Richard Simmons

[sayter]

Note to those unable to detect humour: this and the Gene Simmons unit are jokes only, and I dont intend for them to be included in any way in TAO :)

HP:1
Block:90% (front AND sides)
Armor:1
Movement:9
Recovery:1
Attack Power:Special

Richard Simmons is a feared unit, despite his abysmal HP and armor. Because he spends so much time Sweatin' to the Oldies, he moves extremely quickly. He crosses vast distances (and can leap over opposing units as if he were a GA boulder) and attacks the enemy with his power of overwhelming femininity.

Any units within 4 tiles of The Simmons suffer a horrible coma-state as they are assaulted by his astounding lack of masculinity. They are taken to 1 hp instantly, and are unable to attack so long as The Simmons is nearby. This ALSO affects friendly units.

Strategy: No human on earth can withstand the overwhelming eccentricity of Richard Simmons. Similarly, no person in their right mind should ever field this unit. Rumor has it that to do so results in a sound beating with a heavy, blunt object.

[Hellblazer]

Meh.:dry:

[sayter]

And, any unit Richard Simmons comes within 1 tile of isntantly becaomes a SECOND richard simmons.even your own units.

[Wizzy`]

I love you, Sayter. Marry me?

[sayter]

er..youll need to get in line, wizzy :) lol. I have several TAO hubby appointees it seems.

[Wizzy`]

er..youll need to get in line, wizzy :) lol. I have several TAO hubby appointees it seems.


:cray:

[sayter]

how about my pinky toe? you can have that. :) Preferably still attached to my body.

[Wizzy`]

how about my pinky toe? you can have that. :) Preferably still attached to my body.

Pinky toe. . . >_<

Thats er..fine :(

[mushroom_girl]

Note to those unable to detect humour: this and the Gene Simmons unit are jokes only, and I dont intend for them to be included in any way in TAO :)
Awww...
__________________________

EDIT: Wizzy! I thought we were supposed to get married! :( Asshat.

[Wizzy`]

Awww...
__________________________

EDIT: Wizzy! I thought we were supposed to get married! :( Asshat.

!
You never said that! You were all over Ko!

[mushroom_girl]

!
You never said that! You were all over Ko!
No. Ko and me are just friends with benefits.

You were supposed to marry me after I got back from making pale babies with Ach and taking over the world with Walrus.

You sicken me.

[Wizzy`]

No. Ko and me are just friends with benefits.

You were supposed to marry me after I got back from making pale babies with Ach and taking over the world with Walrus.

You sicken me.

No! i'm sorry!

:cray:!

I <3 you!

[sayter]

lol!

[Wizzy`]

lol!

:(

[mushroom_girl]

Aww, your siggy is so cute. I ♥ You too. :)

Now back to Richard Simmons...he's my idol.

[Wizzy`]

Aww, your siggy is so cute. I ♥ You too. :)

Now back to Richard Simmons...he's my idol.


Yay! Does this mean we can still get married? <.<

[mushroom_girl]

Sure, after I finish my plans. ;)

Now we should stop spamming Sayter's thread. We're bad people. *slaps wrist*

[Wizzy`]

Sure, after I finish my plans. ;)

Now we should stop spamming Sayter's thread. We're bad people. *slaps wrist*


Yay! :bigsmile:

Ok, Richard Simmons, he's awesome. Lets make him a tao unit.

[sayter]

richard simmons is the antichrist and must be stopped. GENE simmons is god :) lol

[Wizzy`]

richard simmons is the antichrist and must be stopped. GENE simmons is god :) lol

I never said Richard was God. ;)

[Dove]

*sigh*

Not even close to being realistic.

He's got to give your female units that he comes close to 30 extra HP and 10 extra attack power, plus the unbreakable focus spell of "Motivation".

Richard (Dick) is a powerful unit to run with a 9 Witch bomb. It's even better with 9 Chanties.

[uniquinous]

hey aren't you richard simmon's cousin... richard simmons? e ee e e e e ee e e e

[meat.eater]

All thats left is Keith Richards.

I can see it now.

"Special ability: Anyone within 3 tiles of Keith dies."

[sayter]

you are SO right....new power...Richard Simmons power of motivation makes all female units within 10 tiles follow him unerringly. And gain 400 pounds instantly.

[mantis33]

This is a pretty well balanced unit. I can tell you have put a lot of time and thought into this. Nice work. :)

[BaxVarlet]

I wonder if mantis knows this was a joke...

Only problem with this unit is, no male player could ever use it, in fact, I would have to delete it immediately, otherwise it would somehow contaminate the units I have in my settings screen.

[Dove]

I wonder if mantis knows this was a joke...

Only problem with this unit is, no male player could ever use it, in fact, I would have to delete it immediately, otherwise it would somehow contaminate the units I have in my settings screen.

Dragons would chop their wings off and revert to eggs... Knights would lay down their shields and dance, Furgons would grow happy forests all around and grow flowers in them...

Come to think of it, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

[mantis33]

I wonder if mantis knows this was a joke...

Only problem with this unit is, no male player could ever use it, in fact, I would have to delete it immediately, otherwise it would somehow contaminate the units I have in my settings screen.
I wonder if Bax knew that my post was also a joke... :p

[BaxVarlet]

I wonder if you wondered about me wondering about you wondering about my post being a joke brought on by me wondering about you wondering whether the unit was a joke or not.

[sayter]

in richards universe, wondering is illegal.

[So_Cold]

I hate joke units...they are pointless...

[PinkyBull]

Getting off the Wizzy <3 sayter (or his pinky toe) the unit is funny, but clever, I'm doubting it's serious but...:allok: (I tihink)

[PinkyBull]

I hate joke units...they are pointless...

This is sayter, he can't do anything pointless, anywayz it's fun to see, and kinda funny.

[demonicsquirrel]

sigh... stop necroing, especially with jokes

[Dove]

sigh... stop necroing, especially with jokes

...what are you talking about? This thread is just over a day old...

Joke units are some of the most fun out there. Chill out younguns :dry:

[BaxVarlet]

This is sayter, he can't do anything pointless, anywayz it's fun to see, and kinda funny.

she....Sayter is definately a chick.