Things your dad said

[nads]

I'm a dad myself, and I'm having a bit of trouble with my daughter that I think the TAO community could help me with. You see, when I was a kid, my dad had a few sayings that would scare the daylight out of me, and make me behave. The problem I'm having is that my dad's sayings don't work on my kid, but maybe someone's dad here had a good one that would work on my rug rat. Here's some examples of what my dad used to tell me:

Your ass is grass and I'm a lawn mower

You'll be grounded into the middle of next week

Because I said so

Because I'm the dad, that's why

I'll knock that smile off your face

You won't be able to sit down for a week

And it WILL be done before I get home

Any others?

[Volcom]

you'll sit there until you finnish it

[Anarchy_United]

I don't care if you drink underage, but it is up to you to get a fake I.D.

[Jaymee_]

Maybe your kid has figured out that you're all bark and no bite. Yelling at a kid is not going to make him behave unless he knows you'll do something to back up what you say.

[*TBS*_H&]

I don't care if you drink underage, but it is up to you to get a fake I.D. are you suggesting that or are you saying your dad said that to you?

[Anarchy_United]

are you suggesting that or are you saying your dad said that to you?

He said that to me.

[TeXaS LoNgHoRnS]

It depends how old your daughter is, and what she did

[***Duo***]

My father worked in actions, not words.
If you tell your daughter you're going to do something, you'd better do it.
"You won't be able to sit down for a week" -- My father said something along those lines a LONG time ago. He wasn't going to belt me--instead, he made me do body squats until I cried. (My other option aside from this was having everything taken out of my room aside from my bed, and I would have to stay in there for a certain period of time unless I was going to school.) I don't know how you could fashion something like that with your daughter, but again, work in actions.


-Duo

[Magician]

Do the fucking dishes!

[bludhoundz]

"When your mother is whining, I want to give her a baby bottle"

True story.

Though not really discipline related.

[*TBS*_H&]

right now, because i have a bad temper am going to a councellor. he tells my mom exactly what Duo said. What you say your going to do you better do or her behavior is going to get worse, and eventually you will ose all control.

[Draquist]

"I dont care how much you hate me, you were an accident anyway."

[TeXaS LoNgHoRnS]

"I dont care how much you hate me, you were an accident anyway."

HAHA!

[Hatchet Klown]

Similar to what Jaymee said, no need to say anything the first time. Just break out the belt and then anytime you even hint towards it they listen. ;)

[NeverKnowsBest.]

When i was really little i kept asking my dad for a glass of water. He made me drink glass after glass untill i eventually threw up. (dont do this!) xd

[Jaymee_]

I didn't necessarily mean "break out the belt." I ment any form of discipline, grounding, extra chores around the house, and if you so choose.. yes a good spanking never hurt anyone.

[iceman2001]

When i was really little i kept asking my dad for a glass of water. He made me drink glass after glass untill i eventually threw up. (dont do this!) xd

Yeah...you can actually die from forcing down water....
Wee for wee contest anyone?

[Jeffery]

Question: How old are the children?

Up until age 13, standing them in a corner can be a GREAT punishment. Also, taking away toys/tv's/misc extras can also work. Then you don;t threaten them with harm "I'll put a boot in your ass, that's why" but with losing something they want. "If you don;t do your homework, you can;t go over to Amy;s house this weekend."

[iceman2001]

Question: How old are the children?

Up until age 13, standing them in a corner can be a GREAT punishment. Also, taking away toys/tv's/misc extras can also work. Then you don;t threaten them with harm "I'll put a boot in your ass, that's why" but with losing something they want. "If you don;t do your homework, you can;t go over to Amy;s house this weekend."

Pretty good advice actually.

It's quite unsettling to think of Jeffery having good parenting skills....

[Cliche]

Pretty good advice actually.

It's quite unsettling to think of Jeffery having good parenting skills....

Oh, come on. You know Jeffery's tough guy act is just a 'front'.

;)

[Jaymee_]

Question: How old are the children?

Up until age 13, standing them in a corner can be a GREAT punishment. Also, taking away toys/tv's/misc extras can also work. Then you don;t threaten them with harm "I'll put a boot in your ass, that's why" but with losing something they want. "If you don;t do your homework, you can;t go over to Amy;s house this weekend."


That's what I said, only in different words.. Good advice Jeffery.

[Jeffery]

That's what I said, only in different words.. Good advice Jeffery.
I would also add in this advice for parents of school age children.


Homework time: No matter what, block out a certain section of every day to be homework time. This means no TV, no radio, no friends, no phone. Every day have time to work on homework. On Friday night, have the homework for Monday done and taken care of if possible. Don;t let them wait until Sunday night.

[Scorpionz]

I was up all night doing homework. I hate that. :P

But homeowrk time us too hard! >_>

[uniquinous]

i feel so bad for your daughter.. ...

[Cuathon]

im glad my parents cant see this, stupid jeff... dont give old people the easy answers. its funny to watch them suck at parenting.

[_Thunder_]

You better get out of the shower boy! Before i put this thing in you! And its long and goey!

<-- 0_o >-- <Me

[Unforgottner]

I hate you and your adopted.

[R G]

Great stuff my dad said that I remember...

When you leave this world you will not be remembered for the things that you have, but for the things that you gave away.

Stuff can be gained and stolen by other people, but your integrity can not.

He said about the same thing for education too.

Older in life he told me one that I still think is funny. He was talking about a guy who had femine qualities about him.

He said that boy might not be gay, but he sure wouldn't mind holding another man's penis until one came along.

That one still makes me laugh.

[Jaymee_]

You better get out of the shower boy! Before i put this thing in you! And its long and goey!

<-- 0_o >-- <Me

Remind me to never cross your dad. That's just bad.. even though I'm pretty sure it was a joke, still very bad.

[Ignition]

1





2






3


(they don't want to get past 3)

[ExpectDeath]

Me: The usual "I want something..."

Dad: People in hell want ice water. *goes back to what he was doing*

[Anarchy_United]

I never really get punished, I get yelled at sometimes, and my dad is the single scariest person when he is angry. I've never had to get Punished, I generally do the right thing, with the exception of occaisionally doing some incredibly stupid things. I listen to my parents, never raise my voice when I argue with them. However

"I wouldn't have to yell at you if you weren't so stupid"
"What gave you the bright idea to go sledding down the stairs?"
"Have fun at Delco"

[nads]

You think I own the power company!?

This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you

Over my dead body!

Don't make me tell you again

And who can forget the way your dad could always pull off his belt in one swoop of his arm, and no matter how many times you tried to do it, you just couldn't..

[Jaymee_]

My kids know that when I start counting, they had better do whatever I asked before I get to three. I taught them at an early age so I don't have problems with them now.

[uniquinous]

ew you're a sick man - why do you want to pull of your dad's belt?!?!

srsly i feel bad for your daughter

[Ächilles]

Clean up your room or I'll cut your head off.

[KickAssPlaya]

My kids know that when I start counting, they had better do whatever I asked before I get to three. I taught them at an early age so I don't have problems with them now.

We did do a good job, huh? :)

~KAP

[Draquist]

Well...how many kids do you have? If you have more than 1, you can pick out 1 kid to be the one you constantly abuse and then every time you hit that one, tell the other kid "see...if you EVER do anything wrong...its your turn."

[VAMP7]

I'm a dad myself, and I'm having a bit of trouble with my daughter that I think the TAO community could help me with. You see, when I was a kid, my dad had a few sayings that would scare the daylight out of me, and make me behave. The problem I'm having is that my dad's sayings don't work on my kid, but maybe someone's dad here had a good one that would work on my rug rat. Here's some examples of what my dad used to tell me:

Your ass is grass and I'm a lawn mower

You'll be grounded into the middle of next week

Because I said so

Because I'm the dad, that's why

I'll knock that smile off your face

You won't be able to sit down for a week

And it WILL be done before I get home

Any others?

:eek: i think they outlawed that one. and i think it's illegal to do that. Michael Jackson got in trouble for this.;)

[Jaymee_]

We did do a good job, huh? :)

~KAP


Yes KappiePoo.. we did an awesome job! We are such good parents!

[Tama Drummer]

All these sayings mean nothing if you don't say them right. For me anyway, it wasn't what was said, rather how it was said.

[Memory]

I grew up in a pretty strict Russian Jewish family where the belt was used pretty often to keep me in check. I still remeber when i was 10 i unscrewed all the lightbulbs in the house and my parents though we had a power outage. When they found out i did it, darn my ass hurt for wuite a while.

Also im happy that neither Jeffery or uniq are my parents.

Jeffery wacks off to clowns and bitches at everything that moves.

Uniq wouldn't let me watch me porn till i was 35. (Maybe thats because Japanese monsters mature slower)

[KickAssPlaya]

Yes KappiePoo.. we did an awesome job! We are such good parents!

I hear for ya, babe! :)

~KAP

[Hatchet Warrior]

You don't need to say anything. Just get something that'll scare the shit out of them when they see it. It's probably the best plan I have ever seen.

Another good one is to make them go get their own stick to hit them with.

[Zoticus]

I wish I would have used a condom that one day at the lake.

[Hugh Junit]

I love my pops, but he was big on threatening to smack the *blank* out of my brothers and I. I can't really blame him, looking back. We were a pain in the ass.
But he came up with some awesome words to fill in that blank. I still don't know what some of them mean, but here are a few of the things my dad said he would smack or slap out of me..
The "living daylights".
The "tar".
The "pee water".
The "stupid".
The "sap".
The "socks".

[Zoticus]

This really hurt my feelings...

Me: "Please do not make me do that."

Dad: "I wish I would have used a condom that one day at the lake."

[nads]

I love my pops, but he was big on threatening to smack the *blank* out of my brothers and I. I can't really blame him, looking back. We were a pain in the ass.
But he came up with some awesome words to fill in that blank. I still don't know what some of them mean, but here are a few of the things my dad said he would smack or slap out of me..
The "living daylights".
The "tar".
The "pee water".
The "stupid".
The "sap".
The "socks".

The "snot"
The "piss"
The "hell"
The "Bejesus"

Our dads must have gone to the same High School or something. My dad also had this look that I called, "the look" that needed no words of accompaniment. You knew you had problems when he glared at you like that.

[Morning Star]

slap the taste oucha mouth...
slap ya into next week...

On a side note my ass was put to work and I dont mean little halfass chores lik doing the dishes or taking out the garbage. I mean redoing the roof, actual landscaping, painting, sanding, among others. At the time I hated that man, (I was 10 years old for crying out loud) Thinking back on it though I got a lot of good experience.

[Poop Slinger]

As a father of four.. I remember back to laughing at the parents I saw in stores and super markets swearing at their kids and basically carring their belt in hand with attached bar of soap for when their child acted up and I use those moments to inspire the fear of god in my children.

Simple phrases seem to work the best..

"Do I need to go get Angry Daddy?"

"I have a shovel and van, and it will only take grandma two weeks to get over the loss."

"Do you want me to let your sister kick you in the head?'

"1-2 Yeah You know what comes next.. thank you. "(haven't gotten to 3 in about 6 months)

"Do you want me to put my shoe up your butt?"

"I was there when you came into this world, but no one has to know I was when you go out."

But honestly. My girls are very good listeners.. Whenever they get too crazy.. I throw them in the car and we go walk for 4 miles.. or ride our bikes.. I figure... They tired out my nerves. I'll just plain tire them out.

[AlabamaBoy]

Make me a sandwich woman! I mean boy!

[THUNDER-K9]

Pretty simple *The Look* if you got it just bend over and feel that warm fuzzy feeling more like tingling! The worst was hearing the recliner close that meant your life was over for at least a week.

My dad was of little words in the way of discipline, but some how I never got the point till that 2inch leather belt got me; it only took once, OUCHIE!!!!

In my case dad of 3 they know if I say it will happen...

1 Would you like to look like that the rest of your life...?

2 The gene pool must have been short the day you were made...

This one just happened the other day after getting my bill for the cell phones, all 218 pages of it.
The next text message you get will be from me telling you why you have to fart to press veiw now!!!

[Zander]

Just tell her you'll take away her damn phone.

[CRX687]

When I jumped on the bed after he told me not to, he made me jump in the corner of the room for an hour, my legs hurt so much I've never done it since.

When I wouldn't eat, he didn't give me food for 48 hours.

When I wouldn't do homework, be made me kneel down and face the wall for two hours straight.

These things are horrid, but they work.

[Worker]

My dad would always ask me "ARE YOU ON DRUGS? BECAUSE YOU SURE ARE ACTING LIKE IT"

Regardless of the answer I gave he would follow it up with "YEAH THATS WHAT SOMEONE ON DRUGS WOULD SAY".

Its funny now....but it really was a pain in the ass back then, as I never even saw a drug till I got out of highschool. :p

[Blexican]

"As soon as anyone touches that CD player it stops working........ Like a woman."

Im not sure where he was going with this, but he was SOo0o0o0 drunk.

[kegsworth]

When I would do something stupid, say something stupid, or generally anything that I knew I wasn't supposed to do or say, my dad would ask me if I "wanted to get strong". The very first time I heard that, I responded "yes". He would then tell me that I made a good choice, and he wanted me to accompany him in the livingroom. He would then turn on a show and tell me that I was going to work out until the show was over. He watched the news. -_-

After that first time, he asked me again a couple weeks later. I (sarcastically) responded "if I wanted to get strong, I'd be at the gym". He then said "why would you do that if you've got an entire gym in your house? Cmon, let's go watch some TV." Oh, I hated that, and it's how life was until I straightened out.

I get a workout session every now and again.

[Nagel]

say that she was complaining that she "can't" do something, just say "You can't or its hard?"

[Woodland]

If I'm supposedly lieing, he'd say:

"Bollocks, you nob head"..

Atleast I know I'm loved.

;)

[R G]

I remember one time at my Grandma's house I did something that warranted punishment....Don't remember what, but it must have been bad.

First I got the lecture....Don't remember a word of it now....

Then he gave me one of those dilemas that you just can not come out ahead in. After the lecture he told me to go find him a hickory stick for a spanking. There in lied the problem....find a good one and it would hurt like hell...find a bad one and my dad who was a professional in the way of hickory sticks would see that I had picked an inferior one....this could result in a double beating one with the inferior "stick of pain" then followed up with another "stick of pain" picked out by my dad.

I picked out a nice "stick of pain" knowing that my dad would probally appreciate a good one and go light on me....It hurt but I was right as I only got two "licks".

[Unforgottner]

:confused:

[TTitan44]

This is stuff my European Studies teacher would say to us last year.

"One more nail in the coffin of failure"
"10 years ago I would've clocked you"
"I'll rip your tounge out through your nostrils"
"See you in summer school"
"Your lucky I doubled my meds this morning"

[bludhoundz]

"Your mom better have brought brownies"

- My friend's math teacher at parent teacher conferences. Not a dad, but he keeps the class pretty quiet.

[ReTodd]

While driving down the road, "Don't make me reach back there!"

To my mom after I was bigger and quicker than him and would block his punches with my elbows, "Barbara! The boy hurt me." The old man broke a few bones in his hands trying to hang on to his former glory.

"bend over my knee"

"I've forgotten twice as much as you know"

[Anarchy_United]

"Kenny, long ago your mom and I decided I would take care of all the big decisions, and she would take care of the small decisions. I'm still waiting for a big decision to come a long."

[Learz]

My Dad had a wooden paddle.
The size of it scared teh bejeezus out of me.
Even then, when he whacked my underside with it, I made sure to do what he said next time.
It worked. Mostly :wink2:

Good sayings:

I'm twice your size. Don't mess with me.

If you really, really want to do it.... do it. (experiance sometimes works best).

I'll take your computer monitor away when your not here and hide it.

[Cuathon]

your parents are evil lol. the worst i ever got was spankings when i was really little. now my parents just dont bother to do anything. thewy usually yell and act sorry for me and sad and stuff. poor saps dont realize, i do what i want.

[Draquist]

The whole guilt thing gets me. For example...I just asked my dad to stay home on the phone and he said no...I said so your gonna make me go to school? He said know what Tyler...fine...do whatever you want, for now on dont even ask me, just make your own decisions. I stayed home anyway but I feel guilty. =p

[Memnarch]

Used to say Soulshine, is better than moonshine, its better than sunshine, its damn sure better than rain! Well now people dont mind, we all feel this way sometimes. Got to let your soulshine, shine till the break of day.

No, my dad isnt Greg Allman, he just used to sing this to me as a kid.

[HorNeT]

My dad likes the saying, "Those who look and do not see, do not look" when I can't find something. Usually I give up and he finds it right where I was looking.. the thieving bastard!

[nads]

My dad likes the saying, "Those who look and do not see, do not look" when I can't find something. Usually I give up and he finds it right where I was looking.. the thieving bastard!

My dad could beat up your dad.

[Phantom_Ronin]

"You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"