The Suspense is killing me!!!

[Duffman]

Ok for as long as i can remember Hugh Junit has been reaching for that beer. Ok i admit he is reaching slowly but this is ridiculous. How long does it take to reach a beer? Is he reaching all the way to the brewery?

I want to know what happens when he finally gets there. Is there a pot of gold at the end?

At the moment it's like a drawn out soap opera.

PLEASE HUGH... I NEED THE NEXT EPISODE. I'M HOOKED!

[Hugh Junit]

* slowly reaches for beer *


:cool:

[Duffman]

AHHHHHHHHHH

*melts*

[Hugh Junit]

Duffman is becoming one of the funniest posters on TAO. Keep it up Duff....* tosses Dufff a beer*

[Duffman]

haha dude thanks for the beer. *puts it in his belt* Now i don't want to see you reaching for that.

Can i be the Official TAO becomming one of the funniest posters :) I don't have an official yet. I feel empty :P

[Cephas]

Is it possible that Hugh is slowly reaching for a new beer each time? Problem is, his posts aren't nearly as drunken as Resc... hm...

[Snarr]

Drunken posts own, we should have a thead dedicated to genuine drunken posts.

[thrdflrmshr]

No, because people would pretend to be drunk and it would be really lame.

Bad idea, Snarr. Actually, it's a funny idea in practice, but you should know that it would never work.

[Cephas]

If it was on the Newbie board, it might work. That way they can be ignored easily, and when we feel like laughing at the 12yr olds, we can hit the thread...

[Snarr]

Yeah that's true, I guess we will just have to cherish those genuine drunken posts Quicksandslowly and Rescolian make.

[thrdflrmshr]

I don't drink, but I'm pretty sure that posting on the General Discussion board of TAO would be fairly low on my list of fun things to do while inebriated.

[Asmodeus]

I think that is completely possible or maybe he slowly reaching for the same beer he just never * Slowly Drinks beer * hes always reaching... or something of the sort

[theburning]

How long does it take to reach a beer? Is he reaching all the way to the brewery?


few things have actually caused me to laugh out loud on here...maybe a smirk etc. but an ACTUAL laugh ?? no.

but that caused me to repeatedly!

[ArcPaladinZero]

What would we do without those that can make the drunken posts?

[cheeseman]

Spotted cheese can sometimes cause dizziness and in the process, this so-called "drunken state". :D












:cool:

[Asmodeus]

were not talking about cheese here cheese boy.. were talking about hugh reaching across the brewery to get a can of beer...

[Northwind]

Originally posted by cheeseman
Spotted cheese can sometimes cause dizziness and in the process, this so-called "drunken state". :D Arg!
That's all I can take, a man canst take no more! Cheeseman's moronic comments are polluting everything, even this amusing thread about why Hugh never quite seems to reach the beer. My theory: He is reaching at an infinately slow rate and so will never get there, but never stop reaching. Anyway, back to the moronic cheeseman.
*Pulls out lead pipe. Repeatedly bashes on cheeseman .
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still bashing
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still bashing
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bashing
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yup, still bashing
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rests
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more bashing
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And now for the kicking!
(and so on)

[Cephas]

Northwind, now you've struck a chord. Wasn't there a Greek philosopher (Xeno, I think, but don't quote me on it) that had a motion theory that relates to this? Relative to this thread, it would go something like this:

*Hugh reaches slowly for beer*
(we have to break it down into smaller parts to get a good understanding of it, for some reason everything is done in halves)
*Hugh is halfway there*
*Hugh is 3/4 of the way there*
*Hugh is 7/8 of the way there*
*Hugh is 15/16 of the way there*
*Hugh is 31/32 of the way there*

And so on. Hugh will never reach his beer, but he will come agonizingly close...

[Hugh Junit]

* notices Northwind out of breath *
Take a break Northy, I'll work him over for a bit
* accepts lead pipe and resumes the sound thrashing of cheeseman*

kneecap * thud*
spleen * thud*
hip * thud*
skull * hollow thud *

[Hugh Junit]

Originally posted by Cephas

And so on. Hugh will never reach his beer, but he will come agonizingly close...

Sounds like a nightmare , Cephas. What kind of a mind could create such a cruel and brutal image? Me, NEVER reaching my beer....* shudders *

[Northwind]

Thanks Hugh,
I was getting a bit worn out there. Let me know when you are done and I can take over again.

Cephas - I know what you're talking about. As I (vaguely) remember it, it is impossible to actually reach anything as you continually need to cover half the distance between you and the object you are trying to reach. Though the distance covered to reach your goal shrinks all the time, it never goes away entirely and, therefor, it is impossible to reach anything. (For that matter, it is impossible to get halfway to anything as you have to cross half that distance and so on.)

As philosophy has proven that it is impossible to truly reach anything, I have given up trying. I have confined myself to my bed and simply order my lackeys to do my bidding. (Except for beating on Cheeseman, for that I override the laws of physics and beat ferociously upon his sorry hide!)

[Tama Drummer]

*slowly pushes Hugh's beer another five feet away*

[Asmodeus]

Can I have the lead pipe..? *waits looks at watch*
*looks at watch again*
Ahh screw it pulls out oak baseball bat beats cheeseman

beat
smash
crash
throws a shard of broken glass at cheeseman
*thuck*
Oooo that looked painful

Well that settles that...

*Slowly replaces hughs beer with an identical beer can filled with a mixture of tequila and exlax*
"He'll never know the difference"
*snickers*

[Cephas]

Wow, who'd know we'd have turned to philosophy to explain why Hugh has never reached (and never will reach) his beer.

Tama- that was a low blow.

Asmodeus- that was even lower. Should Hugh ever reach the tequilla/exlax drink, he'll never make it to the bathroom. And you thought that this was the stuff of nightmare before, Hugh??

[Hugh Junit]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
*Slowly replaces hughs beer with an identical beer can filled with a mixture of tequila and exlax*
"He'll never know the difference"
*snickers*

* slowly reaches for b...* Hey, What Is This Sh*t!?!?! Good Lord...* face turns white * someone......has taken.....my beer.....* falls to knees and begins to rant *
WHYYYY????
GOD....WHYYYY!?!?
ANSWER ME, DAMN YO.......* notices Asmodeus handing him bottle *

Sorry.....guess I.... uh........overeacted a bit. Sooo......lets go beat up cheeseman some more.......* slowly reaches for beer *

[Cephas]

I'm feeling like a good post was just wasted... Hugh, look up, and behold an even worse nightmare!

[ReNeGAdE]

*feeling left out, Ren decided to donate another 3 lead pipes to the cause. Also includes a machine to do all the bashing, while he sits there laughing. Ren also put a couple extra bears next to the original one to pick up motivation for Hugh Junit.*

*the end* (i would put a couple enters and say 'or not!' but that would be rlly lame...)

my work here is done.

[bludhoundz]

*Takes lead pipes, whacks cheeseman all over*
*slowly reaches for his own beer*
*realizes that being 13 does not entitle him to a beer, but is too late, and has taken a sip*
*chugs madly*
*looks at hugh in a funny way, sees the amount of alchohol in his veins, slowly reaches for lead pipe*
NO OFFENSE SHOULD BE TAKEN IN THE VIOLENT STATEMENTS BELOW

*whacks hugh's arm until he bleeds beer, slucks the beer slowly*
*offers hugh a keg to make up for violence*
*dips cheeseman's cheese in beer, realizes what hes done*
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*stuffs it up cheeseman's ass, and fills him like a turkey*
*takes a bite*
*makes cheeseman chug beer, kills him, and devours cheeseman*

[ReNeGAdE]

thats discusting.

[Omega_Paladin]

Remember that time I took your beer and you turned into the Hulk Hugh? That was great :).....

[Hugh Junit]

Originally posted by Omega_Paladin
Remember that time I took your beer and you turned into the Hulk Hugh? That was great :).....


Yeah, I overeacted that time as well. I'm much more in control now. The way I figure, it's just a beer. I can always get another and there is no sense in getting so upse.........* notices Omega reaching for beer*........What ....do you think you are doing ....OP? Oh God.....the HORROR....* begins to turn green*

[Omega_Paladin]

Don't worry, that's just the leporsy kicking in :). * Hauls in a cooler and begins chugging with the Pope well Hugh slowly reaches for his beer*

[Hugh Junit]

At least the Pope isn't drinking tequila this time. Remember last time, when he got so wasted that he took his pants off and got up on the bar? We all got arrested because of that maniac. I'm keeping my eye on him...and the cooler.......* slowly reaches for beer *

[Serge]

Of course Duffman would notice this, but it caused one of the most hillarious threads ever...

I now have an excuse for my slacking Northy, thanks...

**Pushes Hugh's Beer another 5 feet back toward him(not that he'll ever reach it anyways...)**

I remember my sister telling me about how you could never touch something b/c of that half the distance thing...

**Comes as close as philosophically possible to hitting chesseman with lead pipes many, many, many, times, aiming mainly at the kidney**

**spits at the dirty stamp-licker and walks off**


**Cries when he realizes he now can never get back home...**

[Hugh Junit]

Thanks for reminding me, Serge. I had completely forgotten about cheeze-doodle ...* begins beating cheese with rubber hose*

Whew , that's one hell of a workout......* slowly reaches for beer *

[Duffman]

Yes I did notice :). Then again any thread which is entirely devoted to alcohol and beating cheeseman with lead pipes has a good foundation.

*lines cheeseman's head up on golf course and settles down for a tough 4 par hole. Bunkers surrounding the target... winds up*

FORE!!!

[Only_Option]

Well, its official, TAO players are rambling alcoholics just reaching for beers left and right, sum it up?... Hugh, can I get my liscence to reach for beers as well?? I want to be cool!! :cool:

[Northwind]

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still bashing
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uh huh
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b-a-s-h-i-n-g
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spits up blood from the exhaustion of administering this endless bashing
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bashing again.
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