My Girlfriend [Archive] - Tactics Arena Community Forums

Ächilles

10-13-2009, 02:12 PM

I'm not judging. Everyone is different.

I have only been dating the mistress (for anyone wondering why I keep using this term, it's an inside joke) since July. While it's been a relatively short amount of time, we've done more in those three months together than most couples do in years. Such sentiments will be doubled by year's end.

I've had some experiences with her only she can understand, and that have formed a type of kinship I've never held with anyone else. I'm beginning to think I love her, and expressing such feelings to her is something I go over in my head quite a bit.

But I take such emotions very seriously. It's not something I would say to her unless I was positive I meant it, and would uphold it. I believe that most people too quickly tell others they 'love' them. Truth be told, I think the word 'love' has largely lost it's inherent definition because it's so saturated our culture.

meat.eater

10-13-2009, 02:17 PM

The Butcher

10-13-2009, 02:21 PM

the mistress (for anyone wondering why I keep using this term, it's an inside joke)

We all assumed it had to do with leather clothes and those big paddle things.

bdog1321

10-13-2009, 02:27 PM

Lol. I told one I loved her after two weeks. I thought I did. I didn't. I'm still only 16 though.

Toledo 13

10-13-2009, 02:31 PM

Nothing, absolutely nothing can make you happier than finding someone whom you truly care about more than anything else in the world. I've been with my girlfriend for over a year, and I realize that may not seem like a very long time, but when I am with her I can't imagine being any happier. She is the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thought in my mind before I fall asleep at night. She is my best friend. Even though we now live three and half hours apart, and everyone believes that long distance relationships are impossible, we are making it work. If you truly find someone you love, don't let them get away, because it is the most phenomenal feeling in the world.

2xfire

10-13-2009, 02:31 PM

People confuse loveing somone with being IN love with them. Two totally different things...

Ächilles

10-13-2009, 02:32 PM

I don't know how long it was before I told Shannon I loved her. It was a long time. I think over 8 months. I agree that a lot of people jump right into it: my roommate was dating his girlfriend for less than 2 months (in different cities) when he told her he loved her.

See, I have to disagree with that. I don't mean to tread upon anyone's emotions, but I don't believe falling in love can happen in only a couple of months (and I absolutely refute the concept of 'love at first site). I actually don't believe falling in love can even happen in a small amount of years.

In my opinion, love isn't something that occurs via the means of two people being inherently perfect for one another, or via means such as predestined romantic unisons that were meant to be. I don't think that falling in love is an initiative, but rather a result.

My honest opinion is that if you've been dating a few months, have gone on some dates, and are generally very happy with one another - you're not truly in love. Love, as I see it, is a byproduct of shared experience. After you've both mutually shared life experiences with one another; experiences that are more than just dinner and a movie, then love will grow naturally if it's in the cards and you're both willing to accept, embrace, and nurture such feelings.

I've done a lot with Jenn. We've been all over the world with each other, written a lot together, and explored and adventured the locale with any small amount of free time we've had. I've certainly grown closer to her from these shared experiences, and born of said adventures is something I may one day believe surely and rightly enough to be love that I'd express it to her.

But not until those feelings are clear in totality to me will I open them up to her.

The Butcher

10-13-2009, 02:32 PM

People confuse loveing somone with being IN love with them. Two totally different things...

stfu

DOCTOR DEVICE

10-13-2009, 02:36 PM

People confuse loveing somone with being IN love with them. Two totally different things...

i didn't tag you as a brooding misanthrope.

come on, what happened to the 2x that played tao but was still so eager to tell us he was a huge player? he wouldn't say this garbage!

RAHAN

10-13-2009, 02:39 PM

I love my girlfriend too. :)

BTW... this isn't a joke...

Is your girlfriend a computer?:p

DOCTOR DEVICE

10-13-2009, 02:47 PM

Is your girlfriend a computer?:p

http://iteslj.org/Techniques/Chiasson-Humour.html

2xfire

10-13-2009, 02:56 PM

i didn't tag you as a brooding misanthrope.

come on, what happened to the 2x that played tao but was still so eager to tell us he was a huge player? he wouldn't say this garbage!

I stand by my comment. I had a gf in highschool for 3 years and did love her very much but I was never accually "IN" love with her. I didn't want to spend the rest of my like with her or have mutual feelings as she had.

You see I find myself falling into relationships since her and the girl(s) tells me that they loves me typically in the first month... It's utter bullshit, all it does is make me turn the other direction because I refuse to say those words to any women that I dont accually "love".

But being "in" love with a women, and loveing a women are completly different...

The Professor?

10-13-2009, 04:26 PM

I told mine after about 5 months.

We've been together for almost 2 years now.

And secretly, she plays TAO and she is the one that really kicks ass for me :p

Veilmenacex

10-13-2009, 04:29 PM

I told mine after about 5 months.

We've been together for almost 2 years now.

And secretly, she plays TAO and she is the one that really kicks ass for me :p

I got beat by a girl :shocked:

mantis33

10-13-2009, 05:01 PM

Does she want... some dick mode on?
Dick mode is on a lot. :p
Is your girlfriend a computer?:p

Yeah, why?

Toledo 13

10-13-2009, 05:23 PM

See, I have to disagree with that. I don't mean to tread upon anyone's emotions, but I don't believe falling in love can happen in only a couple of months (and I absolutely refute the concept of 'love at first site). I actually don't believe falling in love can even happen in a small amount of years.

In my opinion, love isn't something that occurs via the means of two people being inherently perfect for one another, or via means such as predestined romantic unisons that were meant to be. I don't think that falling in love is an initiative, but rather a result.

My honest opinion is that if you've been dating a few months, have gone on some dates, and are generally very happy with one another - you're not truly in love. Love, as I see it, is a byproduct of shared experience. After you've both mutually shared life experiences with one another; experiences that are more than just dinner and a movie, then love will grow naturally if it's in the cards and you're both willing to accept, embrace, and nurture such feelings.

I've done a lot with Jenn. We've been all over the world with each other, written a lot together, and explored and adventured the locale with any small amount of free time we've had. I've certainly grown closer to her from these shared experiences, and born of said adventures is something I may one day believe surely and rightly enough to be love that I'd express it to her.

But not until those feelings are clear in totality to me will I open them up to her.

I refuse to believe that there is a cookie-cutter pattern to falling in love. According to you, Time + Shared Experiences may or may not equal Love, depending on whether or not it is in 'in the cards'. That is wonderful if that is how you found (or are in the process of finding) the person you love most in life. But to say that this must be how everyone finds that person is absurd. Love is a crazy thing and people are very skeptical to say they love someone (with good reason) because of such high amounts of failed marriages as well as the amount of people that believe that they have fallen in love and truly haven't. While such failures are present virtually everywhere, that does not mean that you can not fall in love with someone in a relatively short amount of time. There are no rules or limits to love, as much as people would love there to be. No one truly understands it because it has no real definition of what it is or how it blossoms. It just does, and when it happens, you will know it.

Ächilles

10-13-2009, 08:59 PM

We'll have to agree to disagree then, Toledo.

I agree with you in that I believe there is no cookie cutter pattern or set, regimented path through which two people fall in love. All people are different and emotions are very specific to the individual and reactions to the infinite amount of potential experiences are inexplicably variable. However, I still don't believe that truly falling in love is something that can happen in a short amount of time.

As I said, I find it to be an unintended result of shared mutual life experience. And when I say experience, I mean real, tangible experiences that deeply affect views and perceptions, emotions and the nature of our reservations. I don't count a couple who goes to dinner and movies, and parties together on weekends as one who has experienced anything exponential in regard to the scope of life. This is actually my take on the wide-spread failure of marriages; that the lack of shared major experiences accounts for the weak bonds.

But this is all highly subjective and conceptual. Like I said, I agree to disagree. Though I don't expect either of us to change the other's opinion, I'd still love to hear your take on it no less.

meat.eater

10-13-2009, 09:00 PM

Though, I don't expect either of us to change the other's opinion, I'd still love to hear your take on it no less.

Ohhhh. So you can fall in love with toledo's opinions that fast, huh?

Ideological whore.

Ächilles

10-13-2009, 09:03 PM

Ah, touché mon copain!

The Cheat

10-13-2009, 09:03 PM

So the question is:

What is love?

DOCTOR DEVICE

10-13-2009, 09:04 PM

Ah, touché mon copain!

you would add the accent.

diacritic whore.

Ächilles

10-13-2009, 09:06 PM

Moi? Tu détestes moi parle français? Ah bon? Porquoi?

Toledo 13

10-13-2009, 09:11 PM

I absolutely understand where you are coming from and your perception on love is far more admirable and logical than the vast majority of the world's, but the idea that you must go through life changing experiences together to fall in love is a bit abstract. I don't believe that love can be contained to only forming between life impacting experiences shared between two people. This can be a major factor in the wacky process but love can sprout in so many different ways. You say that taking someone out to dinner is no way to fall in love and I must disagree. You imagine a couple going to dinner a few times a week just sharing idol chit chat and then on the weekends going to parties and after a while of caring about each other, deciding they are in love. Just because this happens all the time does not mean that it is impossible to take someone out to dinner on a regular basis and fall in love. Who's to say you are not sharing life altering experiences together at dinner? I see your point Achilles and it seems like you're saying that since most people find false love by not being together for more than a couple years, that it must be impossible. But I can assure you that it is very possible. Sometimes that life changing experience is nothing more than being with someone special and knowing that you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

DOCTOR DEVICE

10-13-2009, 09:14 PM

hey! you don't see me flaunting my hebrew, חמור ספרדי!

Ächilles

10-13-2009, 09:18 PM

Ohh non non! Mon français est trés mal, DD.

Hebrew? Trés bien, DD!

Punishment

10-13-2009, 09:40 PM

If i made this thread everyone would say i didn't have a girlfriend and call it spam.

The Cheat

10-13-2009, 09:41 PM

If i made this thread everyone would say i didn't have a girlfriend and call it spam.

Your point?

ScytheMan

10-13-2009, 09:44 PM

If i made this thread everyone would say i didn't have a girlfriend and call it spam.

It is spam.

There is a double standard.

Hugh Junit

10-13-2009, 10:15 PM

What is love?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gz2cUX0CNA8

Toledo 13

10-13-2009, 10:18 PM

So the question is:

What is love?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gz2cUX0CNA8

What is love you ask? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvJO6W7MFMI)

The Cheat

10-13-2009, 10:20 PM

Nice try Hugh...

But I was thinking of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCXZczTQXo

Hugh Junit

10-13-2009, 10:26 PM

Nice try Hugh...

But I was thinking of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCXZczTQXo

Yeah, I thought that would be too obvious.
But now that we know what love is, the question is....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eu3WIXuzmo

The Cheat

10-13-2009, 10:32 PM

Answer to that is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=788H0K5KrYI

mushroom_girl

10-13-2009, 10:35 PM

My boyfriend told me he loved me four months into dating... I don't believe that there is a set time limit to know you love someone. I fell for him really fast.

First day we met, we only talked for a couple minutes but we both knew we wanted to see each other again. That weekend we spent 48 hours straight together, part of the time at a sleepover at a mutual friend's house. He even came over to my house and my parents asked if I had started dating him for a while and kept it a secret. We aren't sure when our actual anniversary is because we aren't sure when we were really "official." We just were together from that first day without using a word for it....we use a date that we picked out of a hat.

But I'm digressing, I could go on forever....I believe in an instant connection because of him, not necessarily "love at first sight," but there was something. Two years later, I can still say that I love him every single day and I don't doubt my feelings for a moment, and I know he feels the same.

The Cheat

10-13-2009, 10:38 PM

Don't buy it liz.

Instant connection/love at first sight...don't believe in it.

mushroom_girl

10-13-2009, 10:39 PM

People fall in love in different ways. That's just the way it happened to me.

Toledo 13

10-13-2009, 10:40 PM

Don't buy it liz.

Instant connection/love at first sight...don't believe in it.

Regardless of whether or not you believe it, she is still in love with someone, your thoughts don't change that.

The Cheat

10-13-2009, 10:41 PM

Ya...this whole idea of love...

I don't buy it for the most part.

Punishment

10-13-2009, 11:05 PM

Didn't Liz have a TAO mod confess his love for her after a few months of non-dating?

Sinyra

10-13-2009, 11:36 PM

See, I have to disagree with that. I don't mean to tread upon anyone's emotions, but I don't believe falling in love can happen in only a couple of months (and I absolutely refute the concept of 'love at first site). I actually don't believe falling in love can even happen in a small amount of years.

In my opinion, love isn't something that occurs via the means of two people being inherently perfect for one another, or via means such as predestined romantic unisons that were meant to be. I don't think that falling in love is an initiative, but rather a result.

My honest opinion is that if you've been dating a few months, have gone on some dates, and are generally very happy with one another - you're not truly in love. Love, as I see it, is a byproduct of shared experience. After you've both mutually shared life experiences with one another; experiences that are more than just dinner and a movie, then love will grow naturally if it's in the cards and you're both willing to accept, embrace, and nurture such feelings.

I've done a lot with Jenn. We've been all over the world with each other, written a lot together, and explored and adventured the locale with any small amount of free time we've had. I've certainly grown closer to her from these shared experiences, and born of said adventures is something I may one day believe surely and rightly enough to be love that I'd express it to her.

But not until those feelings are clear in totality to me will I open them up to her.

In this post you made an assumption that in dating for 8 months meat and my only shared experiences were going to the movies and on dates; that nothing serious ever happened. of course you're not really aiming this at him but since your post started with "see, i have to disagree" and he was talking about personal experience, that is how i read it.

i disagree about the quality of a relationship based on time but i will not go into details as it is my personal life. however i am surprised that you totally disregard the possibility of different types of love for different people simply because for you it is this one thing.

i do agree that time is needed to strengthen a bond and deepen love but i also see different types of love as possibilities, and that different does not mean better or worse. so a first love, while not as strong as an enduring life long love, is just as important and real; when you feel it is what's important, not how much or how long it takes.

Nice try Hugh...

But I was thinking of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCXZczTQXo

totally the song that i thought of too.

DOCTOR DEVICE

10-13-2009, 11:39 PM

Don't buy it liz.

Instant connection/love at first sight...don't believe in it.

so, whereas she has actual evidence/anecdotes, you decide to go on blind cynicism alone?

this is where you always lose me, cheat.

Blexican

10-13-2009, 11:49 PM

So the question is:

What is love?

baby dont hurt me...

Dresicos

10-13-2009, 11:54 PM

My boyfriend told me he loved me four months into dating... blah blah blah

I completly agree. I had talked to my fiancee EVERYDAY for 2 years before we started dating. The day we started dating she told me she loved me and well I didn't know if I could say it back. After about a month of us being with each other at pretty much all possible times I told her it also. I love her to death and can't believe I didn't say it sooner.

At least you didn't meet your boyfriend like how I meant my fiancee. Met her while I was staying at my x's (who we will call CB for the time being), house. CB invited my fiancee over so that we could all go to the mall to hang out. When we got there and CB totally ditched me to go talk to some other guy. My fiancee and I walked around for about 2 hours before CB came back. Broke up with her that day and since that day I have talked to my fiancee everyday.

I read all that, just so you know. I just wanted to make the quote smaller.

Oh and btw CB stands for complete bitch.

mantis33

10-14-2009, 04:45 AM

hey! you don't see me flaunting my hebrew, חמור ספרדי!

DD, my girlfriend is Jewish too. I'm still learning about the culture. It's kind of interesting.

Take a Look

10-14-2009, 05:48 AM

This thread is a joke

You feel love, you don't talk about it, you show it, you don't tell it.

Amor has spoken

/Closed

The Cheat

10-14-2009, 06:52 AM

so, whereas she has actual evidence/anecdotes, you decide to go on blind cynicism alone?

this is where you always lose me, cheat.

DD...sometimes you read too deeply into shit. That happends when you have your head in your all.

I don't believe that two people can forge a bond that quickly. Some people (like liz) believe you can do this, I do not. I feel it takes time.

That so hard to understand?
baby dont hurt me...

No more.

Take a Look

10-14-2009, 07:33 AM

I hate you

Toledo 13

10-14-2009, 07:47 AM

Ya...this whole idea of love...

I don't buy it for the most part.

I don't believe that two people can forge a bond that quickly. Some people (like liz) believe you can do this, I do not. I feel it takes time. That so hard to understand?

You don't buy the idea of love, yet you do however feel that forging a bond that truly consists of love takes time. I find your chain of logic confusing.

The Cheat

10-14-2009, 09:55 AM

You don't buy the idea of love, yet you do however feel that forging a bond that truly consists of love takes time. I find your chain of logic confusing.

A bond and love in my eyes are two different things.

My best friends and I have a bond. We have known each other for over 16 years. I call that a bond. Do I love him? No. But we do have a bond and will be connected to one another.

I knew I shouldn't have posted my views in this thread. My mistake.
I hate you

Join the crowd.

They have t-shirts.

007 GOD

10-14-2009, 10:35 AM

I think you're supposed to tell her that, not us.... :)

When's the last time you told her you loved her? I told your girlfriend i loved her yesterday.

Sinyra

10-14-2009, 12:12 PM

this morning.

incubus112984

10-14-2009, 12:24 PM

stfu

you.

People confuse loveing somone with being IN love with them. Two totally different things...

This is very true. My ex fiance always told me she loved me. But after the break up, here is what she said, "I don't love you as much as I did before" Meaning, she just loved me, she wasn't IN Love with me. I would have done anything to keep her, protect her, and make sure she was happy. But she didn't want it.

Problem with today's society. People "love" everyone get married and divorce at a very young age. It's not unusual to find a person in their young 20's already divorced. USA FTL.

IROK, what about you and Linz, were you two not "IN Love" before you left to go see her? I find it easier to fall In love with someone without meeting them or seeing them due to the fact that:

a) You can not accuse them of cheating or anything
b) Judge them on looks etc...
c) Personality is what really matters, so therefore your focusing on their personality.

-Sno

Sinyra

10-14-2009, 12:28 PM

the whole thing about getting married young being what leads to divorce doesn't really hold water because people on average are married older now then they were 30 years ago or even 50 years ago.

however the divorce rate is higher. I think it's because people go in to marriage seeing divorce as an option so they don't truly evaluate it as seriously

incubus112984

10-14-2009, 12:31 PM

What I was trying to say, "People "FALL IN LOVE" much younger than before" Therefore leading to marriage causing young divorces.

-Sno

Terps rock

10-14-2009, 12:32 PM

I knew I shouldn't have posted my views in this thread. My mistake.

Aww, poor baby... No one understands you.

Sinyra

10-14-2009, 12:33 PM

ah. hmmm... still not sure if i buy that since one would hope people fell in love back in the day when it was customary to marry around 18...

but i will agree that i feel that people who get married young now a days have a higher divorce rate. at least everyone i know from hs who married right after is divorced.

The Cheat

10-14-2009, 12:33 PM

Aww, poor baby... No one understands you.

Fuck off.

Everyone makes mistakes.

I'm sick of you hounding me so much. Bother someone else for awhile.

incubus112984

10-14-2009, 12:36 PM

The Cheat- Screw them, opinions are opinions. Just like they have an opinion that you suck. All they want is to feel like they fit in. If there was a real TAO meeting. I guarantee half of them wouldn't talk shit to me to my face, and the other half that do wouldn't after I was done /cocky. But serious, i've looked at a lot of their pictures. They are just kids with no life.

-Sno

Sinyra

10-14-2009, 12:37 PM

dude, this is the love thread. if it ain't about love, it don't belong here. nope nope.

The Cheat

10-14-2009, 12:39 PM

Here is an idea about love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YO9FpWX57E

Toledo 13

10-14-2009, 01:00 PM

A bond and love in my eyes are two different things.

My best friends and I have a bond. We have known each other for over 16 years. I call that a bond. Do I love him? No. But we do have a bond and will be connected to one another.
I don't believe that two people can forge a bond that quickly. Some people (like liz) believe you can do this, I do not. I feel it takes time. That so hard to understand?

So you just jumped from our conversation of how love is found and began talking about bonds in general between friends expecting everyone to know that your use of the word bond no longer meant a bond between two people who love each other? :rolleyes:

Fuck off.

Everyone makes mistakes.

I'm sick of you hounding me so much. Bother someone else for a while.
I'll just mock people all night and swear at them.

Or do nothing but turn on the camera and half it face the floor.

Anything to annoy.

I have nothing against you cheat, but maybe if you acted a little more kindly to others instead of always trying to seem witty, then others wouldn't have such a negative disposition towards you.

The Cheat

10-14-2009, 01:40 PM

I have nothing against you cheat, but maybe if you acted a little more kindly to others instead of always trying to seem witty, then others wouldn't have such a negative disposition towards you.

I have not once claimed to be witty, nor was I trying to be witty.

When people talk about love and what not I tend to think:

1. Who cares?
2. Bull shit.
3. What is love really?

I spent nearly a year reading about love in my English classes and I am sick of it and the whole concept of it.

Toledo 13

10-14-2009, 01:44 PM

I have not once claimed to be witty, nor was I trying to be witty.

I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. Feel free to replace witty with annoying.

The Cheat

10-14-2009, 02:27 PM

Well that is different then.

I am annoying.

Ächilles

10-15-2009, 01:30 PM

Toledo, sinyra -

I'll reply to your posts either this evening or tomorrow. I work full time, and my college courses are at night after work in the middle of the week, so I've not had time. Wasn't the opportune time to start a discussion on my behalf; but no less, I'll make sure to address what you each said.

mushroom_girl

10-15-2009, 02:33 PM

I don't believe that two people can forge a bond that quickly. Some people (like liz) believe you can do this, I do not. I feel it takes time.
There's no right or wrong answer for "how to fall in love." It's different for each person and each relationship.

I don't just believe people can form a bond that quickly, I KNOW people can. It just doesn't mean everyone does.

Even in friendship. One of my best friends (who, sadly, passed away earlier this year) and I met on our first day of high school. We hung out that day after school, and stayed close even after I moved. It was a unique friendship that is rare to find.

this morning.
This made me "Awwww!" :)

The Cheat

10-15-2009, 02:36 PM

That is all I was trying to say Liz.

Different people have different ideas.

mushroom_girl

10-15-2009, 02:39 PM

Actually, if we were saying the same thing I'd be saying "No, you can only fall in love if it's instant. There's no such thing as taking a long time to form a bond."

But I'm not saying that at all.

The Cheat

10-15-2009, 02:40 PM

I think perhaps I should just leave the thread and never come back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YO9FpWX57E

Anarchy_United

10-15-2009, 02:54 PM

http://www.shalomauslander.com/docs/HateCamel.pdf

The Cheat

10-15-2009, 03:08 PM

Epic

KickAssPlaya

10-15-2009, 07:54 PM

I have not once claimed to be witty, nor was I trying to be witty.

When people talk about love and what not I tend to think:

1. Who cares?
2. Bull shit.
3. What is love really?

I spent nearly a year reading about love in my English classes and I am sick of it and the whole concept of it.

A. We know you aren't witty.
B. GTFO out of a love thread if it annoys you when people talk about love. Common sense should tell you that..

The Cheat

10-15-2009, 10:29 PM

Ummm...KAP didn't I just say I was leaving it? I had no desire to post here again until I saw your attack on me.

You really like hounding me don't ya?

Read that link AU posted. It is amazing.

Final question: Prove to me love exists.

Dresicos

10-15-2009, 10:46 PM

Final question: Prove to me love exists.

If only that was a question, twit.
Prove it doesn't.

Just because no one wants to come near you doesn't mean that love doesn't exist. During middle school I thought the same thing because I had only had one girlfriend up to that date and she absolutly crushed me when we broke up. I never thought about love then but I did 'date' her for about 3 years.

I believe you live in a dorm at a college. You have tons of beautiful women around and your on here telling people how love doesn't exist and what not. Dude, go find a women and trust me your tone will change.