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Machin Shin
02-05-2004, 06:27 AM
Thought I mith as well post this.
I wrote this to for my parents after they caught me 4 times on TAO whil I wasn't supposed to be. needless to say, I'm not the master of disguise. Here goes.

Why I Am A Member of "TAO Addicts Anonymous."
By Machin Shin

Tactics Arena Online, affectionately known to many as "TAO" is, in it's essence, a strategy game. It is fantasy based, as most games are, and is a thinking game - not for the witless. In the game itself, there are Pyromancers, who burn their way through any opposition, and Knights who slice and dice the enemy into manageable bites. There are Dragons and Archers (aka Scouts), Frost Golums that paralyze, units that heal, and units that provide extra armor. There is even a mole-like creature who "grows" shrubberys to hinder the enemy’s attempts to attack you're units. One might even go so far as to consider him as "cute." This game's basic objective is to hack, snipe, slice, burn, and paralyze you're opponent to the last "man" all the while making sure you're units are relatively safe by healing, providing extra armor, blocking the enemy’s path, and sometimes even sacrificing units for the greater cause. It is a game much more in-depth than mere words can describe. But that is not why I am writing this. I am writing this to explain to you what TAO MEANS to me.

I am, as you may or may not know, not the most popular person in the world. In fact, I am not popular at all. Although, I must admit, that if popularity means I have to have sex with every other girl, get drunk once a week, smoke, chew tobacco, cuss like a sailor, and listen the "junk" (that's putting it nicely) that is in/on today's secular music and TV, then I guess I'm going to stay a geek because I could care less about that stuph. I just don't see what's so "fun" about getting drunk (it SMELLS terrible) and having a hangover, or smoking and having to hide it, and having the few friends that I have ditch me because I always smoke or drink or whatever. That goes for drugs as well. But I digress. I do not have many friends in the "real world" and can't claim to have ever had a "best friend" the closest to which, would probably be my brother Dale. I am perfectly content to be left alone at school where I have a few friends, but mostly just acquaintances. People friendly in one class for one semester, and then nothing more. Mostly because most of the people at my school talk/act like idiots, and listen to rap, and then start to "chant" it out loud like it is the cool thing to do, which, for some strange reason, it is apparently. I never get invited to do ANYTHING with my church friends outside of church. I asked one of them to tell me when they were doing something again so I could come along? Nothing ever happened. My 4 main friends at church are kinda like a click. they’ve been friends since birth, and it's just the 4 of them when they do anything. 3 of them have accepted me, although it's taken them 7 years, and the last couldn't care less about me and tries to avoid me as much as possible. I have ha d a couple of friends stab me in the back, so to speak, and that is something I never really got over. I have as many enemies at school as I do acquaintances, and the rest don't know me. But I don't really like the lime light anyway. On TAO, it is a different story. On TAO, I am SOMEBODY. I have a name, and a reputation weather good or ill. People know me on TAO. I'm no superstar like people like Xerent or Snarr, but I am somebody online. I'm pretty good at the game, and I have friends online. Sadly enough, I think I have more friends and acquaintances online than in the "real world". on TAO, nobody judges you on you're appearance. only on you're skill, and you're reputation as a jerk or a nice guy. No one ever calls me by my last name like it's some derogatory term. I am RESPECTED online. Something I have never gotten from my peers in HS. Not to float my own boat because I'm sure it's happened to others, but I’ve even had someone call me "master" and want to be my servant. Weird, but kinda satisfying as well. I get from TAO what I have never gotten in the "real world." Respect from my peers, acknowledgment, friendship regardless of race or appearance, and did I mention respect?
I recently was invited to join the clan PheonixReborne by The Celluloidal Dream simply because I am "in the forums" and can get the word spread about our clan, which, by the way, is second in the clan placement. Second only to Outcast (which rejected me). Apparently, it had nothing to do with the fact that I am a great player. There you have it. On TAO I get respect simply because people know me. Now of course, online, there are much less savory people. People that cuss, and use sexual terms. I proudly tell them off. I tell them that if those are the best insults that they can fling, then they don't deserve to be in TAO. I tell them tat TAO is a thinking man's game, and that mindless curses have no place here. Any idiot can curse. It takes true wit to be funny. However, with the bad, there is also the good. I have met other Christians online. Some even have names like "Jesus is my Savior" and the like. I realize that TAO perhaps does not have the most savory of people, but they are a minority. most on TAO treat each other with respect, because, as they have learned, or simply understand, you have to give respect to earn it. Now, I realize that I have not been the model character for what I have just said. I'd even go so far as to say that it is kinda Hypocritical for me to say something like that. But that is something I am trying to change, but it's hard for a wagon to get out of a rut, right? Just know that I am trying. as to the fact, of TAO's unsavory people, it DOES have some savory people. I met a "guy" (he knows who he is) from paris yesterday. well, I didn't meet him yesterday, but I learned FROM him that he lives in Paris. now THAT is cool.

TAO is much like the real world, and in fact, it IS the real world. you make friends, from every corner of the world, I might add, and you make enemies. Although, as to the enemies, I never see any of the TWO people who hate my guts online. as to the enemies, you learn to ignore them as in the real world. or, you could always insult them till they leave, but I refuse to have a battle of wits with an un-armed person. And I have countless friends online, so...

I guess, to me, TAO is kinda like a haven to me. A place where people know me, and I know people (he's really nice, this guy called "people". You really ought to meat him.). A place where I can go, and feel wanted. Or at least accepted. I probably spend more time talking to people online than I do actually playing the game. I think that's about it.

*NOTE* EDITED FOR CONTENT

Mystic Wanderer
02-05-2004, 06:47 AM
First one to finish reading the longest ever post!
As one of the unlucky people born at the age where tactcians aren't as important as movie stars, this is the plane where I can express my talent:) and live the way I like to live.
Thanx for sharing ur experience:)

Shuichi
02-05-2004, 06:51 AM
Omg, so long. I will read and say something more constructive after I sleep ><.

jwade29
02-05-2004, 06:57 AM
As a christian myself I think it would be fun to play with you sometime and chat. It's cool you have found TAO and can get some enjoyment out of it. I was a major Everquest addict (about 4 and a half years 8-12 hours a day) and during that time used much of your above reasoning when trying to convince my concerned parents that there was nothing wrong with the amount of time i spent online. As christians we have to be very careful about focusing on why we are here...to tell sinners that god can forgive them of their sins and to bring glory to him. If you are doing that through your gaming experience then great :). Just be careful not to alienate yourself from him by worhsiping this game and your in game status.
None of this may apply to you because you are likely not addicted like i was to eq, but just some things to think about.

god bless,

Jwade

Machin Shin
02-05-2004, 07:52 AM
Thanks for you're thoughts, jwade29. I probubly would be that addicted, if I could be that addicted, but I can't be that addicted. Mainly because My parents have banned my from their computer (the only 1 with int. access). But I play at school whenever I can.

Meat me on Army at 1:15 - 2:45 game time.

Yes, I know this is a long post. It took about 4 hours to write, and there are even 2 more paragraphs specifically to my parents that I edited out, and got rid of my name. The only names I left in, I left in for reference, or example, or what have you. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by not mentioning someone.

And because Of the possitive feedback I've recieved, (thank you) I don't have any regrets.

Actually, I typed this on my comp, then transfered it to an internet ready one via floppy. (still usefull, those lil things)
Copy, past, a few opening words, abracadabra, badabing, badaboom, and there you have it.

Furious_Angel
02-05-2004, 08:41 AM
Originally posted by Mystic Wanderer
First one to finish reading the longest ever post!
As one of the unlucky people born at the age where tactcians aren't as important as movie stars, this is the plane where I can express my talent:) and live the way I like to live.
Thanx for sharing ur experience:) rofl thats not even close to the longest post...

Mike the Mauler
02-05-2004, 11:39 AM
Machin, I'm happy that you've found a place where you can relax and be "at home". I'm sorry to hear about what happens to you in the "real" world, but know that you will always have a place here with us!

insignifiGant
02-05-2004, 05:06 PM
ok man.. I'm not even gonna bother reading that... it isn't important enough to occupy my time... I am simply posting cause my reaction to the essay in the first post was "damn!".

Aro23r
02-05-2004, 07:00 PM
Machin Shin. Although I would not categorize myself with those asshole, jock-like people who rap, curse, and all the rest of that fucking shit. (Just kidding, :)) I am not one who fits the same 'group' as you. (My apologizes for using that word, I couldn't think of another) But, in my other school I was, and I know what it is like. Just be yourself, my man.

I'm glad to see you have found an escape from the real world, as we all need one, regardless of what other people who post after this say.

Lord Achilles
02-05-2004, 08:50 PM
I agree, this is like a get away for me to. But for a different reason...I hate this time and age. I would give anything to live in a time of war, and swords and magic and evil. Today blows, to uninteresting.

Rescorlian
02-05-2004, 09:47 PM
Hmmm, as one who likes to write long posts and hates it when people do not read them I took the time to read it. I have in actually a similiar situation as yours. However I am a very different person. I drink, smoke and party whenever possible. However the people I do these things with are not what I would classify as "friends" more along the lines of people I like to hang out with.
I had a similiar situation in schooll as well, however I eventually reached a point where I refused to take it anymore and changed. I decided instead of letting things go the way they were going I would change it. The first thing I did was stopped taking crap form ANYONE. That included any bullies, I had to fight many fights to change the way I wanted to. The first couple of times I lost pretty bad. The great thing is that you gain excepriance and eventually obtain your goal. I then with my oppuratunity switched roles. I became the bully, not of the "nerds" and "geeks" or "uncool people" but rather the opposite. I made the bullies know that they wouldn't get away with it anymore. Cause if they tried they were gonna get in a scrap. And the most important thing to realise about a scrap is this. Even if you lose, your still gonna inflict damage, and anyone with a brain will avoid that if possible (I have no brain). So thus I changed myself, I still however had nor have any "real" friends, I do however have a good couple of buddies.

Now this is very anti to what a lot of people say as to just be yourself, it goes beyond that to something more important. The ability to change yourself, then be who you are as the new person. It takes alot of self searching and effort but it's definatly worth it. And I have great news for you. After HS, it get's better, aluva sudden you get to choose who you wanna be with no interferance, you become your own boss and don't have to listen to anyone except a magistrate.

What is my point? That even when things seem rough there is always a solution. Whether it be learn to be happy with status quo, or change things to the way you like them. And HS does end and then you get to choose your path.

Well that's what I thought of anyway when I read your post, I may have hit way of the mark as to what you were getting at however I think I hit pretty close atleast. And yeah I happen to agree that the online community is an idealistic place. The only problem is you can't get rid of the assholes or deal with them accordingly like you can in real life (meaning grabbing by throat and maiming them :D:D:D) But yeah that's all I've got to say :)

EDIT- yeah I totally agree achilles, I hate this age, were gonna be old by the time it get's to be fun and interesting. I'd love to live in the time when they get the technology for gundam designs and all those futuristic cool weapons. Yeah living in a time of war would be fun :) as long as you got to play with the toys :D:D

EDIT#2- I love TAO for one simple reason, here you haver to be able to think to play. IF you act like an idiot you iether get run out or ignored, and finally, you get to meet people from all different walks of life. You talk to them and learn from their thoughts, wisdom and excperiances and can mentally grow unlike any other situation.

Omega_Paladin
02-05-2004, 11:55 PM
(wipes away a tear) That's best post I have seen in a long time. This is a great thread.

Furious_Angel
02-06-2004, 12:25 AM
Originally posted by Rescorlian
Hmmm, as one who likes to write long posts and hates it when people do not read them I took the time to read it. I have in actually a similiar situation as yours. However I am a very different person. I drink, smoke and party whenever possible. However the people I do these things with are not what I would classify as "friends" more along the lines of people I like to hang out with.
I had a similiar situation in schooll as well, however I eventually reached a point where I refused to take it anymore and changed. I decided instead of letting things go the way they were going I would change it. The first thing I did was stopped taking crap form ANYONE. That included any bullies, I had to fight many fights to change the way I wanted to. The first couple of times I lost pretty bad. The great thing is that you gain excepriance and eventually obtain your goal. I then with my oppuratunity switched roles. I became the bully, not of the "nerds" and "geeks" or "uncool people" but rather the opposite. I made the bullies know that they wouldn't get away with it anymore. Cause if they tried they were gonna get in a scrap. And the most important thing to realise about a scrap is this. Even if you lose, your still gonna inflict damage, and anyone with a brain will avoid that if possible (I have no brain). So thus I changed myself, I still however had nor have any "real" friends, I do however have a good couple of buddies. thats EXACTLY how i feel... but i dont get in a lot of fight i just talk a wholeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bunch of shit... almost got teh crap beaten out me a few days ago for flickin someone off :D

Rescorlian
02-06-2004, 05:21 AM
Lol, yeah crap talking is a blast. Fun to do with just about anyone you see on the street, "HEY YOU!! YOUR UGLY AND YOUR MOM DRESSES YOU FUNNY!! Yeah! :D:D"
Actually in all honesty I never talk crap, to my memory I can think of maybe a dozen times in my life I have. I far prefer to remain totally silent until the person has dug their grave deep enough, and then withut any warning or sound, I mercilously kick the snot out of them. :D However it's fun to giveanyone and everyone the bird, or double kickstands. :)

Oh yeah and omega, if you were talking to me, thanx I try, however I had one heluva a post to work with. If you were talking to machine shin (should be) Yeah I agree totally, sniff, brings a tear to the eye :)

Machin Shin
02-06-2004, 06:29 AM
nice feedback everyone. I am very pleased
to quote soething from 1 of my OTHER threads, "so what do you think" -

"I will not condiscend, stoop, or otherwise lower myself to a level considerably lower than shoe scum by lobbing profanity and explitives right back at their orrigionator, but I will not hesitate to rebuke you till my fingers turn blue. Remember, any idiot can be vulger. it takes true wit to be funny."

S_K_O_F
02-06-2004, 09:25 AM
The people that say "Be Yourself" always seem to be those pothead, treehuggers who are living in their parents basement...the best thing about life is you dont have to be yourself, you can be whoever you want to be. Being yourself is easy, but if you want to be a doctor, a computer tech, a basketball player, whatever...it takes work!

I was pretty much what people would call a "loser" throughout junior high and the beginning of highschool, but I changed things. And still never lost sense of who i was...The main way I changed was through football...guys start having respect for you when you hit them hard enough to knock their helmet off or at least leave bruises...by the time i was a senior I was one of the most well known people in my highschool, but i was never in that really really super popular crowd...i socialized with them but I socialized with everyone which was why i was so well known. The loser little freshmen weren't afraid to come up and talk to me because they knew i wasnt gonna be the ass they stuffed them into a locker, but they were also smart enough not to mouth off to me because they saw what I did to people on the football field and knew what i was capable of...
I used sports to change my image because i was tired of being dogged on and getting shoved into a locker or having my books knocked out of my hands or whatever.

you know what is funny...turns out that many of those really really super popular people in my highschool spend most of their time now living in their parents home without a job, and half burned out from smoking weed and snorting cocaine

As sad as that is, that is what makes me smile!!! what goes around comes around

Machin Shin
02-06-2004, 10:40 AM
it's especially easy to be someone else on Online

S_K_O_F
02-06-2004, 10:43 AM
my attitude in this forum reflects who i am...I don't pretend to be someone else here...but i am old enough to have achieved who i wanted to be...as far as personality...I suppose if you are still searching for who you want to be then you could pretend to be someone or something you are not

Rescorlian
02-06-2004, 04:31 PM
Yeah I'd have to say I'm about the same. Who I am on the forum reflects alot who I am in reality. Quick to temper and brutal in my opinions. I am very forthright and I never coerce or manipulate. I also feel very very little emotion besides anger. I have always found that emotion is useless besides anger, emotion clouds the mind. Anger does this also but has a use a force that can push you beyond your limits and give you strength you were unaware you had.

I also have to agree totally with S.K.O.F's comment on being yourself, sure that's great if you can and do well in life. The truth of the matter is change is innevitable and can be a very posotive thing. You want something, you have to change things and yourself to get them.

Machin Shin
02-11-2004, 10:50 AM
Gads, Rescorlian, you're almost exactly like me. Not that that's a good thing, 1 of me is just fine thank you....
:D :D :D :D :D