How to cook a baby

[menace]

1. Cut baby breast into 1 inch strips.
2. Heat a large non-stick skillet that has been sprayed with Pam, over medium-high heat.
3. Cook baby strips for about 6 minutes until no longer pink.
4. Mix together honey, soy sauce, water, corn starch, ginger and red pepper flakes.
5. Whisk until no corn starch lumps appear.
6. Pour sauce mixture into skillet with chicken.
7. Cook until sauce thickens slightly.
8. You can add more water if sauce is too thick.
9. Sprinkle with sesame seeds.
10. Cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until baby starts to soak up the sauce.

[inked]

I don't get it, why cook the baby without their breast?

[kingedward]

You ARE cooking the breast, just nothing else.

[Jeffery]

First of all, when making a cooking guide, you must also detail how to prepare the baby for cooking.

Now, fresh baby is best. You can find it at any supermarket. Stay away from the overly plump ones, as too much fat ruins the taste.

Now that you have the baby, you'll find it necessary to stop it from crying. The easiest way is what I call the Pendulum. Take the baby firmly by the ankles, and swing back and forth. When you get enough speed to swing the baby all the way up and over, bring it down onto the floor by its head.

Speaking of the head, this is one of the view areas of the baby with no meat worth eating. Remove the head with a large cleaver and dispose of. The brains are simply not formed enough for a good Blood Pie so don;t feel bad about missing out on them.

Next step is washing and gutting the baby. Anyone with experience with animals such as Deer or Pigs should have no problem.

I will continue the prepping and follow with a couple of recipes later.

[Hoolwath]

All of this was already covered in one of Punishment's baking babies thread.

[ben66]

1. Cut baby breast into 1 inch strips.
2. Heat a large non-stick skillet that has been sprayed with Pam, over medium-high heat.
3. Cook baby strips for about 6 minutes until no longer pink.
4. Mix together honey, soy sauce, water, corn starch, ginger and red pepper flakes.
5. Whisk until no corn starch lumps appear.
6. Pour sauce mixture into skillet with chicken.
7. Cook until sauce thickens slightly.
8. You can add more water if sauce is too thick.
9. Sprinkle with sesame seeds.
10. Cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until baby starts to soak up the sauce.

Was this meant to be a joke?

[Ol' Time]

Was this meant to be a joke?

You're stupider than I thought.

[Teacher]

I'm not so sure about Jeff's statement about the their not being any good meat in the head. I mean what about head cheese? I have never had it but have heard that it has great potential.

[Jeffery]

I'm not so sure about Jeff's statement about the their not being any good meat in the head. I mean what about head cheese? I have never had it but have heard that it has great potential.
As I explained, the brains simply aren;t ready for such uses. There is not enough there to make a good batch, and getting more than one baby at a time can be troublesome.

[Hoolwath]

Was this meant to be a joke?

Lets find out the logical way.


How to define a joke?


Is it a guide how to step by step cook something?

[Cliche]

Was this meant to be a joke?

No. A guide to baby cooking is as super-cereal as it gets!

[halolover5.]

1. Cut baby breast into 1 inch strips.
2. Heat a large non-stick skillet that has been sprayed with Pam, over medium-high heat.
3. Cook baby strips for about 6 minutes until no longer pink.
4. Mix together honey, soy sauce, water, corn starch, ginger and red pepper flakes.
5. Whisk until no corn starch lumps appear.
6. Pour sauce mixture into skillet with chicken.
7. Cook until sauce thickens slightly.
8. You can add more water if sauce is too thick.
9. Sprinkle with sesame seeds.
10. Cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until baby starts to soak up the sauce.

WTF!?! No basil? Gosh, they just don't cook babys like they used to.

[uniquinous]

wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait

does the baby need to be named "Pam". If not, I don't understand what to spray

[ChainHeart]

...

too complicated

gut the baby and dip it in hot oil

i like em crispy

[The Coder]

Indeed. There's nothing like deep fried baby. Quick and easy.

[Hellblazer]

Ah, finally!
I once found a book called "How to Cook Everything," but when I checked the index there was no baby recipe.

[*Sanosuke*]

Well now you know. And you know what GI Joe says....Cooking babies is half the battle.


Me though, I like mah babies honey coated and baked in the oven. Like a little ham with limbs. Mmmmm...Just like momma used to make.