Northwind
04-08-2008, 07:22 PM
Gryph 2
Achilles 2
Northwind 3
Hugh Junit
And the final vote comes out in favor of Northwind!!!!!!!!
I thought Gryph might have wrapped it up, since he was actively asking people to vote. Bad sadly enough, TAO Apathy reaigns supreme yet again.
Congratulations to Northwind. TAO President for the next 4 years.
Well, the results are in, and I have been crowned the TAO President and dictator for life (or something like that). All I have to say is this . . . YOU FOOLS! Do you have any idea how many different ways that I can think of to abuse the power you have so thoughtfully and apathetically thrust upon me? Luckily for you, MY apathy overrides even that of the majority of this forum and I probably won't be bothered with making your little lives that much more miserable than they already are. But there WILL be some changes around here.
But first, my inaugural speech!
For too long, the posters of TAO have toiled endlessly just to have "The Man" reap the benefits of their hard earned labor. For too long, they have lived in the shadow of legitimacy and have been mocked and belittled by "The Cool Kids." For too long, have the people of these forums been denied access to their computers and their gaming due to the mindless whims of "The Parents!"
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls of TAO, THAT DAY ENDS TODAY!!! Your deliverance has arrived! With me as your ruler, we will take the power back from the "Seeds" and the "Redbones" and the "Sergys" and take what is rightfully ours! *shakes fist* Have we not made TAO the powerful behemoth that it is today? Have we not invested our own blood and sweat into making these forums a place of idiocy and ill-repute? Do they think that this just happens by accident? Noooooo! It was our efforts that made this what it is and WE shall be taking it back starting today! As I speak, my minions are hard at work diverting all of the gold account funds to my personal band account. With this money, I will be able to purchase more minions and lackeys to divert yet more internet money to me. (Which of course I'll use to . . . um . . . further the . . . um . . . people's voice or whatever. Plus, to buy a really kickass motorcycle.)
Also, the so-called "cool kids" will have us at their mercy no longer. Should any of them dare to say such cutting remarks as "Dude, what are you playing? Some kind of chess for dorks?" or "Why don't you get a 'real life' dipwad?" We shall be ready for them, with such witty comments as "I know you are, but what am I?" and "My dad can beat up your dad." These "cool kids" will wither and fade away under our caustic counter-attacks and shall trouble us no more.
As for the parents, we shall unite as one and refuse to do any of our chores or homework until they let us finish watching the last 15 minutes of Invader Zim.
For you see, citizens of TAO, the power has resided in your hands all along. Under my soul-crushing, dictatorial, autocratic rule we shall unite as one and defeat our (or at least my) enemies! Viva el revolución!
Now is the time for me to pull out my newly acquired iron fist and use it against my enemies.
First of all, to the naysayers out there.
I don't think any election can be considered legitimate with .03% turnout.
My first new law will be that any election that appoints me as supreme ruler will be considered legitimate. (See how my logic runs circles around you, Realist?)
Second, I decree that everyone will address me with respect. And by "everyone," I don't mean the people here on the forums. I don't really give a crap what any of you call me (except for dirka, who must refer to me as his "lord and master"). However, in REAL LIFE everyone now has to refer to me "The Omnipotent Northwind." I've been trying to get my family and friends to call me that for years, with no luck whatsoever in that department. That all changes now.
Third, I will be making some cabinet appointments. These are very important to assure that things at the Tactics Arena General Forms run smoothly.
Vice President: Lord Achilles. Unlike most vice-presidents, Ach will have full authority to pass and enforce laws, as well as to give serious beat downs to anyone deserving of such treatment. (You hear me, dirka? huh, punk? You want a piece of me? huh? Well, you gotta go through my VP first!)
Secretary of Partying Down: Hugh Junit. I won’t even have to give him any direction. He was born for this position.
Secretary of Posting: Jeffery. I mean seriously, talk about over-qualified.
Ambassador to Slovakia: Hoolwath. He already lives there and plus, he voted for me, so he probably expects me to throw him a sinecure.
Ambassador to Andorra: Wack-Head. OK, I admit it, this was just a little mean-spirited of me. It’s just that Wack will have to work for a country even smaller and more insignificant than the Netherlands. (Oooh, and I almost forgot – Secretary of Ownage: Me).
Secretary of Argumentativeness: Realist. Only the best can serve in my cabinet.
Secretary of Burrito Smoking: Lonely Tylenol. You know what they say about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. Plus, the presidency is a pretty stressful job, I’m gonna need to kick back and smoke a fat burrito every now and then.
Secretary of Being Gryph: Gryph. Best job ever.
Ambassador to Purple Fonts: Lex. See, voting for me has it’s perks.
Well, with that, I’m finding the burden of all these appointments, well . . . burdensome. So, rather than being offended if you were left off of the list, please post the position that you would like in the New World Order.
And, thanks. I’ll try to remember my gratitude when I’m crushing you underfoot in my endless pursuit of power.
Achilles 2
Northwind 3
Hugh Junit
And the final vote comes out in favor of Northwind!!!!!!!!
I thought Gryph might have wrapped it up, since he was actively asking people to vote. Bad sadly enough, TAO Apathy reaigns supreme yet again.
Congratulations to Northwind. TAO President for the next 4 years.
Well, the results are in, and I have been crowned the TAO President and dictator for life (or something like that). All I have to say is this . . . YOU FOOLS! Do you have any idea how many different ways that I can think of to abuse the power you have so thoughtfully and apathetically thrust upon me? Luckily for you, MY apathy overrides even that of the majority of this forum and I probably won't be bothered with making your little lives that much more miserable than they already are. But there WILL be some changes around here.
But first, my inaugural speech!
For too long, the posters of TAO have toiled endlessly just to have "The Man" reap the benefits of their hard earned labor. For too long, they have lived in the shadow of legitimacy and have been mocked and belittled by "The Cool Kids." For too long, have the people of these forums been denied access to their computers and their gaming due to the mindless whims of "The Parents!"
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls of TAO, THAT DAY ENDS TODAY!!! Your deliverance has arrived! With me as your ruler, we will take the power back from the "Seeds" and the "Redbones" and the "Sergys" and take what is rightfully ours! *shakes fist* Have we not made TAO the powerful behemoth that it is today? Have we not invested our own blood and sweat into making these forums a place of idiocy and ill-repute? Do they think that this just happens by accident? Noooooo! It was our efforts that made this what it is and WE shall be taking it back starting today! As I speak, my minions are hard at work diverting all of the gold account funds to my personal band account. With this money, I will be able to purchase more minions and lackeys to divert yet more internet money to me. (Which of course I'll use to . . . um . . . further the . . . um . . . people's voice or whatever. Plus, to buy a really kickass motorcycle.)
Also, the so-called "cool kids" will have us at their mercy no longer. Should any of them dare to say such cutting remarks as "Dude, what are you playing? Some kind of chess for dorks?" or "Why don't you get a 'real life' dipwad?" We shall be ready for them, with such witty comments as "I know you are, but what am I?" and "My dad can beat up your dad." These "cool kids" will wither and fade away under our caustic counter-attacks and shall trouble us no more.
As for the parents, we shall unite as one and refuse to do any of our chores or homework until they let us finish watching the last 15 minutes of Invader Zim.
For you see, citizens of TAO, the power has resided in your hands all along. Under my soul-crushing, dictatorial, autocratic rule we shall unite as one and defeat our (or at least my) enemies! Viva el revolución!
Now is the time for me to pull out my newly acquired iron fist and use it against my enemies.
First of all, to the naysayers out there.
I don't think any election can be considered legitimate with .03% turnout.
My first new law will be that any election that appoints me as supreme ruler will be considered legitimate. (See how my logic runs circles around you, Realist?)
Second, I decree that everyone will address me with respect. And by "everyone," I don't mean the people here on the forums. I don't really give a crap what any of you call me (except for dirka, who must refer to me as his "lord and master"). However, in REAL LIFE everyone now has to refer to me "The Omnipotent Northwind." I've been trying to get my family and friends to call me that for years, with no luck whatsoever in that department. That all changes now.
Third, I will be making some cabinet appointments. These are very important to assure that things at the Tactics Arena General Forms run smoothly.
Vice President: Lord Achilles. Unlike most vice-presidents, Ach will have full authority to pass and enforce laws, as well as to give serious beat downs to anyone deserving of such treatment. (You hear me, dirka? huh, punk? You want a piece of me? huh? Well, you gotta go through my VP first!)
Secretary of Partying Down: Hugh Junit. I won’t even have to give him any direction. He was born for this position.
Secretary of Posting: Jeffery. I mean seriously, talk about over-qualified.
Ambassador to Slovakia: Hoolwath. He already lives there and plus, he voted for me, so he probably expects me to throw him a sinecure.
Ambassador to Andorra: Wack-Head. OK, I admit it, this was just a little mean-spirited of me. It’s just that Wack will have to work for a country even smaller and more insignificant than the Netherlands. (Oooh, and I almost forgot – Secretary of Ownage: Me).
Secretary of Argumentativeness: Realist. Only the best can serve in my cabinet.
Secretary of Burrito Smoking: Lonely Tylenol. You know what they say about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. Plus, the presidency is a pretty stressful job, I’m gonna need to kick back and smoke a fat burrito every now and then.
Secretary of Being Gryph: Gryph. Best job ever.
Ambassador to Purple Fonts: Lex. See, voting for me has it’s perks.
Well, with that, I’m finding the burden of all these appointments, well . . . burdensome. So, rather than being offended if you were left off of the list, please post the position that you would like in the New World Order.
And, thanks. I’ll try to remember my gratitude when I’m crushing you underfoot in my endless pursuit of power.