve. If you want to publish with a COMPANY, im not sure where to start. Id suggest sending it around to companies though. But if you want to SELF publish, check out LuLu here on the net. they do publishign for a vERY reasonable fee. Im guessing its a novel, which means youd save on not having hardcover, and additionally for no color or fancy formatting, or need for specific bleeds set on the pages.

if you want a barnes and noble type deal though, im unsure on how that works. I imagine its much like auditioning for a movie, except the people you are "performing" for are vastly more intelligent and interesting.

[Cuathon]

details arent very important. ie. i have imagination and realism issues. this allows me to read way mroe than normla people and not get bored. granted 23$ for 1 hour or 2 of entertainment is a lot, but i didnt pay for it. :)

i see kinda what you mean, cause i checked out the online version. but i cant read online books, its just not the same. no worries though. i dont do judgement. i read the only customer review and it said the book was awesome but im not sure if the person was just weird or if that was the publisher(i have seen publishers do that.) the real issue seems to be bad editing.

[Twelve]

Hey, it's great that you're still motivated in that direction. Especially after finding a new job, and life's usual trials. After finding this thread, I was intrigued as to what your next work of art was going to be . . . perhaps you could give us a brief description? :)



As much as I love to write, I still have to make sure there's a constant inflow of money to actually LIVE, you know?

As for the next work, if I can't find a place for my manuscript, I'm going to jump into writing short stories and getting published in magazines to build my rep.

Twelve obviously does not want people to find or read the older book. He already said what the title of the newer one would be, but I think he'd have to publish it before you could read it.

Very true. Trust me, as soon as this new work is published, I'll let folks know. You know me.

Many people wouldnt think it of me but I can be serious when I want to, and have written my book and some "agents" interested in it but I pulled out due to being to busy with my girl friend and familly problems, So when ya get a release date let me know 12.

Did you seriously have agents interested in your work? Please do tell more.

I keep forgetting to order a copy though.

Just don't.

grats, twelve. If you want to publish with a COMPANY, im not sure where to start. Id suggest sending it around to companies though. But if you want to SELF publish, check out LuLu here on the net. they do publishign for a vERY reasonable fee. Im guessing its a novel, which means youd save on not having hardcover, and additionally for no color or fancy formatting, or need for specific bleeds set on the pages.

if you want a barnes and noble type deal though, im unsure on how that works. I imagine its much like auditioning for a movie, except the people you are "performing" for are vastly more intelligent and interesting.

I can always go the self-publishing route...but who has time to promote their own stuff? (and make money?)

I'm knee deep in the whole world of publishing...I know the ins and outs. People are indeed more intelligent AND interesting...and also much more tight and conceited.

details arent very important. ie. i have imagination and realism issues. this allows me to read way mroe than normla people and not get bored. granted 23$ for 1 hour or 2 of entertainment is a lot, but i didnt pay for it.

i see kinda what you mean, cause i checked out the online version. but i cant read online books, its just not the same. no worries though. i dont do judgement. i read the only customer review and it said the book was awesome but im not sure if the person was just weird or if that was the publisher(i have seen publishers do that.) the real issue seems to be bad editing.

Exactly. I've never heard a bad review about the actual work, but the publishing company screwed me over in terms of their responsibility in editing. Hence, I never go THAT route again. It's a rather lousy situation that I have plans to fix one day, but not before I get this work here published.

Thanx for the kind words.

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