Real Men of Genius

[The Butcher]

Lex, ED, and Aids have resurrected some of the funniest commercials known to man. The Bud Light Real Men of Genius commercials.

There are probably 100 of these in existence, and all of them are funny. Here is an example of one of my favorites:

Mr.. Over Zealous Foul Ball Catcher

Today we salute you, Mr. Over Zealous Foul Ball Catcher,
Mr. Over Zealous Foul Ball Catcher
You're no where's close to that foul ball heading for the bleachers, who cares? You're going for it.
That balls mine!!
Hot dog vendors, old ladies, infants, you mow them over like a diesel powered combine.
Yeah!!!
Ashamed of your souvenir fever? Hardly. You scratch and gouge your way to the ball like a blood thirty wolverine.
You're a feisty rodent
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr.. bully of the bleachers.
Because why pay for a souvenir, when you can fight for one?
Mr. Over Zealous Foul Ball Catcher

This thread is for sharing those, but mostly, for creating our own. Like "Mr. Cyber Obsessed Lobby Stalker".?

Today we salute you, Mr. Cyber Obsessed Lobby Stalker.
Mr. Cyber Obsessed Lobby Stalker!
It's four PM, on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Most of your friends are out playing sports. But you? You're cruising TAO for some hot tail.
Please no fat chicks!
Armed with a keyboard and unscented hand lotion, you badger would-be gamers relentlessly until someone finally responds to your ASL queries.
STFU!
Moderators? Ha. You just drive down to the local library, all the while scheming of your new, completely undetectable username.
HugejunkFTW420!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Internet-Kama Sutra.
Because those 30 year old guys, aren't going to cyber themselves.
Mr. Cyber Obsessed Lobby Stalker!


I'm sure we can come up with some better ones then that.. but you get the idea.

Have at it!

[max2k106]

Good thread. Would read again.

Will come back when I have thought of something funny to post.

[_Thunder_]

http://i43.tinypic.com/1zfigz4.png

[The Butcher]

Today we salute you, Mr. Shrub-Happy Furgon Player
Mr. Shrub-Happy Furgon Player!
Turtle sets, antis, bombs, hybrids.. None are a match for your forest inducing terror.
He kind of looks like a badger
So what if that poison wisp is slowing draining the power on four of your units? Who cares? You've almost completely blocked off the right side of the screen with shrubs.
This side is mine!
Your units - Furgon, assassin. Your opponents units - 1 knight. You know what that means...
Time to stall!!
So crack open a cold Bud Light oh sultan of the shrubs,
Because somewhere out there.. there are 5 tiles, calling your name.
Mr. Shrub-Happy Furgon Player!

[Sinyra]

lolol. love it.

[meat.eater]

In case people dont know how the voice pattern goes....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZxifQbhp5Q&feature=related

[Godmic18]

Today we salute you, Mr. Post Count Plus One With a Gigantic Signature
Mr. Post Count Plus One With a Gigantic Signature
Religion, politics, abortion, butt secks... No topic is complete without your single phrase interjection.
That's what she said!
You have a signature the size of Texas with enough neon text to light up a third world country, but you don't care.
Sunglasses at night!
Who needs an edit button when you can just reply? To yourself.
lol!
*rotflol!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. 360000 Posts... plus one
Because for every new post, you have ten one-liners ready.
Mr. Post Count Plus One With a Gigantic Siiiiiignatuuuuure

[The Butcher]

As usual,

Godmic is right on.

[The Butcher]

Today, we salute you, Mr. Pathologically Pretends To Be a Female on The Forums.
Mr. Pathologically Pretends To Be a Female on The Forums!
With over 22,000 members, there's bound to be a female, right? That's where you come in.
That's what she said!
Because what's more fun then encouraging random internet visitors into tripping over their feet for you? Nothing, that's what.
Loooook at me!!
Colorful text, adorable signature, sexual innuendos, phrases like *teehee*, Come on... this chick's legit.
Pics in two weeks!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Pathologically Pretends To Be a Female on The Forums,
Because the internet just wasn't creepy enough, without you.
Mr. Pathologically Pretends To Be a Female on The Forums!

[Wizzy`]

....

=[

[ExpectDeath]

Gold.

Really good thread.

[meat.eater]

Today we salute you, Mister Wanna Be a Mod in the Lobby Noob.
Mister Wanna Be a Mod in the Lobby Noob!
Day after day, your CAPS letters show the world proof of your supreme judgement capabilities.
I CAN HAZ MOD NOW?
Microsoft Word and MS Paint don't have good enough green text for you; no it is the TAO green text only that you aspire to.
Pretty colors make me happy!
And even in the face of imminent rejection, your sharp witted insults will roar you back up the status ladder.
At least IIIIIIII have a penis.
So sit back and crack open a bottle of Bud Light, Mister Wanna Be a Mod in the Lobby Noob,
Because the more often you ask, the better your chances are.
Mister Wanna Be A Mod in the Lobby Nooooooooob!

[The Butcher]

Hahaha

[Godmic18]

Shoulda done the backup text in that green. 8)

[Liquid Swordsman]

http://www.realmusicforum.com/wp-content/2009/06/maynard.jpg

[The Butcher]

Today we Salute you, Mr. Automated Thread Posting Bot.
Mr Automated Thread Posting Bot!
You blaze through the forum registering process in order to bring us unbeatable deals on our favorite goods and services.
Just trrrrryyyy and stop me!
Whether it's shoes, clothing, cellphones, or even slave children, we can always count on you for all our internet shopping needs.
Free shipping on slave children.
So what it's almost impossible to read your posts. Who cares? I can get a brand new pair of Jordans for $10.99.
Watch me fllllllyyyy!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh mighty internet salesbot,
And just remember, negative reputation is better then no reputation.
Mr Autoooooomaaaaatedddd Thread Pooooooosting Bot!

[_Thunder_]

lol butch these are great.

[meat.eater]

Today we salute you, Mister I Only Use The Internet as my Therapist Guy.
Mister I Only Use the Internet as my Therapist Guy!
Real advice is just too far out of your price range. Instead, you'd rather take on that WalMart-quality free advice that we so often hand out by the dozen:
At least you're not Helen Keller.
Tell us about your women, your crashed cars, your death in the family, your suicidal tendencies. We here at TAO yearn to make our forums a more accepting and sensitive place.
I wont make fun of you if you boost me.
Years later, when you return from your own death, you'll always be able to count on us to forgive you and not call you a liar.
You're just mentally retarded!
So crack open a nice cold bottle of Bud Light, Mister I Only Use the Internet as my Therapist Guy...
Because it's the only thing that can help you now.
Mister I Only Use the Internet as my Therapist Guuuuuuy!

[High Heat]

Today we salute you, Mr. Farewell Thread Guy
Mr. Farewell Thread Guuyyyyy!!!
You've got legions of e-friends and virtual-admirers who depend on you for daily insights on vital topics like what you ate for breakfast and what you're listening to. Heck, if you ever decided to sign off of the internet for good, they'd probably just stop having an internet.
You're so popular!
But the truth of it, buddy boy, is that the only one paying attention to your posts is your bot, and the rest of us probably wouldn't realize you were gone…unless, of course, you told us ahead of time.
Can you spell irony?
And everyone knows that nothing says "I'm leavin dis place fo relz," like making a thread begging for farewell responses, virtually assuring that you're not really leaving…but will be back to check them…over and over and over.
See you in ten minutes!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Got-Noplace-To-Be.
Because you know…hey, we all know…you're not really going anywhere.
Mr. Farewell Thread Guuyyyyyy!!!

[bdog1321]

Today we salute you, Mr. Farewell Thread Guy
Mr. Farewell Thread Guuyyyyy!!!
You've got legions of e-friends and virtual-admirers who depend on you for daily insights on vital topics like what you ate for breakfast and what you're listening to. Heck, if you ever decided to sign off of the internet for good, they'd probably just stop having an internet.
You're so popular!
But the truth of it, buddy boy, is that the only one paying attention to your posts is your bot, and the rest of us probably wouldn't realize you were gone…unless, of course, you told us ahead of time.
Can you spell irony?
And everyone knows that nothing says "I'm leavin dis place fo relz," like making a thread begging for farewell responses, virtually assuring that you're not really leaving…but will be back to check them…over and over and over.
See you in ten minutes!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Got-Noplace-To-Be.
Because you know…hey, we all know…you're not really going anywhere.
Mr. Farewell Thread Guuyyyyyy!!!

A little wordy but still better than anything I could come up with.

Is there time to add this to the most funny thread category?

[Kyir]

A little wordy but still better than anything I could come up with.

Is there time to add this to the most funny thread category?

Signs point to no.

[Lex]

Today we salute you Mr. Guy Who Takes TAO Too Seriously.
Mr. Guy Who Takes TAO Too Seriously!!!
You've spent countless nights, with no more companionship thank a few redbulls, honing your skills.
I'm not lonely!
Nobody else seems to realize that this is not just a game, it's the big leagues.
Mama, look at me now!
You've battled your way up the food chain, from Scrabble to the #1 ranking on TAO.
I'm going to Disney Land!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Guy Who Takes TAO Too Seriously.
Because lord knows, you're going to need the buzz to deal with all of these amateurs.
Mr. Guy Who Takes TAO Too Seriously!!!

[KickAssPlaya]

I like this thread.!

Good idea :)

[The Butcher]

Bud light presents: Real American Heroes.

Today we salute you, Mr. TAO Forum Rep Booster.
Mr. TAO Forrrruummm Rep Booosster!!
You yearn to be accepted by your internet peers, and nothing measures popularity and acceptance, like small green rectangles.
I've become immortal!
Tirelessly you turn out alternate account after alternate account until you've created a army of reputation juggernaughts. With each passing rep, you rise closer and closer to the top.
Aiming Hiiiiiiggghhhhhh!
Never posting anything too controversial, you blend into the back round like a kung-fu chameleon. But one false move from any forum would-be do-gooder, and you won't hesitate to bring down your reputation retribution.
Here comes a neg bomb!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. TAO Forum Rep Booster,
Because cheating your way to the top of a popularity contest that wasn't being held, is just how you roll.
Mr. TAO Forrrruummm Rep Booosster!!

[bdog1321]

So there was a shoebot at like twelve this morning. I quoted your song of it but a mod still deleted it. I was pissed. Cool story huh?

[High Heat]

Today we salute you, Mr. Internet Meme Finder.
Mr. Internet Meme Finder!!!
You've just finished reading a half-page post that sounds like a doctoral dissertation on evolutionism vs. creationism and you're inspired to contribute to the discussion in a meaningful way.
How bout a giant lolwut pear? ( http://www.progarchives.com/forum/uploads/18240/lolwut.jpg)
Another forumer is distraught because his girlfriend won't take him back after he cheated, and you want to offer sage words of advice.
Yo dawg, I herd u was a douchebag… ( http://www.yodawgyo.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/yo-dawg-i-herd-u-wuz-a-douchebag.jpg)
Yet another poster needs help with a complex calculus assignment and you want to demonstrate your razor sharp intelligence.
Advice dog says use a calculator…to spell "boobies"! ( http://knowyourmeme.com/i/3972/original/calculator.png?1245806783)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Puts-The-Rofl-In-Roflcopter.
Because u can haz it with cheeseburger.
Mr. Internet Meme Finder!!!

[Mithrandir]

Anyone aspiring to win best thread at the next TAO awards, just give it up now. There is no possible way you can beat this.

[meat.eater]

How bout a giant lolwut pear? ( http://www.progarchives.com/forum/uploads/18240/lolwut.jpg)

Hahahaha. I love the links, HH.

[The Butcher]

Today we salute you, Mr. Internet Meme Finder.


You are good.

[Blexican]

They should institute this into English classes around the world as a universal form of poetry.

:cool:

[The Professor?]

Today we salute you Mr. Guy Who Takes TAO Too Seriously.
Mr. Guy Who Takes TAO Too Seriously!!!
You've spent countless nights, with no more companionship thank a few redbulls, honing your skills.
I'm not lonely!
Nobody else seems to realize that this is not just a game, it's the big leagues.
Mama, look at me now!
You've battled your way up the food chain, from Scrabble to the #1 ranking on TAO.
I'm going to Disney Land!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Guy Who Takes TAO Too Seriously.
Because lord knows, you're going to need the buzz to deal with all of these amateurs.
Mr. Guy Who Takes TAO Too Seriously!!!


Best one so far.

[Blexican]

Best one so far.

no.

[max2k106]

Today we salute you, Mr. Internet Meme Finder.
Mr. Internet Meme Finder!!!
You've just finished reading a half-page post that sounds like a doctoral dissertation on evolutionism vs. creationism and you're inspired to contribute to the discussion in a meaningful way.
How bout a giant lolwut pear? ( http://www.progarchives.com/forum/uploads/18240/lolwut.jpg)
Another forumer is distraught because his girlfriend won't take him back after he cheated, and you want to offer sage words of advice.
Yo dawg, I herd u was a douchebag… ( http://www.yodawgyo.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/yo-dawg-i-herd-u-wuz-a-douchebag.jpg)
Yet another poster needs help with a complex calculus assignment and you want to demonstrate your razor sharp intelligence.
Advice dog says use a calculator…to spell "boobies"! ( http://knowyourmeme.com/i/3972/original/calculator.png?1245806783)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Puts-The-Rofl-In-Roflcopter.
Because u can haz it with cheeseburger.
Mr. Internet Meme Finder!!!

http://spoongod.gazaxian.com/9901.OMFG!!!11!%20U+TEH+WINNAR!!!1!!.jpg

[Unforgottner]

no.

best post here.

[The Butcher]

best post here.

no.

[bdog1321]

Nah the automatic posting bot is my favorite so far.

[3000 stat]

Today we salute you Mr. I excessively complain about luck noob.
Mr. I excessively complain about luck noob.
No game of tao would be complete without your interesting and inciteful play by play comentary.
omg! wtf! ur scout blockz!
And we can always count on you to weed out the cheaters and scum of tao.
Another Block?! u must be a hax0r!
If all else fails you have a plathora of clever tricks up your sleeve that are sure to fool anyone.
F5 for a dragon!
So crack open an ice cold bud light Mr. I excessiveley complain about luck noob, because after all the tao injustice you've gone through you deserve it.
Mr. I excessively complain about luck noob!



Today we salute you Mr. Lobby whore flamer guy!
Mr. Lobby whore flamer guy
Your prowess in flaming is above no other, weather it be about stats, race, religion, mud wrestleting ability your flames have no limits.
omg u white catholic mud wrestletling noob!
Your life is so fulfulling and exciting because insulting noobs online is the only way to spend friday nights.
My life is awsome!
And your always ready with a witty and original comeback in any situation.
Atleast Im not gey!
So crack open an ice cold bud light Mr. Loby whore flamer guy, because your endless supply of yo moma insults needs to be inspired from something.
Mr. Loby whore flamer guy!

[The Butcher]

Wow 3000, that first one was really good.

Nicely done sir.

[Maverik07]

Godmic's first one actually had me laughing. The rest are all pretty good. Im impressed.

[Rubbish]

This thread is amazing, good job Butch.

[xEaglex]

Today we Salute you, Mr. Online All-knowing Sports Guru
Mr. Online All-Knowing Sports Guru
Futbol, basketball, baseball, golf, even cricket. You don't even need to watch sports. You have the statistics.
I heard it from the guy at the barbershop!
The excitement of bone-crunching tackles is no match for your number-crunching.
Where's my calculator?
Taking your son to his first baseball game can wait. You've got a fantasy team to draft.
Sorry, Daddy's busy!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Socrates of the Sporting World
Only you can find a reason to smile when Tom Brady breaks his legs. (Sorry Lex)
Mr. Online All-Knowing Sports Gurrruuuu

[Spirit_Monger]

Today we salute you, Mr. Post Count Plus One With a Gigantic Signature
Mr. Post Count Plus One With a Gigantic Signature
Religion, politics, abortion, butt secks... No topic is complete without your single phrase interjection.
That's what she said!
You have a signature the size of Texas with enough neon text to light up a third world country, but you don't care.
Sunglasses at night!
Who needs an edit button when you can just reply? To yourself.
lol!
*rotflol!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. 360000 Posts... plus one
Because for every new post, you have ten one-liners ready.
Mr. Post Count Plus One With a Gigantic Siiiiiignatuuuuure

Bud light presents: Real American Heroes.

Today we salute you, Mr. TAO Forum Rep Booster.
Mr. TAO Forrrruummm Rep Booosster!!
You yearn to be accepted by your internet peers, and nothing measures popularity and acceptance, like small green rectangles.
I've become immortal!
Tirelessly you turn out alternate account after alternate account until you've created a army of reputation juggernaughts. With each passing rep, you rise closer and closer to the top.
Aiming Hiiiiiiggghhhhhh!
Never posting anything too controversial, you blend into the back round like a kung-fu chameleon. But one false move from any forum would-be do-gooder, and you won't hesitate to bring down your reputation retribution.
Here comes a neg bomb!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. TAO Forum Rep Booster,
Because cheating your way to the top of a popularity contest that wasn't being held, is just how you roll.
Mr. TAO Forrrruummm Rep Booosster!!

Today we salute you, Mr. Internet Meme Finder.
Mr. Internet Meme Finder!!!
You've just finished reading a half-page post that sounds like a doctoral dissertation on evolutionism vs. creationism and you're inspired to contribute to the discussion in a meaningful way.
How bout a giant lolwut pear? ( http://www.progarchives.com/forum/uploads/18240/lolwut.jpg)
Another forumer is distraught because his girlfriend won't take him back after he cheated, and you want to offer sage words of advice.
Yo dawg, I herd u was a douchebag… ( http://www.yodawgyo.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/yo-dawg-i-herd-u-wuz-a-douchebag.jpg)
Yet another poster needs help with a complex calculus assignment and you want to demonstrate your razor sharp intelligence.
Advice dog says use a calculator…to spell "boobies"! ( http://knowyourmeme.com/i/3972/original/calculator.png?1245806783)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Puts-The-Rofl-In-Roflcopter.
Because u can haz it with cheeseburger.
Mr. Internet Meme Finder!!!

Today we Salute you, Mr. Online All-knowing Sports Guru
Mr. Online All-Knowing Sports Guru
Futbol, basketball, baseball, golf, even cricket. You don't even need to watch sports. You have the statistics.
I heard it from the guy at the barbershop!
The excitement of bone-crunching tackles is no match for your number-crunching.
Where's my calculator?
Taking your son to his first baseball game can wait. You've got a fantasy team to draft.
Sorry, Daddy's busy!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Socrates of the Sporting World
Only you can find a reason to smile when Tom Brady breaks his legs. (Sorry Lex)
Mr. Online All-Knowing Sports Gurrruuuu

These were my favorites. The images in HH's were clutch, especially the xzibit one.

[Mongolian]

Today we salut you, mister it was so obvious you made this thread cause your a sexist wanker.

[The Butcher]

Today we salut you, mister it was so obvious you made this thread cause your a sexist wanker.

you're*

.....

Bud Light presents: Real American Heroes.
Reeeaalll American Heerroooooess.

Today we salute you, Mr. Online Grammar Nazi Guy.
Mr. Online Grammar Nazzziii Guy!
You scour the forums night and day, analyzing each and every post with one single mission: exposing bad grammar and the perpetrators behind it.
Your going down!!
Misplaced punctuation, misspelled words, adjectives without a noun.. no mistake, whether small or large, will escape your hawk-like eyes.
Hawk eyes of justicis!!
Ever-vigilant, no well thought out content, proper context or timing will deter you from noticing that run-on sentence, or mis-used contraction.
That don't make no sense....
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh King of the Comma,
Because "I" before "e" isn't just an expression, it's a way of life.
Mr. Online Grammar Nazzziii Guy!

[xEaglex]

you're*

.....

Bud Light presents: Real American Heroes.
Reeeaalll American Heerroooooess.

Today we salute you, Mr. Online Grammar Nazi Guy.
Mr. Online Grammar Nazzziii Guy!
You scour the forums night and day, analyzing each and every post with one single mission: exposing bad grammar and the perpetrators behind it.
Your going down!!
Misplaced punctuation, misspelled words, adjectives without a noun.. no mistake, whether small or large, will escape your hawk-like eyes.
Hawk eyes of justicis!!
Ever-vigilant, no well thought out content, proper context or timing will deter you from noticing that run-on sentence, or mis-used contraction.
That don't make no sense....
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh King of the Comma,
Because "I" before "e" isn't just an expression, it's a way of life.
Mr. Online Grammar Nazzziii Guy!

Thats my favoritest =)

[mushroom_girl]

Today we salute you, Mr. I-Respond-to-Everything-with-an-LOLcat,
Mr. I-Respond-to-Everything-with-an-LOLcat
You're too good to just respond to a post with just words, you're too much of a man.
Me-owww
Hot dog vendors, old ladies, infants, they all melt at the sight of cute kittens using bad grammar.
CEELING KITTEH IZ WATCHING U LAFF!!!
Don't fret, you're right. Kittens on glass tables, hiding from puppies, on a monorail...Everyone thinks they're funny.
I am too for posting it!!!!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Cute Kitten King.
Because why just say something, when you can use a kitten?
Mr. I-Respond-to-Everything-with-an-LOLcat

[ExpectDeath]

Bud Light presents: Real American Heroes.
Reeeaalll American Heerroooooess.

Today we salute you, Mr. King of the Actual Pictures From Pictures Thread.
Mr. King of the Actual Pictures from Pictures Thread.
Armed with your new weapon of choice, a Pentax Optio M30, you flood pages with your gorgeous mug.
Hold on gotta fix my hair.
You got a new t-shirt? Show it off. New hair cut? Everybody will love it on the internet.
pfpc!
Whether it's a picture from your grandmother's 85th birthday party, or a quick snap shot of yourself in the bathroom mirror, you flaunt your hot bod.
Smile Gramma!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Egotistial Flash Game Nerd.
And continue to post your hairless chest all over the world of TAO.
Mr. King of the Actual Pictures from Pictures Thread

[Hugh Junit]

Today we salute you, Mr. badass, ghetto, gangsta E-Thug.
Mr. badass, ghetto, gangsta E-Thug!!
Hard hittin'? No doubt. Every camera phone picture of you camped in front of your keyboard is proof that you are indeed 100% hood.
U dont even know, Dawg!
Your 40 is two 20 oz. Rockstars. Your gat, your wireless mouse. If only they made one you could hold sideways.
Dat would be da bomb, yo.
They call you a "poser". They call you a "wannabe". Let the haters hate. You're street, from head to toe, and the toughest mofo to ever spend every second of every evening in an online gaming forum.
"Imma bust yo ass, fool!"
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh hooligan of hyperspace. Because if anyone comes talkin' the trash while you're prowling the web, you'll most certainly pull their card.
Mr. badass, ghetto, gangsta EEEE-Thuuuuug.

[Maverik07]

you're*

.....

Bud Light presents: Real American Heroes.
Reeeaalll American Heerroooooess.

Today we salute you, Mr. Online Grammar Nazi Guy.
Mr. Online Grammar Nazzziii Guy!
You scour the forums night and day, analyzing each and every post with one single mission: exposing bad grammar and the perpetrators behind it.
Your going down!!
Misplaced punctuation, misspelled words, adjectives without a noun.. no mistake, whether small or large, will escape your hawk-like eyes.
Hawk eyes of justicis!!
Ever-vigilant, no well thought out content, proper context or timing will deter you from noticing that run-on sentence, or mis-used contraction.
That don't make no sense....
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh King of the Comma,
Because "I" before "e" isn't just an expression, it's a way of life.
Mr. Online Grammar Nazzziii Guy!

:rolleyes:

Oh the irony.

[FreddyAdu23]

Wow this thread is really funny.

This better win funniest thread next year.

[The Butcher]

:rolleyes:

Oh the irony.

Umm.. all of the pink text is improper grammar.

That's the joke.

Nice one Mav. :good:

[FreddyAdu23]

This one was really funny to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdGj-FVxOcs&feature=channel

[Rubbish]

Nevermind.

[Serge]

Bud Light presents: Real American Heroes.
Reeeaalll American Heerroooooess.

Today we salute you, Mr. Quote the Large Post Right Before Your's Guy.
Mr. Quoooote the Large Post Guy-hi!
You don't really have much to say, and the post you're responding to is right above your's, but that won't stop you.
So good you gotta read it twyhiice!!
Long meaningless lists, a forty image Actual Pictures Thread album, Uniq's entire first post from the Mafia thread. Nothing is too long, or too right there for your quote prowess.
I looovvvve the quote i-talics!
You haven't the time or the know-how to only quote the part you're responding to, but everyone needs to know you lol'd.
Whaaaat the heck's advanced mode??
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Connoisseur of the Unneeded Quotation.
Because you'll need a drink for the hour it takes to scroll to the bottom of this 15 post page.
Mr. Quoooote the Long Post Guyyy!

This isn't too great, I know, but I picked a pretty weak topic.

[Spirit_Monger]

Today we salute you, Mr. badass, ghetto, gangsta E-Thug.
Mr. badass, ghetto, gangsta E-Thug!!
Hard hittin'? No doubt. Every camera phone picture of you camped in front of your keyboard is proof that you are indeed 100% hood.
U dont even know, Dawg!
Your 40 is two 20 oz. Rockstars. Your gat, your wireless mouse. If only they made one you could hold sideways.
Dat would be da bomb, yo.
They call you a "poser". They call you a "wannabe". Let the haters hate. You're street, from head to toe, and the toughest mofo to ever spend every second of every evening in an online gaming forum.
"Imma bust yo ass, fool!"
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh hooligan of hyperspace. Because if anyone comes talkin' the trash while you're prowling the web, you'll most certainly pull their card.
Mr. badass, ghetto, gangsta EEEE-Thuuuuug.

This one was pretty good.

Did anyone else think specifically of I Mafia I when they read this? ;)

[Hugh Junit]

Today we salute you, Mr. Create-A-Unit forum junkie.
Mr. Create-A-Unit forum junkie!!
Day after day, year after year, you tirelessly post inventive ideas that are met with constructive feedback like "/fail", "weaksawce" and "1/10".
Thx all for the comments!
Total number of posts: 1750. Total number of units posted: 1749. Total number of unit ideas ever considered or even noticed by TAO staff: 0.
My next one will be the roXorZ!
Odd units. God units. Zombie-robot dog units. There seems to be no limit to your imagination, or ability to beat your head against a brick wall.
A ranged, werewolf-wizard with wiiiings!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Dr. Frankenunit. Because it's not about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep coming back.
Mr. Create-A-Unit forum juuunkiee!

[Serge]

To be fair, Hugh. Seed stole the Berserker from me and the Furgon from abyaly.

[Hugh Junit]

To be fair, Hugh. Seed stole the Berserker from me and the Furgon from abyaly.

Come on, man. I'm workin' here!
Tough room...

[Kyir]

This one was pretty good.

Did anyone else think specifically of I Mafia I when they read this? ;)

Yup.

[Greed]

Bud Light Presents: Real American Heroes.
Reeeal Ameeerican Heeeroes.

Today we salute you, Mr. 850+ Stat Requirement Clan Leader.
Mr. 850+ Stat Requirement Clan Leader!
You've done so many chores around the house and have finally earned the necessary five dollars from your parents to buy a gold account.
You even handwashed your mother's panties!
Hours with your Gelly Roll in hand, just jotting down possible clan names until you finally create the best combination of action-packed adjectives and bad-ass nouns, even if it's repetitive... and too long.
The Evil Satanic Fire-Breathing Werewolves!
You finally get to instill that 850+ clan joining stat requirement that you yourself could never achieve.
It doesn't matter that you only have 739 stats and have no idea how to play gold!
So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Mr. I Can't Be Held to My Own Standards
Because let's face it, stats mean everything and 849 just isn't good enough.
Mr. 850+ Stat Requirement Clan Leader!

[meat.eater]

Who called it yesterday that when Hugh posts I will be laughing out loud? Who called it?

Man... that E-thug one was straight up pimpin', yo.

[The Butcher]

The create-a-unit one was good too.

I like Greeds a lot, doing in-game ones are HARD. I've been messing around with an idea since the thread started and can't get it right.

[High Heat]

Today we salute you, Mr. Inane Thread Maker Guy.
Mr. Inane Thread Maker Guuyyyy!!!
You wanna know things…important things…like how many freckles the average TAO'er is sporting. And you've got important stuff to talk about…like how you wrecked your car, how many flakes of fish food your guppy just ate, how big your wang is, and, uh, er, how you wrecked your car.
I just gotta know…Do you like fishsticks??? (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38443)
Rep? Schmep. Stats? Schmats. Clan ranking? Schmlan Schmlanking. Who's got 10+ pages of threads made, baaaaybeeee?
Jimmy Cracked Corn (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33400)...and you don't caaaare!
A good song just came on the radio? Some posters might go to the thread that already exists for that very purpose. Suckers. Not you, though. You don't roll that way. You make a brand new thread...
Stacy's Mom has got it going on!!! (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28522)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Senseless…
Wait a sec, screw the nicknames, we all know who we're talking about here…
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Punishment.
Because after ten or twelve of those bad boys, maybe you'll make a thread we want to post in.
Mr. Inane Thread Maker Guuyyyyyy!!!

[Dresicos]

Eh 4/10 + the Punishment flame = 7/10

[Faulty Logic]

The Black guy at the end is hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1oZz1FUma0&feature=fvw

[The Butcher]

Bud Light Presents: Real American Heroes.
Reeeaallll Ammerican Heroooooooes.

Today we salute you, Mr. Finds Something Negative About Every Post or Topic Guy.
Mr. FindsSomethingNegativeAboutEveryPostorTopicGuuuuuu yyyy!
Perhaps you had a bad childhood, or just have pent up anger issues, but it seems no post can please you properly.
Daaaaddddyyy used to beat me.
Whether it be a well thought-out non-biased opinion on economics, creative and helpful poll, or even adorable pictures of puppies, nothing is safe from your bitter internet intimidation.
FAIL!!!
Today's topic: The unfair treatment of mentally handicapped patients at such-and-such-Hospital caught on camera by administrators.
Retarded people are reettarrdddeeedd.
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Debbie Downer,
Because no matter how good the quality of the topic is, agreeing with people just isn't cool.
Mr. FindsSomethingNegativeAboutEveryPostorTopicGuuuuuy yyy!

[bdog1321]

Today, we salute you mister Too Obsessed with his Football Team Guy.
Mr. Too Obsessed with his Football Team Guy!
Whether your team goes 4-12 or 12-4, they're always the best ever.
Tony, sign my baby!
You can't explain what exactly makes your team so good, but you get your point across anyways.
ROMO IZ GOD!!1
You can't quite figure out why no one else thinks your team is as great as you do, but that doesn't matter because you know you're right.
they has hot cheerleaders too!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Superfan, because you'll need it when your team is losing 44-6 in the win-and-in game. There's always Madden....
Mr. Too Obsessed with his Football Team Guy!

It's good to laugh at yourself.

[The Butcher]

I lol'd.

[bdog1321]

Thanks, I wanted to make it before someone else did. lol.OK I DID NOT REALLY LOL HERE. BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o01at8h5tU&feature=related

That one got me good. Apparently it never aired though, from the description.

[meat.eater]

I love the "Taco Salad Inventor" one.

"A culinary creation that baffles the human minds. A 12,000 calorie salad. Some may ask: is your taco salad healthy? Of course it is. It's a Salad.
You can EEEEAT that deep fired country bowl!"

Had me dying of laughter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZvOqYVs2ao

EDIT: HAHAHA. "Mr. Pro Wrestling Costume Designer" was awesome too. "I'm going to rip your head off, and look fabulous doing it."

[Hugh Junit]

today we salute you, mr. Inane thread maker guy.
mr. Inane thread maker guuyyyy!!!
you wanna know things…important things…like how many freckles the average tao'er is sporting. And you've got important stuff to talk about…like how you wrecked your car, how many flakes of fish food your guppy just ate, how big your wang is, and, uh, er, how you wrecked your car.
i just gotta know…do you like fishsticks??? (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38443)
rep? Schmep. Stats? Schmats. Clan ranking? Schmlan schmlanking. Who's got 10+ pages of threads made, baaaaybeeee?
jimmy cracked corn (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33400)...and you don't caaaare!
a good song just came on the radio? Some posters might go to the thread that already exists for that very purpose. Suckers. Not you, though. You don't roll that way. You make a brand new thread...
stacy's mom has got it going on!!! (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28522)
so crack open an ice cold bud light, mr. Senseless…
wait a sec, screw the nicknames, we all know who we're talking about here…
so crack open an ice cold bud light, punishment.
Because after ten or twelve of those bad boys, maybe you'll make a thread we want to post in.
mr. Inane thread maker guuyyyyyy!!!

served!!

[FreddyAdu23]

Someone write one about the fat guy on an airplane that takes up to seats (you get the idea).

[Hugh Junit]

Someone write one about the fat guy on an airplane that takes up to seats (you get the idea).

Go for it, Freddy. You got this one. It's all you.
Concentrate and dominate. Be the ball.
No pressure.

[3000 stat]

Today we salute you Mr. Oblivious to his own overwhelming obesity guy!
Mr. Oblivious to his own overwhelming obesity guy!
You stomp your way on to the airplane and throw your grotesque body into your row, crushing an old lady and new born baby as you land.
They should have seen you coming!
You flop your thunderous thighs up as your legs ram the seats in front of you. You spread your body to take up the aisle, middle and window seat.
Effective Duel-Purpose Seating!
When you get up, you wipe of the dentures from your ass as your stomach ingulfs an airline attendant.
Stomach like a human sponge!
So crack open a bud light Mr. Sumo of the sky because you need something to wash down those 15 big macs you broght with you.
Mr. Oblivious to his own overwhelming obesity guy!
I couldn't resist, feel free to do your own and one-uping me.

[The Butcher]

Mr Sumo of the Sky saved it fo sho.

I'm thinking of taking all the ones from here, quoting them, and moving them to a polling thread so we can vote on the best one. Winner would get a dumb prize of some sort.

Any thoughts?

[Punishment]

Today we salute you, Mr. Inane Thread Maker Guy.
Mr. Inane Thread Maker Guuyyyy!!!
You wanna know things…important things…like how many freckles the average TAO'er is sporting. And you've got important stuff to talk about…like how you wrecked your car, how many flakes of fish food your guppy just ate, how big your wang is, and, uh, er, how you wrecked your car.
I just gotta know…Do you like fishsticks??? (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38443)
Rep? Schmep. Stats? Schmats. Clan ranking? Schmlan Schmlanking. Who's got 10+ pages of threads made, baaaaybeeee?
Jimmy Cracked Corn (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33400)...and you don't caaaare!
A good song just came on the radio? Some posters might go to the thread that already exists for that very purpose. Suckers. Not you, though. You don't roll that way. You make a brand new thread...
Stacy's Mom has got it going on!!! (http://www.tacticsarena.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28522)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Senseless…
Wait a sec, screw the nicknames, we all know who we're talking about here…
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Punishment.
Because after ten or twelve of those bad boys, maybe you'll make a thread we want to post in.
Mr. Inane Thread Maker Guuyyyyyy!!!

Hey, mafia is the one who wrecked his car, not me.

:p

[Sinyra]

inspired by a little guy on Banf

We salute you Mr.IWannaBeInYourClanBegger
Mr.IWannaBeInYourClanBeeeeggeeer
Be it a Mod's, girl's or the newest noob's clan, you wanna be in it.
Pick me i'm annoying
You could make your own clan, but you wanna feel liked, so you'll just whine until someone loves you.
my daddy haaattess me.
No matter how many times you're turned away, you just try, try again.
no doesn't meeaann no.
So keep on asking, Mr.IWannaBeInYourClanBegger, because next time, i'm sure they'll say yes.
Mr.IWannaBeInYourClanBeeeeggeeer

[The Butcher]

I'm a little rusty.. but:


Bud Light Presents: Real American Heroes.
Reeaaall Ammerican Herooooooes!

Today we salute you, Mr. Grey Jumping with a Gold Account Guy.
MrGreyJumpingWithAGooooooldAccountGuy!

Twice as fun as stealing candy from a baby, you bully your way through noob after noob, impressing and awing them with your uber-cool monsters.
Press F5 for a dragon!

So what if your alpha turtle set is almost impossible to beat with a grey default set? You paid your $5.. someone's gettin pwned.
I'ma gonna frost whore you!

Steadfast and strong, you ignore game request after game request from the other golds in the lobby. Why? Because that 750 clan less grey on floor 5 has first dibs on your epic smack down.
My self esteem is in the toilettttt.

So crack open a ice cold Bud Light, Guru of the Grey Jump,
Because the best way to teach a new player how to play, is to pulverize them into dust without mercy.
MrGreyJumpingWithAGooooooldAccountGuy!

[Godmic18]

This goes out to some good friends of mine. You know who you are.

Bud Light Presents: Real American Heroes.
Reeaaall Ammerican Herooooooes!

Today we salute you, Mr. Halo Fanatic Boasting on the Wrong Forums Guy.
MrHaloFanaticBoastingOnTheWrongForuuuuumsGuuuuy!

With more bullet wounds than 50 Cent, you teabag your way to victory and make sure everyone knows you're the Boss.
Mr. T. Bag pities the foooooool!

So what if you happen to be on a set of music forums or even forums for another game! You're the Muhammed Ali of Halo and you're going to sting the world.
Watch my sweet videeeo!

Fearless and heartless, you shamelessly post every kill you make. Why? Because you're waiting for matchmaking and have nothing else to do.
That niiiiine-year-old got PWNT!

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Lord of the Ring,
Because if you're not flaunting your epic kills, someone else will.
MrHaloFanaticBoastingOnTheWrongForuuuuumsGuuuuy!

[The Butcher]

:worthy:

I cannot stress this enough.

[Worker]

I luv you Godmic18

[Dresicos]

I have told you this before Godmic, too much win in any certain post is a bannable offence.

So epic.

[3000 stat]

*Bump*
Today we salute you Mr. I neg everyone on the forums because my life sucks guy
Mr. I neg everyone look at my giant e-pen0r guy!
You amaze everyone with your brilliant and original insults,
"Fail!!!"..."ur Stupid!!11"
You take great pride in your glourious tao rep status
Don't Mess with me I'm Immortal!
Your the king of negging and noone can slow you down
Rickrolling is so last year!
So crack open a bud light Mr. Neg Master and come up with a real insult because you can't pull "fails" out of your ass forever.

Not Top Quality But this thread really needed a bump.

[The Butcher]

Bud Light presents: Real Men of Genius.
Real Men of Gennniiiusss!!

Today we salute you, Mr. Tries Too Hard to Make an Epic 10,000th Post Guy.
Mr. Triestoohardtomakeanepic10,000thpostggguuuuuyyyyy!

Year after year you've stalked and spammed the many threads of the TAO forums, ever vigilante in your quest for the legendary 10,000th post.
Quantity > Quuaaallity!

1000 posts? 5000? >9000? Ha! Mere child's play compared to the monumental moment occurring before our very eyes.
Spamming in the mod lounge FTW!

Whether it be a necessary post, an unnecessary post, or the life or death crucially timed meme, your rampage of possibly pointless posting has reached a vital apex.
pc+1.

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh sultan of spam,
Because the Socially Awkward Penguin (http://memegenerator.net/Instances/440/Socially-Awkward-Penguin-SPEND-15-MINUTES-ON-A-FUNNY-10000TH-POST-NO-ONE-LAUGHS.jpg) isn't going to be posting his own picture, anytime soon.

Mr. Triestoohardtomakeanepic10,000thpostggguuuuuyyyyy!

[ScytheMan]

45 minutes? No way.

[Wizzy`]

lol'd at the penguin

[meat.eater]

You DO spam too much in the mod lounge.

Dick.

[Worker]

Well done Butcher.

[KickAssPlaya]

This thread is win.

[ExpectDeath]

oh lawd this thread was greatness.