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Hoolwath
07-10-2007, 07:30 PM
There are couple of things I cannot really understand when playing TAO and sometimes, I find myself even surprised. Those are the times when I find myself asking question I do not really ever expect to be answered. They are far from being complex or hard to understand, I simply do not know anyone who could answer them. I have seen some of them asked, but never answered. So if anyone, anyone at all, knows the answer I am all open .

I must say I can understand the principle of Barrier and Lightning ward. Well balanced crystal placed in the middle of special sticks always has to result in something magical. I tried it at home multiple times with no real profit, but it looks like it works. Must be me only. That thing just screams: „I am full of energy!“ And it is all your call whether you want to create a levitating unbreakable circle or send a PM to the all-mighty god of thunder Thor. Thor being bugged every second tries to hit it with a streak of lightning and always misses up to three squares, we all make mistakes yada yada yada. You would want to burn someone down aswell if you had your PM box filled every other second. Nothing funny there. Perhaps the only thing I truly do not understand here is why in the hell do not the opponents go for the legs?! Whenever when I barrier anything I swear that the ankles are still vulnerable. I mean... the unit would have to jump up and down every milisecond and our LCD monitors would not be able to see it. That is right, I would just cut off his/her toes, that could finish of a unit that is injured enough to be barriered. And people back in the day must of have made a god every other guy. Even I would hit the three sticks more than Thor does.

What really bugs me, though, are some other small things on every other unit.

Take scout for instance. He walks and shoots. Walks and shoots. On and off. Now if he has his LOS blocked he is done for. But how come?! I admit... he is not the smartes guy in the arena... trying to block every other shot with his hand in the middle of his only weapon. Now if he had his bow broken after a precise knight hit I would seriously laugh out loud. Eventhough he lacks some intelligence needed to survive, why in the hell does he not just lift his bow a bit or shoot the arrow so the it falls on his opponent. I know it would not be for 18. More of a 14 and half, but still better than have his own bow broken. He lacks common sense in my opinion and is a tad paranoid, always standing as though someone was shooting at him. Whatever, he is just a weirdo. Luckily, others have their problems aswell.

Knight for instance. I seriously doubt they are straight. If they do not have more boys like them close i tis much much easier to make them leave. Therfore... when they lack partners they lack motivation and can be killed much easier. When you have three of them on the field though, waiting till the end game makes them absolutely no problem. I still do not see what they love about the others so much. Of course, the bright heavy armor would heat anybody up and therefore must turn you on pretty quickly, but if I had one myslef, I would not care about others. The next thing that bothers me... how come they block from side so rarely?! Some warriors if you ask me... They could hardly be football players with that eccentric sight of theirs a not be the meat shield in such bloody battle. Heck, I could do a better warrior than them with my 60 kilos. Atleast I know where to look when someone tries to hit me.

I do not see how can they like men when they have girls who look almost like models in the same arena. I would kill others in few seconds if I had a small chance to stay in the arena with chicks like that all alone. With only three girls in the game I would not hop for a threesome, but you always have a chance to have it one on one with the enchantress in the end game.

The Dark Magic Witch. I would not bet my money on her face being that photogenic, covering up with a hat like that. But let me tell you... she definitely has the perfect body. I sometimes do not know whether to play up or to take the bottom because of her. I could dress her in some other clothes than she likes but I guess this game is for children too. A pity. Where was I... Oh yea. Perfect body. Unlike the assasin, I bet that sneaky girl stood twice in the queue for getting meat to her chest, because if you ask me... they look natural. Plus she can hold her stick in one hand. That is something even pyromancers cant do, even the shiny one cant. Now with TAO being so balanced and everything... her face must be a funeral compared to her body. Nevermind. I would just borrow her the knight helmet if it was truly needed.

Enchantress would be the second sexiest, if you choose the right color of her bikiny. To increase her power of enchanting people, I would maybe even dress her in thongs, or would not dress her at all. Or perhaps a see-through. I seriously do not know. She looks fine madonna-like hair, nice body, just her legs are a bit splay and she lacks meat in her bottom. No wonder she tries to cover i tup with her hand like that. Plus I could probably not stand those arguments if I married her. She would just scream a tme, punch me with her hand because I am not listening while frozen, defocus, scream again etcetera. It would be hard to live with her. Yea.

Assassin is just ugly. No offence meant, but I do not like her at all. She looks a bit man-like in my opinion. I mean... she does have some advantages... she has to run very fast with a knife in her hand... I know from counter-strike. I do not like the style she atacks though. Spins around. That is weak. Now... If I had such knives I would just Chacha, Cheee and Angaaaaa. And everybody would be dead. And I probably could not stand her explosive character.

Pyromancer is just weak. Having a big stick, trying to look cool. I do not even want to think what are they trying to compensate with a huge stick like that (sorry for the mental picture). Even a witch could hold it in one hand and those lazy tards got so used to them I bet they would not be able to walk properly without it. Typical show-offs, I bet they came from the south. Using one hand for everything while they have the other one in their pocket. I can clearly imagine them crying: „I beat you with one hand only!“ Now imagine the fuss when they find out it is their left hand. I bet they would all say they are right-handed and that they burned you and your neighbours with their weaker hand only. Scary. Some of them shine. A tribe that eats crop and drinks water right next to the atomic powerplant in exchange for cheaper living. Those government bastards. I would like to see them become radioactive over the night.

Now the unit that bugs me the most is the cleric. I know it cant block, but I swear I am hoping ti will finally block something even when it cant. I do not know why. I understand them letting a sword through. Not proper equipment for a fight like that. But every single old man I know, who can read - and we are not talking about being able to heal up to 9 guys after reading a couple of lines from a magic book – would be able to lift the book to prevent an arrow from hitting him. What kind of noob must be that. A vet that cant hold off a single arrow, to lift a book. Horrible. Almost h()()t-like. Must be a painbearer of Illmater or something. That freak lost me SO many games. Like three or five. Oh well, probably just cant focus having a chanty next to him. I swear I will make a set where he is surrounded with knights. I bet he will watch his back then.

There are other important questions that will not let me sleep easily. Like how come the units evaporate when their remaining should fall to the ground. Gravity cheaters.

I quess only god knows all the answers. I shared these things just so that they bug you all from now on.

steve12
07-10-2007, 07:32 PM
I read through what you wrote, and yes, I have thought about several of them as well. It's just crappy designing and explanation I guess. The game wasn't designed to be thought about this much; could be fixed. ;)

Dresicos
07-10-2007, 07:33 PM
Constructive Sarcasm!

steve12
07-10-2007, 07:35 PM
But Hool, what the heck were you thinking when you wasted all the time to write this up? :p

Hugh Junit
07-10-2007, 07:46 PM
Thanks, Hool.
I've been having a hard time sleeping lately. The newborn wakes up all hours of the night, as newborns do, and that usually results in my other daughter waking up. I try to grab a nap when I can, but it's about 95 degrees outside today.
This thread knocked me out faster than a bottle of Nyquil. I was snoring halfway through your second paragraph.
Thanks again. You're a lifesaver!

Hatchet Warrior
07-10-2007, 07:46 PM
It's called the Epic Ramblings of Hool. He will stay up nights on ending thinking about this very thing. He has finally brought it in front of us to judge if he is just insane or if we agree.
OR
he's trying to put us to sleep.

iceman2001
07-10-2007, 07:48 PM
I vote insane.

steve12
07-10-2007, 07:49 PM
And I probably could not stand her explosive character.

Haha... I like the way Hool writes. Pretty funny after I think about it for a while.

Cuathon
07-10-2007, 07:51 PM
rofl. he was bored. the same reason we all read it. lol.

Hatchet Warrior
07-10-2007, 07:52 PM
Actually...I read it because i'm in a different state of mind. It's really amusing.

Hoolwath
07-10-2007, 07:52 PM
Thanks, Hool.
I've been having a hard time sleeping lately. The newborn wakes up all hours of the night, as newborns do, and that usually results in my other daughter waking up. I try to grab a nap when I can, but it's about 95 degrees outside today.
This thread knocked me out faster than a bottle of Nyquil. I was snoring halfway through your second paragraph.
Thanks again. You're a lifesaver!

Wow Hugh, you really know how to burst a kids bubble. :(

Luckily you woke up to post before falling deeply to the hidden chambers of your evil subconsciousness.

I like to hear Olivia is keeping you fit, though. :cool:

Cuathon
07-10-2007, 07:53 PM
im always in a different state of mine. cause im special...
>.>
<.<

but yeah, it was really funny.

TTitan44
07-10-2007, 07:53 PM
Haha... I like the way Hool writes. Pretty funny after I think about it for a while.

Suckup

AlabamaBoy
07-10-2007, 07:55 PM
Typical show-offs, I bet they came from the south. Using one hand for everything while they have the other one in their pocket. I can clearly imagine them crying: „I beat you with one hand only!“ Now imagine the fuss when they find out it is their left hand.

>.>

What are you trying to say Hool?

meat.eater
07-10-2007, 08:07 PM
>.>

What are you trying to say Hool?

Hool is more south than any of us.

Dresicos
07-10-2007, 08:08 PM
rofl. he was bored. the same reason we all read it. lol.
I didn't read that, are you joking? Thats way to much...
>.>

What are you trying to say Hool?

You can't tell?

speaker4thedead
07-10-2007, 08:10 PM
Thanks, Hool.
I've been having a hard time sleeping lately. The newborn wakes up all hours of the night, as newborns do, and that usually results in my other daughter waking up. I try to grab a nap when I can, but it's about 95 degrees outside today.
This thread knocked me out faster than a bottle of Nyquil. I was snoring halfway through your second paragraph.
Thanks again. You're a lifesaver!

Haha loved this post

Hool, I got to the second line and got bored :(

mantis33
07-10-2007, 08:26 PM
This is precisely why EGL thinks we're all fat losers. Why did you take all that time to write this? :p

pils
07-10-2007, 09:49 PM
One question:
Why the hell would you take a damn GAME logically?
Other than the obvious and most probable answer which has already been presented by quite a few members both reputable, and some not as much:

Insanity? :confused:

I mean really... Was it worth the effort?
Was this the response you were expecting/hoping for? (Everyone's not just mine)
Because it seems to me, since we are all using logic here I might as well toss my hat into the ring, that the logical reply would be in fact: Are you crazy?

FryLock
07-11-2007, 01:06 AM
I don't care what any of you other haters say, this is the best thread currently on the 1st page of GD!! Hool FTW!

TeXaS LoNgHoRnS
07-11-2007, 01:21 AM
Hool....you need a girl...you have WAY too much time on your hands buddy

Hoolwath
07-11-2007, 01:21 AM
But Hool, what the heck were you thinking when you wasted all the time to write this up? :p

For rep.

Obviously.

I did this for the positive reputation that flooded my user cp the moment I hit the submit thread button. Nothing else. No need to question my health, all I wanted was the god damn reputation. I can sacrifice an hour of my life for that.

Nitanius Nolund
07-11-2007, 01:24 AM
*sets the neg bomb*

"Will destruct in 10

9..

8.."

Lonely Tylenol
07-11-2007, 01:24 AM
You would want to burn someone down aswell if you had your PM box filled every other second. Nothing funny there.

Amen to that, my crazy European brother!

Jaymee_
07-11-2007, 02:47 AM
I thought it was funny. : )

Northwind
07-11-2007, 10:02 AM
There are couple of things I cannot really understand when playing TAO . . . (Hool's ramblings omitted here) . . . I shared these things just so that they bug you all from now on.
STAY AWAY FROM THE BROWN ACID! I repeat, THE BROWN ACID IS BAD, STAY AWAY FROM THE BROWN ACID.

Anarchy_United
07-11-2007, 10:34 AM
For rep.

Obviously.

I did this for the positive reputation that flooded my user cp the moment I hit the submit thread button. Nothing else. No need to question my health, all I wanted was the god damn reputation. I can sacrifice an hour of my life for that.

I read this, and laughed... and laughed... and laughed...

Cuathon
07-11-2007, 10:39 AM
yup. rep is the reason for life.

Lex
07-11-2007, 04:15 PM
You forgot the Beast Rider, Hool, he rides around with his big pointy stick atatcking two squares at a time.. But, If the first unit blocks his pole goes right through them and still hits the second. Like, WTF? How can you go straight through something that blocked.. damn you Br, stop defying logic. Stop it!

VAMP7
07-11-2007, 04:22 PM
You forgot the Beast Rider, Hool, he rides around with his big pointy stick atatcking two squares at a time.. But, If the first unit blocks his pole goes right through them and still hits the second. Like, WTF? How can you go straight through something that blocked.. damn you Br, stop defying logic. Stop it!

And how can a dragon stop a knight attack with it's very sharp sword with it's wings? How many arrows does a archer waste in the duration of a normal game?
Why do units get -199%, and -200% blocking? How does the wisp sink into the board game? How can a unit step off the field for a friendly unit to pass? Why does the Berserker suck so much?

pils
07-11-2007, 04:39 PM
Berzerker doesn't suck. :dry:
You just suck with the berzerker.

VAMP7
07-11-2007, 04:42 PM
Look at my sig if i had that berserker than i would not suck with it.
Not my fault if bills made a bad unit.

Hoolwath
07-11-2007, 06:34 PM
STAY AWAY FROM THE BROWN ACID! I repeat, THE BROWN ACID IS BAD, STAY AWAY FROM THE BROWN ACID.

Ok so just whatever the bronw asic meansa I wpromeise i wtaill stay away from it.

You forgot the Beast Rider, Hool, he rides around with his big pointy stick atatcking two squares at a time.. But, If the first unit blocks his pole goes right through them and still hits the second. Like, WTF? How can you go straight through something that blocked.. damn you Br, stop defying logic. Stop it!

I will cover up tehg old units aseweell when this thread is no tbukmeber everyseoncd anymore, to get more of that presciosus reputation.

Thanks you for posting inehere Northeing, you made my thraead super cool.

Magician
07-11-2007, 06:35 PM
Hehehehehe. Someone's hit the bottle. :wink2:

Jeffery
07-11-2007, 06:35 PM
Did he give him a black eye?

Hoolwath
07-11-2007, 06:43 PM
Hehehehehe. Someone's hit the bottle. :wink2:

Do yooue mean lieke I am dunken or something. Ok I have to say I drunk some alcohol but I would never hit a bottle. A Bofdygourd at the disco took it away but we boughtanother one.and its is almost22222 am her eso iam am all good to be not really triezvy.. Iam soryry fro speking slovak but I cant think of the word in english. It is a shme to drink kinda much atwednesday, but I was drunk on Friday and mondaay asell so it is all goodd.

Magician
07-11-2007, 06:44 PM
When you see your posts in the morning, you'll be laughing as hard as I am. :)

Zander
07-11-2007, 08:53 PM
A Bofdygourd at the disco took it away but we boughtanother one.
Ha... ha-ha... hah...