An Eventful Weekend

[Ächilles]

So I'm sitting alone in my living room Saturday afternoon, just watching the tube and munchin' on grapes, when I hear the mailbox slot open outside. So I put down my bowl of fruit, and walk outside to retrieve the mail. I walk back into my house, and shuffle through the usual bills and sweepstakes proposals. There is a letter to my sister from my aunt, and one of my dad's running magazines. Then, to change up the day, I find a letter addressed to me at the end of it.

To my extreme confusion the letter is from The Department Social Services. I'm a godfather to my cousin, Frankie, but if he had been taken by them I'm sure I would have heard of something going down. So other than that, I couldn't think of anything it could be for.

So I open my later, and basically piss myself from shock.

Mr. Sweeney,

We regret to inform you that the family caring for your child, Jagajeevan Utkarsh Adani-Sweeney, has been killed in a tragic accident. On the evening of Thursday, January 17th, 2007 were attacked in their home in New Delhi by an abnormally large group of Rhesus Macaques monkeys.

The animals have a long standing history of causing trouble to the public in New Delhi. Last Thursday eveneing, Mr. and Mrs. Adani were having a small cookout in their yard with young Utkarsh when the thirty or so animals came storming into the yard, presumably attracted by the firelight and scent of food. Onlookers claim that Mr. and Mrs. Adani were attacked and badly injured trying to fend the animals off from your son. They died later that evening in intensive care at Ram Manohar Lohia Hospital due to complications of bite wounds.

According to the agreement between you and the Adani party, should anything ever happen to both Gajanan and Vijayalakshmi, Utkarsh would be promptly sent back to the United States to be under your care. The emergency fund created by you and the Adani party has already been used under terms of the agreement to house Utkarsh until an available flight was found, and then transport him back to the United States.

Utkarsh is expected to arrive at Logan Airport in Boston, Massachusetts, on Wednesday, January 30th. Upon his arrival, he will be taken by the Boston Division of the Department of Social Services assuming he has no communicable diseases or does not violate any other terms of entering the country.

The DSS is awaiting your reply so that we may meet and set up the transfer of Utkarsh into your care. Once again, we are sorry for your loss, and hope to hear from you soon.

Julia E. Keenan
Department of Social Services

So. Yeah.

As I said, other than the execution of the act of urination within my pants, the only other thing going on was the fact that I was wondering WHAT THE HELL?

I've never been to India, nor did I set up any 'fund' to pay for my son's dead foster parents. How could I set it up if I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD A SON?

So there are two options here. Either something got seriously screwed up, or I somehow have a son. Unfortunately, the former of those two possibilities has already been debunked as the kid's medical records already confirmed he was my son beforehand.

So this leaves something... surprising. As you guys all know, I had a serious thing with Glam (http://tacticsarenaonline.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16472) a few years ago. Admittedly, she is the only girl I have ever had sex with, and I am the only guy she has ever had sex with.

So... we've talked and stuff. And well. DAMMIT.

[Punishment]

Woah.

That's intense.

Teach him martial arts, and make him fight chuck liddell.

[mushroom_girl]

Oh, about that....

Seriously though, Achy...Since Glam isn't Indian from what I can tell, I'd say it's either a huge prank or a HUGE HUGE mixup.

Might wanna call someone about this. :\

<3 Best of luck with Mike Jr.

[shurtugal]

wow....that is the only word i can muster... wow...

[pils]

You know what?
That title pissed me off... Because my weekend was supposed to be awesome, and it just turned to shit.
But eh, I can find solace in that you had a worse one than I did, even if its just a joke.

[Matrim]

dude, damn... roflmao.

[Ächilles]

even if its just a joke.

I can dream, I guess.

DAMMIT.

[shurtugal]

dude this has got to suck

[Glamdring]

Learn to keep private matters private.

[Ächilles]

Seriously, Brooke. They already know we were together. We haven't spoken in public (here) in like two years. Why are you being so ridiculous? Do you plan on keeping this kid a secret from the rest of the world after it's all figured out? Why can't they know? Did you have to close that thread?

[Matrim]

dude, the tao drama llama is back!!!

[DIGIX]

Unlock it!

[Glamdring]

Seriously, Brooke. They already know we were together. We haven't spoken in public (here) in like two years. Why are you being so ridiculous? Do you plan on keeping this kid a secret from the rest of the world after it's all figured out? Why can't they know? Did you have to close that thread?
Yes, I did. You're bringing some of the worst moments of my life into brilliant, vivid memory. Can we not discuss this privately?

[pils]

I don't believe a word of it! You can't make me!

[Ächilles]

We already discussed all there is to discuss. You had a bun in the oven and neglected to tell me. You plan on maintaining this secret?

[DIGIX]

Edit: Wow..

V

[Glamdring]

We already discussed all there is to discuss. You had a bun in the oven and neglected to tell me. You plan on maintaining this secret?
You were too young, I didn't want to put that burden on your shoulders. Plus I think I would have been arrested based on our ages at the time <_< There was no way I could admit who the father was.

I tried to do things right and everything just got more and more screwed up. After a certain point that fund I set up in your name was the only thing I could do at all. I didn't think it would ever come up.

[pils]

Why would you set it up in his name?!

[Glamdring]

I couldn't legally have it in mine, for one. I'd been disallowed anything remotely considered "contact" with the kid. For two, I didn't think it would ever be used. For three, it's his right/responsibility as a father to have a place in that boy's life.

"the kid", "that boy"... hell, I don't even know what to call my own son.

[Ächilles]

You were too young, I didn't want to put that burden on your shoulders. Plus I think I would have been arrested based on our ages at the time <_< There was no way I could admit who the father was.

I tried to do things right and everything just got more and more screwed up. After a certain point that fund I set up in your name was the only thing I could do at all. I didn't think it would ever come up.

Oh. I was too young to know I had a son, but mature enough to be working endlessly to fly out to Cali and see you? Mature enough to sleep with you? You couldn't even tell me?

Tried to do things right? So you thought having DSS punt the freakin' kid through my window was a good way to break the news to me?

[DIGIX]

Ach your name is ''Michael McSweeney''..

[Ächilles]

I couldn't legally have it in mine, for one. I'd been disallowed anything remotely considered "contact" with the kid. For two, I didn't think it would ever be used. For three, it's his right/responsibility as a father to have a place in that boy's life.

"the kid", "that boy"... hell, I don't even know what to call my own son.

Jagajeevan Utkarsh Adani-Sweeney. But apparently they use his middle name.

As I said, sure, I should be in the kid's life. But generally, people don't get hurdled into their foster-orphaned bastard son's life AFTER he's been living in another country in secret for a year and a half!

[Elentari]

Learn to stop hiding from your mistakes.

[pils]

How did the kid end up in India?
edit: Just so I can keep up, how old is Ach now? Glam too for that matter?

[Matrim]

ooh burn!

[Ächilles]

Ach your name is ''Michael McSweeney''..

I use McSweeney because there are like a gajillion other Michael Sweeneys in Boston. McSweeney was my family's original surname when they came over from Ireland. They changed it to Americanize it. So I use it to differentiate myself. Officially, it's Sweeney though.

[DIGIX]

Damn...

[pils]

Gets more elaborate by the minute doesn't it? Now elen is in on it?

[Ächilles]

Learn to stop hiding from your mistakes.

At least someone sees eye to eye with me.

Thanks for unlocking this.

[T3km4n]

lol babies

[DIGIX]

I see.

I know I shouldn't be in your business between the both of your secret relationship in the past, but holy hell. All this pops up now, how strange..all due to the fact that shurtgal bumped it.

Man, A lot of things can happen in 1 day.

[Wisher]

4 posts in 1 minute =O.

[pils]

Ach.
Why wouldn't you just call Glam?
If no number, why not use AIM?
If forgotten AIM, why not PM?

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE HANGIN ON THE TELEPHONE WIRE

[DIGIX]

Gets more elaborate by the minute doesn't it? Now elen is in on it?

Everything is happening so fast..How the hell could this possibly be...


You guys had to have sex...

But you implied in your ''Confession'' thread that you've been saving cash to fly and see her.

So when you were in her state in 04, you had sex?

then went back to your state.


damn..

[T3km4n]

lol babies still

[pils]

T3km4n has his priorities intact. Go T3km4n.

[Matrim]

t3k you are my god. this is cua btw.

[DIGIX]

T3km4n has his priorities intact. Go T3km4n.

Perhaps.. A.D.D.


/Babiez.

[Ächilles]

Gets more elaborate by the minute doesn't it? Now elen is in on it?

Ele is her sister, in case you didn't know.

Ach.
Why wouldn't you just call Glam?
If no number, why not use AIM?
If forgotten AIM, why not PM?

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE HANGIN ON THE TELEPHONE WIRE

Dude, I was in a relationship with her. You think I don't have her number and AIM? I did call her, and we did discuss it. This is where we met, and we've always shared our lives with you guys. You can find our breakup arguments if you look hard enough.

[***Duo***]

This has got to be one huge joke.


-Duo

[DIGIX]

What a surprise.

[Glamdring]

Jagajeevan Utkarsh Adani-Sweeney. But apparently they use his middle name.

As I said, sure, I should be in the kid's life. But generally, people don't get hurdled into their foster-orphaned bastard son's life AFTER he's been living in another country in secret for a year and a half!

Okay, I can understand why you're upset, can we PLEASE discuss this privately?

How far will "I'm really really REALLY sorry" get me?

and irt pils: I didn't know where they took him, the organization involved was very selective, and very secretive. I got involved with them because I thought they could help me. I wanted a natural outdoor birth, and they told me they would take care of everything. There was a very strict screening process, and I believed every word they told me.

I ended up broke, and alone. I had already had to move out of LA because of the whole thing, and after the birth I couldn't find a single trace of the organization. It took me a year of research to find enough information to get that fund set up, they had done a very good job of blocking me from the child's life. I still don't know what the purpose was.

[Matrim]

duo, i keep thinking that, but if its true, wowzers.

[T3km4n]

lol jobs

[pils]

Okay, I can understand why you're upset, can we PLEASE discuss this privately?

How far will "I'm really really REALLY sorry" get me?

and irt pils: I didn't know where they took him, the organization involved was very selective, and very secretive. I got involved with them because I thought they could help me. I wanted a natural outdoor birth, and they told me they would take care of everything. There was a very strict screening process, and I believed every word they told me.

I ended up broke, and alone. I had already had to move out of LA because of the whole thing, and after the birth I couldn't find a single trace of the organization. It took me a year of research to find enough information to get that fund set up, they had done a very good job of blocking me from the child's life. I still don't know what the purpose was.
Perhaps as an excuse to divert questions that members of an arbitrary game forum might have?

Depending on the last thing your sister saw before she went to bed, she might have a message from me to you. :angry: (that seems too angry... I want kind of an indifferent angry.... ohhh well...)

[Blexican]

omgwtfbbq, someone other than glam or ach please pm me on whats going on. Im so confused i actually started twitching. help.

[T3km4n]

Okay, so here's the solution. The baby is from India(obviouisly going to grow up to be a terrorist). What we have to do in this situation is bring the baby up believing that the UNITED STATES is in fact INDIA, while INDIA is the UNITED STATES. In this way, we can counterattack the terrorist forces with their own goddamned weaponry.

[Ächilles]

How far will "I'm really really REALLY sorry" get me?

I HAVE A SON NAMED UTKARSH.

[Matrim]

ach, you made my life. not just one day, the whole thing. best quote ever!

[pils]

Ele is her sister, in case you didn't know.
Yeah i knew... Which is why it makes sense that she was the next person to come into this very entertaining little... play...
Next up for a guest appearance is Iceman, who will somehow be incorporated into the story. Then Uniq will be next, and they will discuss how its a shame that they aren't "second" cousins...:wacko: Uh huh... Uh huh.... Called it. :yes2:


Dude, I was in a relationship with her. You think I don't have her number and AIM? I did call her, and we did discuss it. This is where we met, and we've always shared our lives with you guys. You can find our breakup arguments if you look hard enough.

I'll never believe it! You toss up to much of a "smart," (for lack of better word) persona to be that stupid!

[Ächilles]

Whatever. Think what you want. I'm done arguing with you.

[pils]

Ach, how many government agents are you going to have to fight off to get your son?

[_Thunder_]

I HAVE A SON NAMED UTKARSH.

Omg this turns so many corners in my mind about the first time I found out that you 2 were dating. I still remember. Now i was not gunna get on TAO anymore but omg blex showed me this and I had to put a word in. I do not even know what to think.

Glam your awsome but HOW COULD YOU KEEP A BABY FROM HIS ASS!

and Ach : If you ever get to be part of that kids life, treat him right. I know you will.

[Blexican]

UTKARSH Sweeney

[pils]

My mind has just participated in the BME pain Olympics.

[Zander]

Hey guys, Glam just got married.

[pils]

Whatever. Think what you want. I'm done arguing with you.


Gawd... You just made me The Cheat...
Thanks....

[Matrim]

zander, one crazy lie i want to believe with all my funny bone at a time...

[Zander]

Wait, HOLY SHIT. I thought it was glam that got married. Theburning = married?!?
edit: i don't know theburning!

[Matrim]

yeah she is... she has her house, she had a thread about the floor plan lol.

[pils]

Wait, were the two threads on this merged?

[Zander]

Yes, over time.

[Glamdring]

BLARGH.

Pils, he did call me, and we did talk before he posted anything... and to be honest I never asked him not to. He's right, TAO played a huge role in our relationship together, we wouldn't even have met if not for this game. We've always been kind of out in the open about what goes on with us... until I did this.

You can't even imagine what I went through, and am going through. Or for that matter, what Mike is going through. I'm (re)living the biggest nightmare of my life, and I just need to freaking THINK for a bit.

I can't talk about this anymore, I'll get back to you tomorrow.

[DIGIX]

Tao Offers A Lot For The Community.

[Matrim]

dude, digix, i now offically love you. in a non gay way. obviously

[Ächilles]

I can't talk about this anymore, I'll get back to you tomorrow.

What the hell am I going to do until then? How do you expect me to sleep?

[dirka dirka]

If this isn't a joke, which at this point I really don't care if it isn't or is, then it definitely is a private matter. You're calling her out in front of a ton of people who are uninvolved? WTF, mate?

When it comes to "the boy" you, ach, have got no position to bitch regardless of anything. She didn't tell you about it? Too bad. It's the mother's choice in the end, always will be always has been. You might have donated some sperm, but that's all you did.

Edit: I'm not saying it doesn't suck. I'd be pissed. It's time to be a man though, and this is childish.

[uniquinous]

i'll meet you at logan on wednesday. we can slip pointy metal objects into people's pockets for fun while we wait.

[meat.eater]

Im pretty sure Social Security doesnt work in snail mail.

[uniquinous]

yeah US social security. We're talkin bout India. I'm guessing they're gonna be shipping this kid via FedEx superbox.

[shurtugal]

i have never seen a thread get re-oponed before in my 3 years playing

I think we should actually re-close it and let the two talk about it. But that is just my opinion

[uniquinous]

that's cuz, in your 7 years of playing this game, you haven't been on the forums too actively ;)

[High Heat]

Im pretty sure Social Security doesnt work in snail mail.

yeah US social security. We're talkin bout India. I'm guessing they're gonna be shipping this kid via FedEx superbox.

Uniq, you've got this totally backwards. Have you ever tried to work with customer service people based in India? Like with a DSL hookup? No way they're using something so efficient as FedEx over there.

I'm thinking that poor little Utkarsh is gonna get shipped bulk mail to Boston...by way of Botswana, Bhutan, Belarus and Boa Vista, Brazil. :(

[Hugh Junit]

I'll take him.
Utkarsh can come and live with me and my family. We'll treat him like our own son, and my daughters will think of him as a brother.
But I'm changing his name to Rick Astly Donohue (RAD) and I'll be starting his American Idol training just as soon as he settles in.
Think about it. His life story alone is 24 karat gold.

[uniquinous]

all i'm saying is, those turban wearing terrorists better remember to put some holes in the box this time. also, if it's bulk, they better not mix up the kid for the enraged monkeys. those would be horrible to find popping out of the box. chaos.

No, india, despite having a rich culture and custom for turban wearing, has nothing to do with terrorism - I'm making fun of the noobtards who don't seem to understand that

[WaCk-HeAd]

Getting killed by monkeys. Lame.

[uniquinous]

hey wasn't there some movie a while back about a bunch of people trying to... get into a lost temple or something? And that the protector monkeys would like, totally kill them hard? That movie was awesome (even tho I can't remember ANYTHING about it past the above summary), and directly refutes your point.

Seriously tho - what was that movie? Was it any good?

[_Thunder_]

hey wasn't there some movie a while back about a bunch of people trying to... get into a lost temple or something? And that the protector monkeys would like, totally kill them hard? That movie was awesome (even tho I can't remember ANYTHING about it past the above summary), and directly refutes your point.

Seriously tho - what was that movie? Was it any good?

This is not even on topic.

[EatMine]

This is not even on topic.Right.
Congratulations on your new baby, Ach! Here is some practical advice (http://www.sutree.com/how-to/15293/Learn-to-Change-a-Diaper-on-a-Baby#) to start with

[Hugh Junit]

hey wasn't there some movie a while back about a bunch of people trying to... get into a lost temple or something? And that the protector monkeys would like, totally kill them hard? That movie was awesome (even tho I can't remember ANYTHING about it past the above summary), and directly refutes your point.

Seriously tho - what was that movie? Was it any good?

I think you're thinking of Congo.
The book ( Micheal Crichton ) was pretty good as I remember, though I probably read it 10 years ago or more.
The movie, if I remember correctly, was pretty bad.

[Hoolwath]

Achilles, you must have been horrible for Glam to call your first-born child Utkarsh. I wonder what you ever did to her.

[uniquinous]

This is not even on topic.*blank stare*

I think you're thinking of Congo.
The book ( Micheal Crichton ) was pretty good as I remember, though I probably read it 10 years ago or more.
The movie, if I remember correctly, was pretty bad.Oh yeah! Congo! But the point was, all the killer monkeys burned in magma (which is why it is on topic).

[Zander]

Micheal Crichton sounds familiar. Congo doesn't ring any bells at all. I think I know someone who read it.

[Match Strike]

Oy vey.

[Anarchy_United]

Errrr... isn't Glam a guy... and the letter seems... well, kind of rediculous.

[uniquinous]

someone's parents never sat them down and gave them the talk on the bees and the bees

[Jeffery]

1) It was killer Gorillas, not monkeys.
2) Zander, I doubt you've ever read a book they didn't make you read for school.
3) Its the birds and the bees there Uni. The republicans banned teaching bees and bees.

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Hmmm...

I'm having a hard time believing all this. It sounds like a joke to me as I rarely see Glam on and it just so happens that she's on when Ach posted this. Plus I see no reason to post this on a public forum since this is a very private matter thats nobody else's business. So I'm inclined to think this is a big joke.

If this is true, then wow...

[Daemon Bloodmaw]

Hmm.. Maybe when I come home from college I ought to finally drive up to see Ach & Cav.

[Hugh Junit]

I'm having a hard time believing all this. It sounds like a joke to me as I rarely see Glam on and it just so happens that she's on when Ach posted this. Plus I see no reason to post this on a public forum since this is a very private matter thats nobody else's business. So I'm inclined to think this is a big joke.


I'm going to start calling you "Sunshine".
Because you're so bright.
:)

[WaCk-HeAd]

Hahahahahaha

I love it when I'm being a huge dork by reading this forum and laughing out loud in the library, just to realise everybody is staring at me.

Hahaha, you suck, Hugh.

[Worker]

Hahahahahaha

I love it when I'm being a huge dork by reading this forum and laughing out loud in the library, just to realise everybody is staring at me.

Hahaha, you suck, Hugh.They ALWAYS stare at you and who can blame them?

[Elentari]

Hmm.. Maybe when I come home from college I ought to finally drive up to see Ach & Cav.

By that time you'd probably be able to see Utkarsh too!

[Punishment]

By that time you'd probably be able to see Utkarsh too!

Hey ele

How would you like to be the mother of Utkarsh Jr. I could be your babys daddy. I'm also an expert at fighting off monkeys.

[Elentari]

Hey ele

How would you like to be the mother of Utkarsh Jr. I could be your babys daddy. I'm also an expert at fighting off monkeys.

Wouldn't that mean that I had the baby with Utkarsh Sr. though? No thanks, that's incestuous and perverted you freak.

[Jeffery]

Wouldn't that mean that I had the baby with Utkarsh Sr. though? No thanks, that's incestuous and perverted you freak.
It's only like a nephew.....

Not that incestuous.

[Punishment]

It's only like a nephew.....

Not that incestuous.

Your morals shine.

Speaking of that, what's the rule on second cousins?

And elentari, we would just NAME it utkarsh in the likeness of his ... cousin.

Besides, Utkarsh is my middle name.

[Shiny Flors]

Wow! Knocked up your former TAO sweetheart. This is so real, you can't make up stuff this crazy.


So you could always change the kids name if you don't like it and you'll probably have to get married now.

[Glamdring]

Wow! Knocked up your former TAO sweetheart. This is so real, you can't make up stuff this crazy.


So you could always change the kids name if you don't like it and you'll probably have to get married now.

No, he is not going to do anything. I'm going to go get my kid and bring him home, and Ach can just go one with life.

[Hugh Junit]

Hahaha, you suck, Hugh.

You wish, Wack.
:cool:

[Zander]

2) Zander, I doubt you've ever read a book they didn't make you read for school.
ARE YOU EFFING SHITTING ME?!?
Those typical books that people read for school are the ones I'm most likely to've not read. Pride & Prejudice is probably the closest I've read to that(other than lord of the flies which I hated before & after reading it), and I read it entirely separate from school; not that I've heard it mentioned as curriculum reading, because I haven't. I just know someone that's done a book report on it.

Hoo boy, bad call.

[uniquinous]

while I'm sure you get your read on, that post only outline stuff you've been forced to read, or stuff you dont want to read :p

So Ach, meet you there tonight? You bring the box of small swiss army knives? I'll bring the assorted chemical residues?

[Northwind]

What has TAO come to? I've been a little inactive lately, but this is ridiculous. Are we really as cold-hearted as it appears from this thread?

In all this blathering back and forth, I can't believe no one has taken a moment to think about poor Utkarsh. I mean, there he was, hanging out with his adoptive parents when a troop of some kind of supermonkeys drops down out out the trees and beats the living shit out of them.

Think about how horrified you would be if you were sitting there and some badass monkeys on a three-day crack binge came and basically ate your family in front of you. Can you imagine a more traumatic moment?

And all you guys can think about is the state of Ach and Glam's relationship? Shame on you! Won't someone please think about the children? Well, child anyway.

I was so moved by this that I was inspired to start up a charitable fund for the unfortunate Utkarsh Sweeney. I'm hoping that if we all contribute a little bit, that we can get him some first-rate seeing-your-parents-eaten-by-monkeys counseling and maybe a college scholarship fund or something. Anyway, I'll be setting up a website for donations, but in the mean time, I'm sure Utkarsh could use some of our prayers this evening.

[Zander]

Think about how horrified you would be if you were sitting there and some badass monkeys on a three-day crack binge came and basically ate your family in front of you.
Seems to me like you've got a little bit more information on the subject than is good for your innocence, North.

[Ächilles]

Brooke is taking Utkarsh.

I'm moving the hell away.

[shurtugal]

What has TAO come to? I've been a little inactive lately, but this is ridiculous.


so you had the power to stop TAO the way it is now and turn it to a golden age?

[Hugh Junit]

And all you guys can think about is the state of Ach and Glam's relationship? Shame on you! Won't someone please think about the children? Well, child anyway.


Hey, I offered to let him come and live with my family!
Provided, after a series of grueling tests performed by a panel of certified professionals, he showed at least some aptitude for the singing and/or dancing arts.
I just want what's best for Utkrash. I mean, um, Utkarsh

[Northwind]

Hey, I offered to let him come and live with my family!
Provided, after a series of grueling tests performed by panel of certified professionals, he showed at least some aptitude for the singing and/or dancing arts.
I just want what's best for Utkrash. I mean, um, Urtkarsh

Hmmm . . . are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Utkarsh = Sanjaya 2?

Well, I hate to exploit someone else's tragedy, but you can take that to the bank!

[Hugh Junit]

Hmmm . . . are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Utkarsh = Sanjaya 2?

Well, I hate to exploit someone else's tragedy, but you can take that to the bank!


Well, yeah. I mean, no. I was thinking more along the lines of, um...
Dammit, Northwind! You can't have him! I'm hitching my wagon to this star, and there's no room for freeloaders. Besides myself, of course.
The important thing here is that Uktsash is healthy and happy.
I mean, Utkarsh.

[T3km4n]

im drunk

[Greed]

Hugh, I honestly hate to shatter your dreams of sabotaging American Idol with young Utkarsh, but I don't believe corrupting a future United Airlines' telephone operator is very fair (much like stereotypes). Aladdin or Utkarsh, whichever, was not involved in your relationship failure with Paula Abdul. I mean... we all know you're still upset things went South between you and Paula after she realized opposites don't actually attract, but don't use him as a tool for revenge.

Plus, his deceased foster parents attempted to make a fortune through the same measures and look what happened to them. Do you really want to be mauled by monkeys? Heck, they worked Utkarsh day-in and day-out, teaching him about the many different dancing techniques, not even allowing the occasional Slurpee break. But in the end, his father did release one of their home videos and Utkarsh was an instant internet prodigy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq--g4zIuNA

Fortunately, I'm sure Glam would never abuse the child for his incredible dancing talent, yet damn, that boy has moves. I wish I could break it down like he does.

[Hoolwath]

Brooke is taking Utkarsh.

I'm moving the hell away.

Mature.


For shame.


Samurai would never do that.

[uniquinous]

edit: nvm :(

[gigolojlo gl]

Getting killed by monkeys. Lame.

Agreed.

[Lex]

I'm definately renaming my beta-fish Utkarsh in tribute to this future God of American entertainment / crappy tech services.

[Liquid Swordsman]

does Glam smell like sweaty computer chair? And if she did, does that turn you on?

[ChainHeart]

hahahahahah

<3 tao drama

[Lex]

I'm definately renaming my beta-fish Utkarsh in tribute to this future God of American entertainment / crappy tech services.

It died :(
Whatever happened to this situation?!?! Is teh baby okay?!

[Jeffery]

ditto

[pils]

The joke got old...