What Job is Right for You?

[Cephas]

Prompted by the incessant whinings of peach-fuzz covered children disillusioned by a perceived lack of job prospects in their grim and foreboding future, I have decided to open up yet another advice column in order to help them ascertain the reality of their vague hopes of fame and fortune.

In reality, kegsworth deserves mention, for it was his latest question in the amazingly witty Inventive Solutions (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22803) thread that prompted me to begin doling out career advice.

What you want: Some direction for your rudderless ships. Career advice, in other words.

How you pay for it: I'm not extraordinarily expensive. Green rep for now, a 20th of your take-home income later.

What you get: Career advice from someone who has both been there and done that.

What I need from you: Give me a few strenghts and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. I'll find a match for you.

Fire away, oh ye of little fuzz!

[kegsworth]

He knows my name!!!! :wub: [/reserved for my first rep-paying question]

I like video games, basketball, girls, etc . . .

I dislike people who think they're good at a game and make me spend time out of my day proving them wrong.

I'm not weak, I'm kegsworth. ;)

Strength's . . . like I said, I'm kegsworth.

:p

[tyu]

Hi Cephas!

[freddyadu]

He knows my name!!!! :wub: [/reserved for my first rep-paying question]

Congrats, kegs your 1,000th post.

[Cephas]

Hi Cephas!
Likes: Cephas.
Dislikes: uh... Cephas?
Strenghts: Likes Cephas!
Weaknesses: Dislikes Cephas?

This is a tough one. You seem to have a love/hate relationship with me. I suggest you become a Cephas groupie. The pay isn't great, but you can bask in my refracted glory. :cool:

[Cephas]

Congrats, kegs your 1,000th post.
Likes: kegsworth
Dislikes: Using entire names.
Strenghts: Observant, perhaps?
Weaknesses: Incapable of stringing together a proper sentence.

You have your calling as a professional mannequin. You can observe all you want, but are no longer permitted to interact with the outside world. Salary prospects: pretty slim. Sucks to be you.

Come on folks, give me more to work with! I'll deal with kegsworth once he actually has something to work with. I'm not doing any more career profiles until I have more information here.

[tyu]

Likes: Cephas.
Dislikes: uh... Cephas?
Strenghts: Likes Cephas!
Weaknesses: Dislikes Cephas?

This is a tough one. You seem to have a love/hate relationship with me. I suggest you become a Cephas groupie. The pay isn't great, but you can bask in my refracted glory. :cool:
Sounds good. :)

[Aro23r]

Thread's not even fifteen minutes old, give it time.

[Memnarch]

I like not doing shit. I am in sales now, so i have to do something to get paid. Is there a job for me? I was thinking politics.

[freddyadu]

Likes: kegsworth
Dislikes: Using entire names.
Strenghts: Observant, perhaps?
Weaknesses: Incapable of stringing together a proper sentence.

You have your calling as a professional mannequin. You can observe all you want, but are no longer permitted to interact with the outside world. Salary prospects: pretty slim. Sucks to be you.

Come on folks, give me more to work with! I'll deal with kegsworth once he actually has something to work with. I'm not doing any more career profiles until I have more information here.

Half of this is incorrect. Everyone calls him kegs for short. I highly doubt my future career would be a professional mannequin. But it would be amazing if you were right.

[Jeffery]

Um. I like people. I like to drive. I am good at handling cash. I can drive anything with more than one wheel. I like drunk people. I rarely run people over by accident.

[Cephas]

I like not doing shit. I am in sales now, so i have to do something to get paid. Is there a job for me? I was thinking politics.
You don't like doing things, but you don't specifically state that you are in it for the money. I think that a position as a mannequin has just opened up, as freddyadu has stated that he feels he is not up to the rigours of that calling.
Half of this is incorrect. Everyone calls him kegs for short. I highly doubt my future career would be a professional mannequin. But it would be amazing if you were right.
It is not a matter of Cephas being correct or incorrect, but rather it is a matter where you need to shift your perceptions. Don't look too disdainfully upon your future calling. If you go into the workforce as anything but a professional mannequin, you are doomed to displeasure and disillusionment with your life.
Um. I like people. I like to drive. I am good at handling cash. I can drive anything with more than one wheel. I like drunk people. I rarely run people over by accident.
Well, that's a shame. Apparently you don't have a lucrative career as a unicycle driver ahead of you. I've heard its a good place for a clown to start. So, one-wheeled prospects aside (some vocational training might help), let's see... You are destined to work for Hugh as a hired hitman, deliberately running over people as he sees fit, just remember that they are not people once they are roadkill :bigsmile:. You can anticipate working closely together with Ach.

[Memnarch]

LMFAO! I am definitely in it for the money.

[Anarchy_United]

I'm lazy, I'm ugly, I'm smart. I like to build things, I'm can eat lots of food. Find me job.

[Woodland]

I dislike people who think they're good at a game and make me spend time out of my day proving them wrong.

What if you can't prove them wrong? Then what there actually right and then your just trying to prove something you can't? I know your response would be "They can't prove me wrong because I am better than them" sort of crap, but then that would make you big-headed.

[kegsworth]

What if you can't prove them wrong? Then what there actually right and then your just trying to prove something you can't? I know your response would be "They can't prove me wrong because I am better than them" sort of crap, but then that would make you big-headed.

You and I can never seem to see eye-to-eye, but, if I can't prove prove them wrong, then we settle it in an indisputable manner (usually the flip of a coin or rock-paper-scissors).

And it's called sarcasm bro, learn it and learn it fast.

[battle composed]

I like to watch things move, and move things that aren't moving. I dislike clowns with balloons. I can sleep a lot and I enjoy sleeping for days end without doing anything else. I cannot stand the sound of balloons popping or the scratching of nails on board.

[Woodland]

Kegs you never implied that it was "Sarcasim" so how would I know it was, then why settle it with a "Flip a coin" or "Rock paper crap" this person beat you fair and square and you still think you can be the better by overcoming him in a Coin flip lol Wow you have a real entertaining life. :p

[kegsworth]

Kegs you never implied that it was "Sarcasim" so how would I know it was, then why settle it with a "Flip a coin" or "Rock paper crap" this person beat you fair and square and you still think you can be the better by overcoming him in a Coin flip lol Wow you have a real entertaining life. :p

Yet again, sarcasm.

Why don't you go post somewhere else and let it fester there, it's unwanted here.

[battle composed]

Noooo, you guys are desecrating this sacred thread. I'm really hoping Guru Cephas will light a beacon in my future. Goooo away.

[kegsworth]

Noooo, you guys are desecrating this sacred thread. I'm really hoping Guru Cephas will light a beacon in my future. Goooo away.

Hey buddy, I payed before you, and posted before you, my beacon shall be lit first.

You can go to the backup of the line, with Woodland.

:p

[battle composed]

Oh no. That reminds me. I can't pay. I just repped him yesterday for that crappy post in IS.

But I don't want to stay too close to Woodland, he has this thing for green... Why don't you go to the back and let me to the front? You guys can fight..err.. talk things out. And Woodland, the default setup rocks, but you might want to spell effective like this.

[Cephas]

I like video games, basketball, girls, etc . . .

I dislike people who think they're good at a game and make me spend time out of my day proving them wrong.

I'm not weak, I'm kegsworth. ;)

Strength's . . . like I said, I'm kegsworth.
Weaknesses: Delusions of grandeur. :rolleyes:

Your path is simple. You need to start up a game development company that focuses on women's basketball games. Code the games so that they recognize when your opponents are playing you and they lose miserably through a series of believable mishaps and laugh on your way to the bank once you've given my my percentage. I think we have a real winner here!

[kegsworth]

Weaknesses: Delusions of grandeur. :rolleyes:

Your path is simple. You need to start up a game development company that focuses on women's basketball games. Code the games so that they recognize when your opponents are playing you and they lose miserably through a series of believable mishaps and laugh on your way to the bank once you've given my my percentage. I think we have a real winner here!

That's definitely me!

I'll give you the second copy of the game (first goes to me of course), and .3% of the total profits.

After all, you have inspired me to make it!

:)

[Hatchet Klown]

Erm,

I like doing finances, and enjoying the benefits of hard work... I'm not afraid to work hard; knowing that the ends justify the means.

[Freddyson]

Very social, But for me its hard to understand other languages.. trying to talk in english..

Enthusiastic, yet lazy at some times..

Loves to have fun, ..

uhh Lets see what you can gather from that..

Edit- Rollercoaster worker?

[Cephas]

I like not doing shit. I am in sales now, so i have to do something to get paid. Is there a job for me? I was thinking politics.
LMFAO! I am definitely in it for the money.
Hm... a bit more of a challenge. All right, here's your destiny:

You mentioned that you like 'not doing shit'. I think that you have a very lucrative career ahead of you as a poster child for a laxative manufacturer. May your visits to the potty be long and prosperous.

[Memnarch]

Hm... a bit more of a challenge. All right, here's your destiny:

You mentioned that you like 'not doing shit'. I think that you have a very lucrative career ahead of you as a poster child for a laxative manufacturer. May your visits to the potty be long and prosperous.

Thats better. How bout this?

Likes: Not working TOO hard, playing games, sex, billiards, poker, beer, Tv
Dislikes: gay porn, Iowa, stupid girls
Strengths: Multitasking, people skills, Im smart, good-looking
Weaknesses: small temper problem on occasion

What ya got for that one?

PS: This is pretty fun.

[Cephas]

I'm lazy, I'm ugly, I'm smart. I like to build things, I'm can eat lots of food. Find me job.
This case is truly a tossup. Lazy, ugly, smart and the desire to build create just the right chemistry for you to be a UNIX programmer or a database administrater, but eating food doesn't normally go with that. Lazy, ugly and gluttonous (and perhaps to a certain extent smart, though that might be debatable) create the perfect synergy for you to become a Food/Restaurant Critic. Perhaps you can compile a database of Restaurants and rate their food? (For what its worth, there could be good money in that, I want my share!)
I like to watch things move, and move things that aren't moving. I dislike clowns with balloons. I can sleep a lot and I enjoy sleeping for days end without doing anything else. I cannot stand the sound of balloons popping or the scratching of nails on board.
This is a tough one, but I think I have the job for you. You need to work in the circus as the guy who moves the barrel of water out of the way so the clown falls flat on his face after jumping from a burning building. You get days to sleep while the circus moves, and while you may have to bear with nails on boards and popping balloons, you will get back at them when you move the barrel. Not a lot of money here, but great job satisfaction.
I like doing finances, and enjoying the benefits of hard work... I'm not afraid to work hard; knowing that the ends justify the means.
A number cruncher, I see. How dull. I see though your rosy statement 'enjoying the benefits of hard work'; embezzlement is the way for you to go. You need to set up a phony accounting firm and then rob your clients blind. Remember me from Hawaii, and send me one of those drink umbrellas, will you?
Very social, But for me its hard to understand other languages.. trying to talk in english..

Enthusiastic, yet lazy at some times..

Loves to have fun, ..

uhh Lets see what you can gather from that..

Edit- Rollercoaster worker?
You related to freddyadu? Your lazyness and enthusiasm, coupled with your aversion to communication make you a perfect candidate in the family mannequin business. You can be happy mannequin, while freddyadu becomes serious mannequin. Is there anyone else involved in the business?

[Freddyson]

You mean.. theres another fred here?

mannequin? well if you say so, I mean all my trust is in your decisions..

[Madars]

What job is right for you?


I like kids and sex,so i'll say pornstar! :cool:

-Mad-

[Hatchet Klown]

A number cruncher, I see. How dull. I see though your rosy statement 'enjoying the benefits of hard work'; embezzlement is the way for you to go. You need to set up a phony accounting firm and then rob your clients blind. Remember me from Hawaii, and send me one of those drink umbrellas, will you?

Quite funny, but a bit off. I already run a legitimate business with my brother. Started with a single lawnmower many years ago. But perhaps a phony accounting firm would be a great second job.

[Cephas]

I like kids and sex,so i'll say pornstar! :cool:
Kids and-- :confused:

Such behavior is not tolerated in these forums. I'm sure that you'll be seeing the [ul=http://cpm.bfn.org/]Cephas Prison Program[/url] in a government run institution near you very shortly, and you'll have a long and dull career making license plates.

[R G]

Um. I like people. I like to drive. I am good at handling cash. I can drive anything with more than one wheel. I like drunk people. I rarely run people over by accident.

Have you thought of an armored car driver?

Meet people...Get to drive...Get to handle cash...Truck usually has at least 6 wheels...Lots of drunks at convience stores..and you can run over people at your option..

[mantis33]

I like to sleep. is there a job that requires sleeping? Help me Cephas!!!

[Cephas]

I like to sleep. is there a job that requires sleeping? Help me Cephas!!!
Perhaps you can get a job as a matress tester? Either that or upper management at Dell.

[mantis33]

Either that or upper management at Dell.
What is that supposed to mean? :confused:

[Hatchet Klown]

HAHAHAHA, So True Ceph... So True!!!

Dell is t3h sux0rz

[Memnarch]

Dammit Cephas! You didnt do my job with all my likes dislikes strengths and weaknesses. Please come up with something.

[Swift]

I like knowing lots of things and ruling the world has always been a dream of mine. I was thinking about being a mad scientist. Or any job that would give me the title Genius, like that coyote on bugs bunny :)

I am being quite serious here.

[battle composed]

You mean.. theres another fred here?

mannequin? well if you say so, I mean all my trust is in your decisions..

Exactly, thou shalt not doubt the Guru.

This is a tough one, but I think I have the job for you. You need to work in the circus as the guy who moves the barrel of water out of the way so the clown falls flat on his face after jumping from a burning building. You get days to sleep while the circus moves, and while you may have to bear with nails on boards and popping balloons, you will get back at them when you move the barrel. Not a lot of money here, but great job satisfaction.

I'm already there.

[T3km4n]

I'm really really really ridiculously good-looking.

[Tama Drummer]

i like music, especially metal
i love drumming

i dislike most sports and extra physical activity
i am kind of unsocial, but do enjoy working with others

i like working with web design and that sort of stuff (to a degree, it gets borng)

i like to ski
i do not like heat
i don't like lots of paperwork
i am very laidback
i'd like to make a good amount of money
i'd rather not work specific shifts



um, ok. I think I did that right, no give me a job. :D
I need to get one for over the summer actually. I might just try and work at a local farm or something. I don't think they take off the tax reductions, but I'm really not sure.

[Tama Drummer]

I'm really really really ridiculously good-looking.

Haha, you're quoting that... movie, right? I have no clue what it's called, but I saw it on New Year's and it was on Comedy Central a week ago I think. The one guy's name is like Deryl Leek or something.

Some male modeling movie, about... two male models. Yea, it's a little bit better than it sounds.

[T3km4n]

Haha, you're quoting that... movie, right? I have no clue what it's called, but I saw it on New Year's and it was on Comedy Central a week ago I think. The one guy's name is like Deryl Leek or something.

Some male modeling movie, about... two male models. Yea, it's a little bit better than it sounds.
Zoolander!
The guys name is Derek Zoolander and his fashion line at the end is called "Derelique."